My Friend of 7 years,asked my help to pick out an outfit for her partner's broth's wedding.. I have 3children & single mum,also full time student at university, have had resits & exams,after few cancelations,we set date for this morning.
As she lives 45 mins by bus, I laeve buy 2pm to pick up my kids frm school..time was arranged for 10am...(confirmed night before) I phoned her 9am she was still in bed, Igot little upset and said she needs to take more responsibilty as I hav lots on,& she knew she had to be with me by 10am..I said well meet at 10.30@ mall,she agreed, I further text her & 2 say giv urself till 11am didnt want her to get stressed.. she phones me 9.30 in a screaming fit and accusses me of a bad friend and am behavin like its chore for me and that friends dont put restrictions, also says: she says, wanted it to be a leisurely day out coffee shop,etc, she was hysterically cryin and threw phone, heard her say,cancel day, her b/frnd was comin wid us also.
2007-07-09 06:01:58 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Girlfriend needs to grow up quick! She has to understand when you have a family that comes first before friends. If she is getting married she better start thinking about someone other than herself! When thinks calm down you can talk to her or send her an email spelling it out for her how it is.If she cannot understand then you need to move on a bit til she grows up. She may not even grow up til she has her own child.
2007-07-09 06:07:58 · answer #1 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're not wrong, but you could have handled it better. Surely you know from the past that she is a little lackadaisical when it comes to time and is also quite sensitive to criticism. It's a good practice in general to delay calling someone you are upset with long enough to calm yourself and plan the call carefully so as not to make things worse.
At the same time, it is obvious that your friend has issues of her own that you re probably not equipped to help her with. Since she will react similarly if you suggest that she seek the professional help she seems to need, the only option left if to be very patient with her foibles.
2007-07-09 06:15:38 · answer #2 · answered by nightserf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a friend who does these things to you. Even if she doesn't have anything else to do, clearly you have, and she needs to respect that.
Tell her that you have X number of minutes free, and you must meet on time, or you can't go. Period. For example, your meeting was scheduled for 10 AM. At 9 AM, call, ask if she's still firm with the 10 AM. If she can't do that, tell her, "Well, sorry, then. Another day, perhaps." And hang up.
2007-07-09 08:52:44 · answer #3 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saying "with friends like that who need enemies" comes into mind. Your friend does not deserve such a thoughtful friend as you. But I suppose 7 years does count for something, so you must just put it down to stress about the wedding. But please don't let yourself be treated like this on a regular basis. You are doing so well with your life under difficult circumstances and you deserve more consideration when you are putting yourself out for a friend.
2007-07-09 06:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by Normsgirll 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both in the wrong. Yes, she should have shown more respect and consideration for your difficult schedule, and definitely shouldn't have screamed at you....but you should have shown more sensitivity to her obvious stress and a little more graciousness in agreeing to do the favor, instead of lecturing her like she's a stupid child.
Sorry, I know it sounds harsh, but always examine where you might have gone wrong, and be willing to admit and apologize for that if you want others to do the same.
2007-07-09 06:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your story is kind of hard to follow the way it is written - but it sounds like your friend is high maintenance and doesn't understand that you have obligations in your life beyond going shopping and getting coffee. Your friend was rude to be late and I don't think you are in the wrong. But still, you might want to call your friend and work things out, b/c it doesn't sound like it is worth losing a friend over!
2007-07-09 06:06:47 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she is more at fault but you sounded kinda bossy with the text'd, next time tell the person you can be there by this time and if that doesnt work then you cannot help them, this will keep them from getting all emotional, she needs to grow up,, she should have been responsible enough to be on her way when she said she was going to be,
2007-07-09 06:06:14 · answer #7 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just give it some time, then phone for a chat if you are bothered about it. If not then get on with your life and leave this friendship behind, plenty of new friends out there. You sound like you have got yourself together pretty good. don't let any one drag you down. friends don't blackmail or guilt trip each other. They understand.
2007-07-09 07:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by starlight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way are you at uni with that poor english.
Im sorry but i dont actually understand what was happening.
you get on the bus at 10 to meet her at 11 at her house which only takes 45 mins, so u get there at 10.45
you phone her at 9 and shes in bed.
i think you went a bit over the top.
2007-07-09 06:08:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she was just stressed out because of something totally unrelated to you. I say wait a few days then call her back, if she still thinks youre in the wrong then distance yourself from her b/c she doesnt sound liek a great friend.
2007-07-09 06:05:27 · answer #10 · answered by music_is_life 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋