I wa srecently diagnosed with terminal cancer. To help take some of the burden off my spouse and family, I have begun to plan my own funeral. I have selected the venue and have decided on cremation. I would like my ashes scattered in three different locations: Over the Caribbean Sea, the Volcanoes of Hawaii, and the lake in from of the Magic Kingdom at Disney World. For the funeral service itself, I am expressly asking that no one wear black. I would like everyone in tropical/casual clothing. Also, for the closing song, I would like Jimmy Buffett's "One Particular Harbour" to be played. I don't want this to be a sad occasion, as I have enough time to connect with friends and say my goodbyes.My spouse doesn't feel that my arrangements are befitting and proper. Thoughts?
2007-07-09 06:48:27 · 32 answers · asked by John D 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
First, I appreciate everyone's feedback. To answer a question about my ashes being scattered, we live within a two hour drive of Disney World, and a 40 minute flight from the Bahamas, so the first two are easily handled. I know that Disney may frown upon this activity, but it's pretty easy to rent a boat there and get very close to the area I would want them scattered. As for Hawaii, I have a business friend, who said that she would take care of the details, so the only cost involved would be a Fedex charge.
2007-07-09 07:17:13 · update #1
I think the arrangements are absolutely proper.......The only problem being the sites for your ashes to be scattered..But it can be done on the sly! I am a firm believer that Funerals are for the living and that it should be a celebration of the persons life no crying and all laughter. I personally dont like the cremation but its your choice (Because of unscrupulous funeral directors) . I hope when its my time I can handle it like you.
2007-07-09 06:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not? I see nothing wrong with what you are wanting, death is a part of living, no one gets out of this life alive.
I am an American Christian Pastor, 51 years old and as far as I know my being over weight would be my only health issue.
I live on a small budget in the Philippines with my Filipina Wife and I have all ready made plans for my funeral when it comes time.
There is nothing wrong with planning what you want,
1. I want no flowers when I die (like the song says if you can't give me flowers when I'm living then please don't bring them when I am gone).
2. The song I want played is "The Statler Brothers" ( I believe He died for me so I believe I'll live for Him).
3. I will be buried in a tomb (as is custom here, the ground is too hard) and then about seven years later they will take my bones out and put them in a mass grave and the tomb will be used for someone else.
4. Cremation is too expensive here.
5. I want a Praise & Worship celebration with good old Southern Gospel and Blue Grass Gospel music.
Anyway back to your cremation you may have a problem with where you want your ashes, there are laws on that so you should check into that.
Good Bless you, and I hope you don't mind but we will pray for both you and your family and friends...I pray they will accept your plans.
Rev. Roy & Cathy Ross
2007-07-09 07:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well depending on where you live, it might cost them an absolute fortune in travelling to get to Hawaii and go up in a helicopter and scatter the ashes, then a trip to the Caribbean, also I don't know if Disney World would let you do it there. Not trying to put a downer on it. The song and the Hawaian clothing should be ok - I don't see why not. It's all about celebrating you as a person and if that's what you like then so be it..... xx
2007-07-09 06:54:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I truly understand where you're coming from. My m-i-l and my wife planned her ,
IMO, it was a difficult thing to do, but at the same time, a smart and wise thing to do.
Planning her own funeral was the best thing for everyone involved. This way everything she wanted done, was done, no questions asked.
I have to say, Ppl planning their own funeral are very strong and have my Blessing and respect for being so strong with dealing with something like death, in a manner a lot of ppl couldn't handle.
So...to answer your question....
I not only do I think it's appropriate, I also think you're one very special person.
May the Good Lord Be with you!!!!
God Bless
2007-07-09 07:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by deiracefan_219 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is quite appropriate. It's called pre-need planning and it takes a tremendous amount of pressure off of a grieving family.
How you wish to be remembered is entirely up to you. Nothing is bad or needs to be scrutinized by other members of the family. This is, after all, the way you wish for your life to be celebrated AND you are planning it, paying for it and have a right to having it carried out after your expiration.
I totally agree with what you have done. This is a testament to the person that you are and it shows that you have an outstanding love for your family. Otherwise, they would be going over to a funeral home to plan services that perhaps would reflect their personality rather than yours. This is a difficult time in your Spouse's life and you have done her a great service.
I truly hope that you have led a fulfilling life, it sounds as though you have.
Meet you on the way up!
2007-07-09 07:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by Cranky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry about your condition! I think it's wonderful that you are so thoughtful to not wanting to leave the burden on your family of planning the funeral (not that you are a burden in any way!) but it is allot to deal with after losing a loved one!
Just make a living will and state everything you wish to happen! Talk with your spouse and let her know the reasons why! It's nice to celebrate your life than to morn a death! It's probably just hard on your wife.
I wish you nothing but happiness during the rest of your time with your friends and family. GOD BLESS!
2007-07-09 06:56:31 · answer #6 · answered by Heather 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, I am an event planner who specializes in Funeral Planning so I think it is commendable that you are taking the initiative to plan your funeral. I also love that you are making it yours completely. Many people still feel it is inappropriate to stray from the traditional black and mourning feeling of funerals, however, that is changing. I think if you explain to your spouse your feelings about why you want your services a certain way, they will understand. Saying goodbye your way is very important us all. I'm sorry for your suffering, but I'm happy that you have looked at your life and what you love and decided to make it your autograph! I wish you the best.
2007-07-11 10:11:34 · answer #7 · answered by senoelx1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I'd question is the scattering of the ashes in such geographically separate locations.
Even if there's plenty of money for the travel, you're asking someone to take three trips to some really nice locations for a serious purpose, two of which they will be looking forward to more travel for the same purpose. I'm not sure that's fair to do to them.
I'd suggest you pick one, and if I read you correctly, instruct them to do the ceremony soon after arrival, and then go have a good time.
I would bet that you're someone I'd have enjoyed getting to know.
2007-07-09 06:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by open4one 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, I am very sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. May God bless you. Everything is possible through Him. If you pray, and really believe it, He is the one who can cure you. Ask Him to bless your doctors. But to answer your question, personally, I do not think what you are doing is wrong. My mother also has a terminal cancer and has planned everything out to the "t". Even down to where she wants the family to go out to eat after wards... But do what you feel is right, the point of you doing this is to take the burden off your family. I think you are doing the right thing. God bless you and keep a positive attitude, you'd be surprised how much that changes things!
2007-07-09 06:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by aim4perfection18 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. It is very practical for you to express your desires now. It is YOUR funeral after all. You may want to check with the places you want your ashes scattered to see if it is permissible. I guess you are planning a tropical take of an Irish wake meaning the celebration of your life.
2007-07-09 06:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by sharon g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋