it turns out that we got into an argument and i ended up leaving the house. i didn't want to go back home because i knew it would be ugly so i checked into a motel and guess what. she decides to go look for me and of course she finds my car parked at a motel. i can understand why she thinks that i cheated on her, but i didn't. i explained it to her a million times but no progress.
2007-07-09 08:50:22 · 27 answers · asked by **** 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well your wife is just going to have to learn to trust you. Your story sounds viable.. I'm sure you didn't cheat on her - but her being upset with you is blocking her mind and causing her to think irrationally. Let her calm down and then try explaining it again. Another thing to do would just tell her "I did not cheat on you - I never had the intentions in the first place - I checked into a motel for the night to spare our argument, you can believe me or not, but there is the truth.. now lets drop it" That is exactly what I would say!
2007-07-09 08:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Granted, being at a motel is a little suspicious, but I think it's a bit much to jump to that conclusion. Is she supposing that you orchestrated an argument and shacked up at a motel just to have a night with a random woman?? That would have been some perfect planning on your part. If you are married and in a healthy relationship she should trust you. Even though she doesn't at this juncture then only time and patience will prove your fidelity. No amount of talking will matter.
2007-07-09 15:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by Shelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if anyone saw you check into the hotel. If they saw you alone, that might help. You can also be very direct the next time this comes up. "I left to get away for the night. I did NOTHING. I married you because I love you. I still love you. I've given you absolutely NO reason not to trust me. If you didn't trust me and thought I was in the room with someone, you should've come up an seen for yourself. I went there to get away. I'm done with this subject - there's nothing else I can tell you. What do you need for me to convince you? A lie detector test??" I would seek one out if it meant convincing her. Maury Povich does it for free all the time. Another thing to think of.. sometimes if people accuse and continue to accuse, it's because they're hiding something. Could your wife be hiding something? That talk show might be a good idea - free trip and you both find out the truth.
2007-07-09 15:58:39 · answer #3 · answered by Blip B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either your wife is an irrational, paranoid lunatic or you've given her good reason to suspect that cheating is a possibility. Either way, checking into a hotel instead of communicating and dealing with the problem speaks volumes about your relationship. If the two of you can't find another way of dealing with conflict than one of you leaving the house and feeling as though checking into a hotel is a better option than returning home, then marriage councelling might be a good avenue to pursue.
2007-07-09 16:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't gain trust in a day. It takes time. Tell her that you are willing to stick it out and take the time she needs to learn to trust you. But also tell her that you are worthy of that trust and that you need to know that she is willing to give that trust in the end. Then be the best husband that you can be, so that she'll know you are trying your best.
It wouldn't hurt if the next time you get in a fight and want to stay at a motel, call her and tell her where you are staying and what the number is in case of emergency. That way, she won't be thinking you are trying to hide what you are doing.
2007-07-09 15:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by Manda B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dam that is crazy...well she should believe you. Maybe you have cheated before...in that case i can understand why she has trouble believing you. Just explain that you guys weren't getting along and you though it would be best if you slept out to get some time apart to cool off. If she doesn't believe you then the two of you have some trust issues that need to be worked out. I dont know what to tell you.
2007-07-09 15:54:43 · answer #6 · answered by California Kush 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to go to the motel and talk to the person that was working and ask if you were by youreself or with someone else that would prove to her youre telling the truth and when she drove by the motel and seen youre car why didnt she stop and go to the door i would of to see what you were up too or tell her you will take a lie detector to prove to her you didnt cheat good luck
2007-07-09 15:56:49 · answer #7 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! Sounds like the problem runs deeper than this specific issue. It's not your fault if she remains irrational 9I guess you should have be wiser in your marriage choice if that is the case). The only way out of this is to stand firm. You just have to tell her to stop being so irrational and that the argument is silly. Time will let it slip by.
2007-07-09 15:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
janicajayne has the best answer dont you think? basicly she- and more will show up, are saying your guilty of something weather you did it or not and now they recomend counceling,
and thats he problem with your wife and most of the women on here your guilty before you do anything
the problem is there is nothing you can do, you cant prove a negative deal with it till it blows over and if not break free and search for greener pastures,
oh an dont ever lower yourself to sleeping in a car
2007-07-09 16:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by eyesinthedrk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've given her reason in the past to suspect that's what you were doing at a motel. Try marriage counseling.
2007-07-09 15:53:29 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋