marriage choice ?

Question

if you had to make a choice ?

do u marry the person u love and doesnt love you back ?

or the person who loves u but u dnt love then ?

and why ?

Answer 1

if you aren't both in love with each other, why would you get married?

Answer 2

This is an age-old question.

One of the best (though slightly oblique) expressions of this truism is a quote from George Bernard Shaw:
"The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me."

So many (most?) people approach romance from the side of "going for" the person they think they "love" without much regard for whether the partner returns the same level/type of affection. I have done that, myself.

After being deeply burned, I tended to try to restrict myself to the latter case - picking from among women who I thought loved me more than I loved them. I guess I told myself that I was a good enough person that if I made a commitment, that I could make it work. Often, I found that it takes more than just a decision on my part. But when it came to making the big decisions on whether to get (or stay) involved, I always had to have more than just a modicum of affection/love for the person. And, by-and-large, I have been successful in that general course. My marriage has lasted 19 years and has grown stronger (not perfect, mind you) over the years. While I have ben atttracted to others, occassionally over the years, I have never been really tempted to violate (or even sully) my marriage vows.

The one risk in the latter course is that your partner may (will?) come to understand the difference in your feelings toward them, from their feelings toward you, and MIGHT feel cheated somehow.

But as long as you continue to act loving toward them, you might be surprised at the results, even to the point where, like Tevye's wife (Golda?) in "Fiddler On the Roof" where she acknowledges that "maybe I do" in answer to his song question "Do You Love Me?"

Presumably, when you say "love them" you DO have SOME romantic feelings for them, even if you won't quite call it Love.

Answer 3

neither.. among the millions of people in the world..there is someone out there who will love you and you love them back!

we have the will to make our own decisions in life. might as well make it the best one! either way don't marry either one! It would be doomed after 4 years for the one who doesn't marry you..and you would probably last 10years for the one you don't love... just a hunch!

Answer 4

If both people are not in love, what is the point of getting married?

Answer 5

Don't marry anyone who doesn't love you and don't marry anyone you don't love! It shouldn't be an option. It will not work if both people don't love each other. I was in a marriage where he loved me but I didn't love him and I wasn't happy and it ended in divorce.

Answer 6

The best part about a choice is that it is not limited to your restrictions. The obvious and correct answer is to not get married at all.

Answer 7

i can't image being with someone that i don't love & to make it worst he don't love me back
hummm i would choice the person that love me of course but that is if hes handsome,

Answer 8

I wouldn't marry either one. It is better to be alone than go through the pain of either one. Life is too short for that kind of agony.

Answer 9

you marry neither, you have to be in a relationship where you both love and respect each other or its not going to work...

Answer 10

you don't ever compromise yourself. wait til you find the person you love and make sure they love you back.