my husband gave me permission to be with other men???

Question

okay heres the deal. we are very young, im 19 he is 20. we have been together since we were 15. he has been with one other woman before me, and he is my only partner. we have been toying around with the idea of a threesome but have never agreed to it. the other day he told me that im free to be with another man as long as he doest find out. he told me that he is afraid that once were older and have children that i would regret only having him as a partner. i in turn feel the same way, i dont want him to regret not "exploring" so i too told him not to let me find out. we did set a deadline though, we didnt have a wedding but went through the courts. so we plan on a wedding next year in july, that would be the deadline. we have a few rules like no strangers, no romance, no where where we usually are ie. bed, car, fav restuarunt... anyway is this a good idea. i know it sounds a bit crazy but im torn. i mean part of me thinks it could work the other... im scared.

Answer 1

what a guy...i'd love for my wife to explore a bit (married 13 years).

Enjoy...just remember who to come home to

Answer 2

Oh Sweetie, Have either of you ever heard the expression 'three's company & two's a crowd'.
You are both so young any experience to be gained you can get from each other. You can have so much fun learning and playing with someone you love & trust. One night stands are only exciting because they are for one night, lust soon wears thin in that situation!
Bringing a third party into your bed is never a good idea and even if physically that person might not be there, mentally he/she would be.
If your at all TORN as you put it, it would seem that you may already have made your decision as to what you really want to do. Talk to your partner, get him to talk to you.
You may find he's not so sure if he's honest with himself and truely loves you then the thought of you being with someone whilst with him could seriously cause problems in your relationship on either side.
And a scar like that placed inside a loving relationship can tear it apart.
That Green Monster is a Nasty bugger!!!
So "Explore each other" Play little games, afterall I'm an oldie 35years my husband too, we've been together since we were 18 years and we still try and find new things between us. It works you don't get bored we all change as we get older and want to try different things...........Ultimately you'll both have to decide, just remember if you want to be together for the long haul don't jump iinto anything that'll come back and bite you both on the derier......

Answer 3

Well...this idea I would normally say NO WAY to...but given how young you are, perhaps this could stop the two of you from cheating on eachother later.
Either that, or you're going to decide you like it so much that you are going to have an open marriage.
This threesome idea lends itself to the open marriage idea too.
BUT! I have a concern. Was this his idea? Was it something you were thinking too? Do you feel this desire, or is it just that he is concerned? I'm afraid that if it is almost solely his desire, that he is wanting to have sex with other women, and using this idea to get the green light to go ahead from you. Or I am afraid that you will regret this if you don't also desire this as much as he does. Please be sure that this is something that you want to do to, before agreeing to this.
Just do this. Imagine him having sex with somebody else, and imagine very visual and graphic things going on. How much does the image bother you? or does it bother you at all?
p.s. If you do this, it should definitely be ONLY STRANGERS. If you involve people that may be in your social circle in the future, it could be a disaster.

Answer 4

Let me clarify, all of me thinks you two are dumb. Really really dumb. I can see you wanting to break up, because that's what will happen. Relationships are started by sex and kept together by trust, break that trust and it doesn't go back together, it stays broken. You will regret having sex with someone you don't really want to have sex with just to find out what other men are like. No one should have sex with someone without emotional involvement, and if you are sharing your emotions, you are sharing yourself in a whole other way. Sex is best when two people love each other, its not a question of who does what where and for how long.
Forget threesomes, forget experimenting, forget exploring and keeping secrets, if you found someone you love at an early age and you are happy, then stay that way. You already have the best you possibly can.
And I'm an old married lady and I know.

Answer 5

I think this is a bad idea. Age and exploration have little to do with the love and trust and fidelity that a marriage is built on. My husband and I have been together since we were 15 and 16 - 18 years total. Neither of us have ever been with anyone else and neither of us feel we have missed out on anything. We have a great physical relationship as well as a solid marriage. I'm very proud of the fact that no other man has ever touched me the way my husband has and I feel the same knowing that he has never been with anyone else. It sounds like he wanted to sleep with someone and found a way to get you to agree to it.

Answer 6

BIG MISTAKE!!!!! You will live to regret this if you go through with it! If you love each other and are committed to making your relationship work, then it doesn't matter how many sexual partners you've had. In fact, the two of you should respect the fact that you haven't been with a lot of people. How in the world could this possible have a good outcome??? Think about it! Nothing good can come from it!

Answer 7

While I understand what you are both thinking you have to decide what feelings you would you rather live with in your future together ??The Resentment (that you both will feel) due to what you know happened with other people right before your wedding. Or regret .....knowing you had the Chance to experience other people and didn't. It's up to you either way it means some work in your future as a couple.

Answer 8

Very good idea!!! If more people had that attitude there would be a lot less divorce. You shouldn't care what these self riotous people on this site think. The only thing that I saw that you might want to change a little is the no strangers thing. It has been my experience that if you hook up with people you know just for sex there is a greater chance of feeling forming, and if you guys are just doing this to sew your oats then you want to stay away from the feelings.

Answer 9

Instead of asking people on Yahoo Answers find a marriage counselor or sex therapist who can help you through this and explore your relationship.

I have known people with open marriages who have been happily married for over 15 years, and others who have divorced over affairs. A professional can help you sort this out. You might also want to look for a local swingers group, where you can both act out together in a safe manner, guided by others who are experienced.

Good luck!

Answer 10

well it's not like he gave YOU permission to be with other men. It's more like he gave himself permission to be with other women. Have you ever thought of that? Is "exploring" more important than your relationship?
oh by the way, I just hope you got no kids yet. I understand how you both feel since you're both young. BUT, think of the consequences of going out with other people besides yourselves. You might not plan it, but you could get pregnant, you know? and your husband could also make somebody pregnant...are you ready for that?
and worse, you could fall in love with the next guy...and your husband could also fall in love with his next girl.
Whatever you do think about the consequences first and how it would affect your relationship. Why marry him if you wanted to be with other guys still? You should have done that BEFORE committing with him, not after. The same goes for him. You're right to feel scared you know...

why are you married so young anyway?
goodluck!

Answer 11

This whole thing sounds like a bad idea to me. You will not only ruin the trust he has for you, but you will ruin the trust you have for him. And once that line has been stepped over, it will be easier and easier each time. Everytime he goes out or you go out, you both will suspect and wonder if the other is going to meet someone else. No, all I can come up with is that this is a recipe for disaster.