I don't feel like a normal 18 year old. Can anyone shed light on why I feel like this?

Question

I don't usually worry about all the things that all my friends do. I usually worry about things years and years from now. I worry that I won't ever accomplish all these ambitious goals that I have for myself. It's something that always torments me everyday. Many would say that I have plenty of time to worry about these things, yet I feel that I don't have enough time, and I want everything to happen for me NOW! I strive to be the best at my profession, though I don't even know what it actual is going to be. I want to achieve a position where I would have some kind of power and influence so that I may accomplish my aims at trying to improve the world. I wish all the time that I could meet someone my age with such ambitions as mine, yet my search has been fruitless. So I assume that this is not normal behavior for someone my age. Anyone have any guesses on what the problem is?

Answer 1

If you felt like a normal 18 year old, you WOULD be abnormal.
Late adolescence is the time when we feel most unhappy with ourselves and most out of place. New experiences and insights are flooding in and it's all made the more confusing because so many people are giving us so much conflicting advice, most of it bad. And it's all happening just as those growth hormones are really whupping your body and brain around.

Hey! nobody ever said that the growth process was pleasant. The good news is that you'll get over it. I often say that adolescence proves that there is a God 'cuz there ain't any other explanation for so many of us living to see 21.

Impatience is normal. It's hard too take the long view when you haven't seen a lot yet. Part of that impatience comes from the fact that teenagers think that they're smarter than the rest of us. And, in one sense that's true. IQ peaks at around 16. But all the processing capacity in the world doesn't compensate for an inadequate data base. Recognizing things is a lot faster and more accurate than figuring them out.
and building up that kind of database takes years.

There really is a big difference between "I know how to do this," and "I've done this before."

I won't tell you to be more patient with Life, 'cuz that would be like spitting on a forest fire. But, try to be more patient with yourself. Anyone who can write the way you do has a future. Give it some time to show up.

It would also be a good idea to diversify your interests. Learn and experience as much as you can in as many areas as you can. It will come in useful later.

And, it builds good habits for later in Life. Way too many men, and I was one of them, wake up one morning in the Cardiac Wing, slap themselves in the forehead and say, "A LIFE! I forgot to have a LIFE!" Don't let that happen to you.

Just keep telling yourself that what you're going through is normal and that most people survive it. You have too good a mind to lose.

Above all. don't let anyone make you read Sylvia Plath's poetry. That stuff'll make you suicidal for sure.

Answer 2

There isn't really any such thing as a 'normal 18 year old' - everyone's different. What most people have (particularly around that age) is a strong desire to conform, hence fashions, 'peer pressure', gangs etc are common features. Other people are more rebellious or independent.

What many people don't admit, regardless of what type of person they are, is that EVERYONE has insecurities, whether they're about how they look, whether they're odd in some way, whether the person (or people) they like, likes them - these things are absolutely normal and again often reach a peak during teenage years. (WOW - how condescending do I sound?!?).

You ask for 'guesses on what the problem is' - but what exactly do you have a problem with? It sounds like you mainly worry that you're 'different' to other people your age. It may just be that you're more mature than your peers. If so, it should be possible to find people with a way of looking at the world more similar to your own; if you want to 'improve the world', why not join an environmental group, for example?

Wanting everything to happen now is trickier. I'd guess this might be more to do with impatience to get on with being an adult. Belive me, there are pros and cons!

The best way to achieve what you want to achieve in the future is to make small steps. Have you got hobbies, or things that interest you deeply? Are you planning on continuing your education? Do you intend to go travelling? All of these things might help you learn about yourself, and decide what direction you'd like to go in.

Good luck - and don;t forget me when you're a success!

Answer 3

It might be the environment in which you were raised. Are your parents, family, siblings also ambitious? Is this a trait that is highly valued by the people around you? Ambition isn't necessarily a problem, but it really is important to have fun.

Everyone wants "everything to happen for [them] NOW," that's not too unusual. However, the fact is that it just doesn't work that way. Life is a process. Consider this: If you got everything you want right now, what would you do with the rest of your life? -- Probably come up with more wants!

Try to embrace the moment, instead of living so much in the future. All your decisions and actions happen in the present, so that's where you have the most impact. If you have an overriding goal, try to make your actions stay in sync with that goal; but remember you can't make the future come any faster. Be ready to act when the opportunity presents itself.

Finally, don't be too concerned about whether your behavior is "normal." If you're unhappy about it, pay attention and change the things that are making you feel that way. But if you're happy, why change?

Answer 4

You have such wonderful comments on your question...I wasn't going to answer, but I had some thing to add. I am and was "different" then my peers as far back as I can remeber. I was never interested,and still am not in the things my peers cared about. I cared about the future, and was pretty lonely through school because of it...thought I always had plenty of friends. There is nothing wrong with you, your just mature. School seperates you into age groups....and this seperation is what you are feeling. Don't fret, your 18, your either just graduated, or you are getting ready to ( I assume). The world outside of grade and high school will put you into a place you will feel better in. When you work, you work with people of all ages, when you go to collage, you will be with people of different ages. You will find people with your interests. You are actually at an advantage over those who have become interested in just their own age group, since life after graduation will not keep you seperated from people of your maturity.

Don't wory about age any more, I'm 26, and one of my best friends is 45, another is 36, another is 26, my husband is 40. I am balanced, happy, and no longer feel alone because I am not forced into being with an age group that I am not compatable with.

It's not normal behavior for some one your age, but that doesn't mean that something is wrong about you...in fact it's all rite. You are wonderful, and will have success as long as you balieve in yourself. Don't cloud your dreams with doubts about being normal. It is unecessary now, and in your future. No one is normal...there is no normal, and you will see this more and more as life goes on. And don't forget in your thoughts of the future to stop and smell the roses along the way. You will find a middle ground to stand on, you will never let go of planning for the future(that is something that is special and good about you), but you will also look back on the past, and enjoy the present. Enjoy the journey, the older you get, the faster the years fly by; so don't hurry through life, take time to enjoy it... you have one life to live. No matter what you will live a life to be proud of...and already do!

Answer 5

I really don't think you have a problem at all. For one you are very unique and special to have the kind of thoughts you do and extremely mature for your age. I know it would be silly of me to tell you not to worry but you wouldn't listen or couldn't so the very first thing I would say to you is simply to accept yourself and love yourself exactly for who you are. As for meeting someone who has the same ambitions, I think in fact that you are expecting a little too much from the young men of your age group. The facts are that boys are far less mature than women at this age. Notice, I said boys. The best thing I can tell you is to be the best you can whatever your station in life, reach out to help people who you see need your help, even if it is simply to give someone a helpful answer in YA, but also find some balance in your life by having some fun. It doesn't have to be wild and crazy fun but something that you truly enjoy, that makes you happy when you are doing it. Good luck. After reading so many distasteful questions here on Yahoo, it is a pleasure to read and answer a question like yours.

Answer 6

This can be a difficult age for teenagers. I have raised 4 of them and 1 gave me the run of my life. I went through a lot of the same emotions that you are having, and it was not pleasant and was very hard on our family. My advice to you is whatever plan you follow, love her. I still do not know if I did the exact right things, but I did all I could to keep my love for her alive so that our bond would be strong in the coming years. She is now 25 and the mother of two cute girls and I am so happy that we are close. She is not an active member of the church, but is a good person and has a good husband. I am so happy for this every day and if it never gets any better than this, I am grateful. The outcome could have been so much worse. Have a little talk to her about parents being people, too. I think kids hold us on such a pedestal that when we fall(your husbands depression) they just can't handle it. When they realize that people of importance are fallible, it will go a long way toward stabilizing her emotions about her dad who really needs her support right now. Good luck, I know tough times could be ahead.

Answer 7

You are seeing too far than your eyes can reach.It's great having dreams,but its best if you first fulfil those dreams that you had before.You can only be fruitful if you learn to live each day at a time.Remember what you do today is what determines your future.If you work hard today,then tommorrow wont be a problem.A journey is started by a step & to reach your destiny move from one step to another with determination & it'll surprise you how fast you get there.Keep trying but don't be anxious about tommorrow for you never know what it'll bring.

Answer 8

^Your 18, part of you feels like an adult and part of you still feels like a child. It's good to have goals, but you sound scatted,for goals to be achieved you have to know what they are, and write them down, you obviously don't have any set goals yet and that's okay.

You should take an aptitude test and see what your strengths, likes and dislikes are, seeing a guidance counselor wouldn't hurt either.

If you knew what your goals were you wouldn't be feeling like this, and I will repeat your 18 and that's okay,stop beating yourself up. I hope this helps.

Answer 9

All I can tell you is stop worrying you are young don't waste time worrying about things you have no control over. Instead just do your best. Be patient I know it can be hard to wait for what you want but sometimes it is better to wait as if you rush something it can very often blow up in your face.

Answer 10

You could have anxiety. Or maybe your pressured by your surroundings. I have anxiety and I'm always over concerned for my bills. My life will be replayed for hours in my head when I'm trying to go to sleep. You shouldn't be so worried at your age, although you should shoot for your goals.