I cheated on my husband in December with my ex. Then he caught me talking to another dude will two other and me and my bf well we have three kids together. I swear I have changed aIl lot and I go to church to help but my bf keeps giving crap and makes me feel worthless and unhappy. he accuses me everyday and runs his mouth about things and it is getting me tried. i mean he is giving me another chance but what do i do. Do i put up with it because I did so much wrong?
2007-07-09 08:53:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You brought this on yourself. Put yourself in his shoes. Maybe time apart would be best for you guys.
2007-07-09 08:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing quite so pathetic as a cheater complaining that they are being punished by being reminded of thier
transgressions.
You may think you have changed and you may have.
The reality is your mate understood that you changed when he found out that you were banging some other guy.
I'm sorry that you are finding it difficult to deal with the vison of his displeasure but I'm not quite sure you understand that you have inflicted the worst voluntary emotional pain he has had to endure. You kicked him in the balls and then followed it up with a punch to the gut.
You don't get to go to church, say I've changed and never be reminded again.
So here it is in a nutshell.
YOU SCREWED UP. Be glad he did not toss your butt to the curb. You will remember that you did it to him him not the other way around. This is you price for your dalience.
Was it worth it?
Did the sex you had offset the pain you inflicted and are getting back frequently now?
You are getting tired? Do you think he deserved what you did to him?
This is you pennance either live with it, or leave because I know it will not stop anytime soon.
It took me about a year and a half to stop bringing it up.
Frankly, I gave her another chance and we are still together over 25 years later but that memory never fades. If you are not prepared to put up with this then do yourself a favor and leave now. The memory of the hurt you gave NEVER leaves.
It goes back burner in time but it is never gone.
I don't believe you thought of this while you were getting banged but this is the consequence.
That's right honey, even though you think you have changed you will always be considered capable of being the lying cheat you allowed yourself to be. You have rewritten the rules of your relationship. Live with it and be remorseful of leave.
He may forgive, Jesus may forgive but he will NEVER forget.
You made the rules live with them.
2007-07-09 16:34:54 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some point he is going to have to let it go so that the relationship can grow. What you did was wrong, period. But he stayed because he wanted to work it out, you shouldn't have to put up with his constant abuse, you broke the trust but now you guys should be working towards improving the relationship and building back trust. Your not going to be able to do that with the way he's handling this. He is still hurt and angry understandably, but that doesn't give him the right to treat you this way. You guys should get counseling so that he can heal, otherwise he won't be able to see the changes your trying to make.
2007-07-09 16:06:46 · answer #3 · answered by darknangelic77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasnt forgiven you...thats probly what he says but hasnt...he now has something against you and by you doing that he feels justified by what he chooses to do to you...(hang it over your head or cheat)
he knows he's wrong...ppl dont realize it..in this situation if he knows you have cheated and lays down with you later(have sex) in essence he is saying he forgives you...nothing has changed...but he's wrong...and by him continuing to act like that...your relationship will not improve... he will continue to be spiteful and incsecure... he hasnt accepted what you've done but he doesnt want to move on nor let you move on...
2007-07-09 16:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by valued_maturity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like you need to grow up.your statements and question was so badly written i have to assume you lack real understanding and common sense.you have no idea how traumatic this has been for your boyfriend and honestly you don't really sound like you care.you need to get an education so you can get a real job and support yourself because you are going to be alone! your boyfriend probably thinks once a cheater always a cheater,he may be right.this is your fault now deal with it.adultery is a sin for a reason.good luck.simply going to church will not save you if you continue living like a whore!
2007-07-09 16:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"my bf keeps giving crap and makes me feel worthless" You ARE worthless. YOU made your choices and now YOU have to deal with the consequences of those choices. Grow up, stop whining you have three children to raise and you're not fit to raise them.
2007-07-09 17:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He now owns you and you should put with it. However, if you are putting up with it, and you are earning his trust and love back, he should be backing off. How long that takes depends on how badly he was hurt and much effort you are puitting into earning him back. If he does not back off as soon as you like, then you have a tough decision to make.
2007-07-09 16:22:14 · answer #7 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you made the bed and now lay in it or you could prove to him you have changed and you dont wont no one else but him he is gonna do that because you hurt him so bad just give him time and he wil stop accusing you of things !maybe go to marriage counseling it would help
2007-07-09 16:00:51 · answer #8 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is the hardest thing to replace when it is broken... the only thing you can do is live the good life and show, by example, that you have changed. Stop the talking and do the doing!
2007-07-09 15:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by Sciencemom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you should suck it up and take it, it's your own fault. I mean what would you be like if he cheated on you multiple times? Seriously? I'd leave you if I were him, you better be glad he's patient with you cause the majority of men would not be.
2007-07-09 15:58:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, leave and start over again, because he will never stop bitching about your past. He will never trust you again, so why stay.
You cheated and lied, would you stay with a person who cheated and lied to you?
2007-07-09 16:14:06 · answer #11 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋