In my marriage I have experienced getting yelled at, told to shut up , i've seen things hit and thrown around the house, and I've had things thrown at me. I have been told that based on intimacy in my marriage my husband does not know if he would marry me again. I feel so much inside that my husband does not love me and these things make me feel so bad and worth nonthing. I have asked my husband if he loves me and he says he does. H is reply confuses me because of how he treats me at times, so I don't beleive him when he says he loves me . Since i 'm doubting him i always feel so much axiety around him. This anxiety fmakes me want to ask him everything that he does, like when he's on the computer, or phone calls that he makes . It drives him craz y. My husband says i have no self confidence because of these behaviors, but i feel I don't have confidence because of him. What is going on here? How can I just focus on me and get my self confidence back not to worry about him?
2007-07-09 12:00:30 · 9 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
some how you need to find yourself again - before you two met what did you do for yourself - find a way back to doing things on your own. you need that "ME" time, this will start to build up your self-confidence - you will then notice a change in yourself and all will fall into place. Suggestions: go to the movies alone (matinee is the best), but you have to find a way for yourself - take classes a community college - change your career - as for him you should never allow another to talk down to you, cause love should not hurt - good luck
2007-07-09 12:08:29 · answer #1 · answered by lynnette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar marriage for 14 years. He constantly yelled at me and the kids, threw things, destroyed things, punched walls and later found out....CHEATING! My self esteem was lower then dirt. I went into depression and wasn't able to get out. He also told me he loved me. Finally, i threw him out. He went to live with his girlfriend and my home was finally peaceful. No more yelling. I met someone new and finally found out what a loving marriage was supposed to be like. I realized i lived 14 years in a loveless, cruel and a lie of a marriage. Still to this day, if my new hubby even raises his voice a little, it makes me cry and my children. He has been wonderful and has made sure he doesn't do that. We talk things over. My advice is to get counciling or get out so you can find a real man.
2007-07-09 19:16:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be difficult to build self-esteem when you are verbally abused. It can be difficult to improve a relationship when there is abuse. Only you can change. You can't make the other person change. Do everything that you can to make yourself a better person. Try to understand your husband problems and then maybe try to help him. Let him know that you are there to listen and understand. Hopefully he will do the same for you. Suggest counseling. It sound lame, but counseling can do wonders for couples. Getting an outsiders perspective can help you see your faults and rediscover yourself. When you have done all that you can and it still isn't working...maybe it's time to move on. good luck!!!
2007-07-09 19:09:13 · answer #3 · answered by !~!~Edward~!~! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A real man does not belittle the one he is supposed to love
A real man never and I mean NEVER hits a woman
A real man learns to listen and communicate on a calm level
A real man is not a controlling fiend over his family, but instead a reasoning person that is there to help.
Lets change the words real man to real husband
2007-07-09 19:24:15 · answer #4 · answered by Pengy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like all your responces were to things he has done, so do not feel guilty, why do all you people put up with so much garbage. Being alone for a while is so much more healthy than being in a crap relationship
2007-07-09 19:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by unpublished critic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick his butt to the curb. He doesn't love you. He wants to tear you down so as to control you. Get on with your life without the miserable excuse for a man.
2007-07-09 19:04:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is using you as a punching bag. Time to get out before it gets worse.... It's up to you, but I have a bad feeling.
2007-07-09 19:08:50 · answer #7 · answered by FridaY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop letting him treat you that way. You have to stick up for yourself to show him you wont stand for it.
2007-07-09 19:06:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you just move out already
2007-07-10 14:42:01 · answer #9 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋