Is a womens self esteem based on a mans approvel?

Question

A lot of women sware up and down about how their value comes from the inside.. however do most women truely believe this?

Case and point:

Attractive women often have an attitude and a big ego even when they are worthless once you get to know them.

Then less attractive women may be very nice and even have low self esteem, but once getting to know them they are amazing people.

Yes I know men judge women by looks, and I'm one of them. So is it safe to say a womans self-esteem is based mostly on opinions of men?

Answer 1

No, it's based on the woman's approval of herself.

A woman can oft times look to a man for praise or compliments, but for them to matter much to her she would first have to believe that the man mattered. So anything she receives this way from a man is second only to what she believes about herself and is willing to accept. If it even ranks second.

Answer 2

I can only speak for myself but, when I was younger the answer would have been yes. 100% yes. Sad but true. With age and maturity has come the knowledge that my self worth is not based on anyones opinion but my own! My self esteem comes in the knowledge that I am succesful in my career, family and friendships. If someone doesn't like something about me that is not my problem and it really doesn't matter at the end of the day when I go home and shut the front door and my hubby and family welcomes me with open arms and before I go to bed at night I can look myself in the mirror and like the person who is looking back at me.

Answer 3

It's not safe to say that a "womans self-esteem is based mostly on opinions of men". While there are many women who erroneously place a man's value of their beauty in the forefront of how they feel about themselves, your statement is too much of a generalization. It insinuates that all women are like this and I can speak from personal experience that not all women are.

Many times a woman's self esteem is based on SOCIETY's perception of attractiveness and worth. Women who are attractive by society's standards often have an inflated sense of self worth and therefore may have the "attitude" you speak of. These women have spent lifetimes in some cases being idealized by men and feel entitled to it. Women like this sometimes have low self esteem but hide it under a false bravado of hyper-sexuality and manipulative behavior towards men.

On the other hand women who do not live up to society's perception of what is attractive will often have lower self esteem because they have images of size 1, blonde and impossibly perfect super models, performers and actresses thrust upon them and they feel they can never live up to that standard. Many women manage to break through that barrier and cease to care that they don't fit into society's standard of "attractive" and these women possess a beauty that can not be duplicated with designer clothes and boob-jobs. They know they are sexy and attractive because they feel it from within and it radiates without. It's part of them being "amazing people". It's when a woman stops trying to fit that standard that she can be truly happy and achieve self acceptance regardless of what anyone thinks of her.

Answer 4

Men don't always judge by beauty. I found that out the hard way. I started to get to know a married man (I am married too) that would make me laugh and I found out my not so attractive looks and over weight body didn't mean much. I found out his wife was not so good looking and over weight too.

I found out there was an attraction there and got my emotions big time hurt. Because I had to pull away because I knew it was wrong. Of course he only went so far too but he had no idea my feelings were involved. My best friend told him I had a crush on him and he blew it off as nothing. He hasn't bothered me except after 1 month of non communication he sent me an email Friday. My friend said he doesn't want me to forget him because what we had developed into a friendship and he loved the attention.

I saw him today and it still bothers me to see him. My self confidence/esteem that I thought I had built up when I knew him crumbles to the ground. I don't let him know that he would probably use it to his advantage.

Brains and a caring heart sometimes go too far.

Answer 5

Not by a long shot buddy.
The word self-esteem start with "self"...and that is the person whose approval means something.

That being said, I must acknowledge the huge number of people socialized in dysfunctional settings, who learn from their environment that they had better care more about what someone else thinks of them ...or else...

For better or for worse, self-esteem is a product of socialization.

Answer 6

I think that women in a relationship yes base their selfesteem is based on what the men say. My sis is going threw that and my mom went threw it so i pretty much understand about the low selfesteem and men. I wish that men would stop being jerks and stop thinking about themselfs and think about the women too. Now i am not talkin about all men there are some great ones out there but most are like this.

Answer 7

I have a high self esteem. And there isn't a man in my life. I don't need anyone's approval except my own. If I don't think I'm fabulous, why would anyone else think I am.

Answer 8

Women Studies is NOT just about females.

It's about the intersections of GENDER, RACE, CLASS, and SEXUALITY.

In other words Women Studies is ALSO about men!
It should be called GENDER studies so as to ease the confusion in all you confounded types.

BTW, its not "sware" it should be "swear"
and its not "case and point" it should be "case in point"

Just FYI ;)

Answer 9

It sounds as if you hold true that the center of the universe revolves around you. Under these conditions, it is as you say (giggle) However, it sounds like if the universe didn't revolve around you then you would revolve yourself around women which kinda flips the polaris center!

Answer 10

A woman with true self-esteem learns to put a man's approval LAST, if at all.