OK I was friends with him first, then met the wife and we all get along. Now I just found out that he hit her, I know that when a man hits a woman, he will repeat that and she told me it hasn't been the first time. I don't know how comfortable he'll feel with me knowing. I believe she did the right the thing by calling the cops cause she was in danger. I want to help him get help, how do I go about that? She is hurting inside but women are not punshing bags. My heart is breaking for them both. They just got married but have been together for a few years already. Any way to help them or should I stay out of it?
2007-07-09 09:05:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm happily married and would like them to have a relationship like ours. I know he did say she felt threatened by me because I'm "nice" but I don't want anything like that with him. I have a wonderful guy. I never knew he was abusive till today that she told me. I guess some people have a "double side" of them.
2007-07-09 09:39:32 · update #1
"the" wife? Sounds like she's an object.
Stay out of it unless you are asked a direct question. I would even stay away from them as a couple. You don't really know the dynamics of the couple, you don't live there. She had to accept you because you were his friend. That doesn't mean she wanted to. She has to get along with you.
You will lose them both if you interfere. I know you mean well, but it is difficult for marriages to have a single person as one partner's friend. Don't call them, let them call you.
2007-07-09 09:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by P S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is only so much you can do here. You can tell your friend that there are other options besides just doing nothing about the problem. Of course, since you are friends with him too, maybe you should make mention of it. Otherwise, I am not sure if you should get too deeply involved, being that I don't know the parties. However, I am curious why you decided to befriend a wife-beater? He sounds like an insecure loser who has serious issues.
2007-07-09 16:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by Rckets 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it...other than to get her the help she needs either through the legal system or a local shelter...alerting him that you know could send him into a rage and all the anger will be directed at his wife.
2007-07-09 16:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by juda75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay out of it...just with anything else...people can only help themselves and you should be standing by the woman not the man...Any man who hits a woman for ANY reason isn't a man but a piece of sh!t. Plain and simple.
2007-07-09 16:10:03 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can be friend to her and let her know you're always there for her. I think he needs to get into counseling for men who hit women. A good start might be if there are any women's shelters in the area, they usually have resources, I'd ask there and see if they have any professional advice.
2007-07-09 16:09:35 · answer #5 · answered by Blip B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to befriend him first make sure there is a clear line of FRIENDS only. Let him know that you know and she is tired of it and all that other crap and the ultimatum. Change or loose your friend. But remember that you are dealing with fire that can become unstable at anytime.
2007-07-09 16:11:54 · answer #6 · answered by 1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is stay out of it. She is the only person that can put a stop to his abuse, not you.
2007-07-09 16:22:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to help the man otherwise he will keep up with this reckless behavior.
2007-07-09 16:10:41 · answer #8 · answered by sapho3000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should confront him about it. It is not good to date a married man.
2007-07-09 16:09:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm if he wants help he will get it himself! n if this wasnt the first time he hit her than she needs more help than him!
2007-07-09 16:11:24 · answer #10 · answered by notyochic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋