Worse yet this is pretty much what always happens on my birthday, father's day, anniversary, etc. This little problem happens with my wife, friends, co-workers, you name it. Yet I never forget these days for these same people. I think I would just like to tell all of them to KMA.
2007-07-09 08:36:17 · 37 answers · asked by shane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm glad when they forget my birthday.
2007-07-09 08:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From time to time things just get busy and people make the mistake of overlooking a special day or two. I know this year both my husband and I forgot our anniversary, until we looked at a calender, we celebrated a week later. I know it can get tough and even a little hurtful, but it will not get better by hurting them back. If your birthday is an important day for you to celebrate then by all means it is okay to make sure it gets celebrated. No need to make post it notes, but you can say things like, "this year I think we should bar b q for my birthday" suttle, yet clearly stated. There is no sense in sitting quietly year after year saying, let's see if they forget again! ad then being bitter when they do. I know you feel bad, but bitterness will only make it worse. I hope next year is better for you. By the way have a great birthday, whether it is remembered or not you can at least celebrate in the fact you've got an entire other year to look forward to.
2007-07-09 08:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by Bragg Wmn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's time to "forget" theirs. And change your p.o.v on birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
Personally, I think birthdays are over-rated. We don't make a big deal about them in my family after everyone reaches adulthood. We recognize the kids' and that's basically it. Adults may send a card, may not. This year, I got a card from my parents, one from each of my kids. My "significant other" watched the kids and smiled. Whatever. Good enough for me. I have a healthy, happy family that recognizes me all year long. I don't want it to all start and end on one day! (((-:
My advice would be to stop making a big deal of the other's birthdays, etc. and see what happens. Maybe nothing will happen and that will be a sign that they really don't give a rip if you forget theirs either. If anyone causes a stir, maybe they'll clue in and realize what they've done.
That would be my advice for family members, though..immediate ones.
As far as co-workers go? Who cares if they remember your birthday or not? Same with friends. They all have their own lives to live and aren't running around with you on their minds. I don't mean that disrespectfully. Some people, like me, don't put a high amount of value on "one single day" in the year. So if I don't turn out the bells and whistles for my best friend's birthday, it isn't out of disrespect...it's just because I don't see the big deal. My friend is still my friend....all the other days of the year.
Really, it comes down to your perception of respect, doesn't it? Try not to focus so much on one day out of a year. Make ordinary days special and those routine ones won't seem to matter so much.
I can see that your feelings are hurt. Realize that others just may see birthdays and anniversaries as "just another day", and try not to take it too personally.
2007-07-09 08:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by GeriGeri 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. It is a very bad thing that your wife forgets your birthday. Maybe you should ask her if your birthday means anything to her because that is simply a horrible thing. If anyone forgets your birthday, it definitely should not be her. Tell her how you feel and let her know that it is very unfair for her to to not even think about you enough to celebrate your big day.
If all else fails, go do something you enjoy on your own. Take a night out and go have fun. Do something for yourself. Enjoy being you and make the best of this bad situation. You shouldn't have to sit at home with nothing to do on your birthday. Just take matters into your own hands and have fun on your own.
Happy Birthday and good luck!!!
2007-07-09 08:46:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I found out that if I wanted something, I needed to ask. So, each year about a couple of weeks before my birthday, I call my friends and ask if they would like to meet me for my birthday dinner. I don't want presents, just their company, and I pay for my own meal. I love the party and the fun.
If your wife is forgetting, how about looking at her calendar and notating these special occasions. If she still "forgets", then there may be more problems that missing these occasions.
Have you ever forgotten her on mother's day, or her birthday? if not, you could "forget" and see what she says. "Oh, honey, I didn't realize that this was a big deal, since you always forget mine".... Probably not the best answer but it could bring the problem to a head quickly.
Lastly, you could tell her that her forgetting these occasions is bothering you and ask if there is a reason why she is doing this.
Hope this helps!
2007-07-09 08:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by Angiej1213 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Let it go.
All these ideas to make your family feel bad are just going to backfire and make you look like a pouting baby. (Don't be mad, I'm not saying you are. Your feelings are important.)
But, do you really want to guilt them into cards and presents? Would it still feel the same if you knew that the only reason they did anything was because you shamed them into it?
Reminding people it is your birthday is like begging for affection and if I were you, I would lose my self respect.
If you are going to talk to your family, I'd dig deeper to the root of why you feel bad, because this is really what the issue is....I'll bet they disrespect you in other ways as well.
And that's not to say that you deserve it or are asking for it either. Just that they aren't treating you right on the whole...right? Making them recognize your birthday, when it doesn't come from the heart? Come on...you don't really want that, do you?
2007-07-09 13:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by Svelte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when it's your wife, you could tell her that you think it is rude that she didn't remember your birthday and ask her to think of you next time because it hurts your feelings. With your friends and co-workers, you can't expect them to remember your birthday just because you remember theirs. If you expect to get something back when you do something nice for other people (like a card or gift on their birthday) you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
2007-07-09 08:41:09 · answer #7 · answered by Manda B 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can see how co-workers would not remember, but your wife, friends!!! You don't want to change who you are, but I would forget the wifes one year and see what happens. When is your birthday.. i will send you a card. At my age, I am now happy when everyone forgets mine.
2007-07-09 08:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Everyone I know is busy with work, school, kids, etc., so if something is important to me then I plan a celebration myself.
As for remembering everyone else's celebrations, that is really sweet of you, but obviously the inconsiderate people in your life don't deserve it. I wouldn't bother anymore, except for close family. I bet when you finally "forget" their birthdays, they'll notice. If they ask, say "It seemed to me that people preferred to not acknowledge birthdays around here, so I decided to stop doing so."
In case it's your birthday today... Happy Birthday!! (((Birthday Hugs)))
2007-07-09 08:44:39 · answer #9 · answered by 1M9 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its not the end of the world. I could care less if folks remembered my birthday or anniversary... I start saving some money, and treat myself to something special on the days that are important to me. I still remember others tho.. and I do not get bitter about their lack of not remembering..
2007-07-09 08:42:07 · answer #10 · answered by slither22a 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Hmmmm You could do what I do and CRY!!!! It got to where I'd make it a point to let EVERYBODY know it's MY birthday or mother's day and I'm expecting something!!! A card, a wish, a Happy Birthday/Mother's Day, etc..... I'd give my self a party and invite all of the ppl who forget, and when they ask who threw the party and why say " I gave myself a party, cuz all of you are so self centered and didn't care or remember!? They won't forget next year............bastards.....
2007-07-09 08:41:12 · answer #11 · answered by Candi is Dandy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋