How do you deal with NEGATIVE people in your life who have to be in your life?

Question

i can't just ignore them! they have to be in my life! they are anxious and stressful and short-fused! How can I effectively and calmly keep MY PEACE around them?

Answer 1

Often when my brother (whom I do love, but he is a crabby, crabby, negative ah , alot) I act like I don't hear him or ask him to repeat what he said (like I can not hear well)in a really nice way, like Pardon? or I'm sorry I didn't hear what you said. Or I answer his negative remarks with a "oh, really?wow" or comments that lead the conversation to a stop. I go on about my merry way with other people (say its a family thing) and I will be polite, but basically ignore him, till it is time for him to go, then I kiss him and say thanks for coming. It was a nice time. If I don't engage in what they are talking about or doing, they have no reason to act crummy (at least not with me). If they really get to you, go into the bathroom and settle down or leave. Spend as much time as you can with others and read, etc. Don't let them get to you. You deserve the best and remember that! Belinda

Answer 2

I disagree with the poster who stated that you should tell them how the negativity is affecting you personally. Sometimes this gives that person an upper hand and will only increase the negativity directed towards you. If this is something that is noticed by others and affects not only you, maybe a group intervention would work, although I doubt it. Most negative people use such confrontation as a reason for them to be negative. I tell my children, you don't have to like everyone, but sometimes you have to interact with them. If the negativity is affecting you and interferring with what you need to do in your daily walk, just limit your contact. Simple yes and no's will suffice, no long drawn out conversations. Negativity is a form of psychic vampirism and can drain you dry if you let it.

Answer 3

It's enough even if we & the negative people have any single characters(mannerism) common with. If we can't just ignore them due to some reasons, We need not worry because the common characteristics will drive the relationship (say both likes funny movies) between us & them(We call it has thought frequency - if more manners are matching frequency is very high). See not everyone in the world can be same. First of all we should learn to love the different characters around us, it's really interesting that not everyone is alike

Answer 4

Well if you don't find a way to distant yourself then you will end up negative and bitter as well. Why don't you try to find positive people to be around or if necessary find somewhere to go where these negatives won't be. Maybe after school activities (not sure how old you are) or go to the mall, a movie, library. Just try to keep the negativity out the best you can. If you *have* to be around them,, then why not set your boundaries with them. Tell them you don't want to hear negative things everytime they are near you and let them know if they continue around you then you just won't talk to them unless they have something nice to say. Set boundaries that is really all you can do.

Answer 5

You do exactly that. Keep your cool and your peace. Any situation that comes up, whether in your favor or not, you deal with it calmly, go about your business, and solve the problem. Even if that problem barely affects you, if you take it and solve it, your life will be so much easier. Show them that nothing is impossible for you. Show them you can handle it with an ease and grace they have never seen. Don't let anything they say sway you or make you mad. Just do your thing and let it go. At worst, it will make them so mad they'll just leave you alone. At best, they'll ask how you do it and you can show them the light!

Answer 6

I figured that it's complecated. I always have to deal with negetive people in my life. So what i do is just be really strong with my positivity. Some people have a special power of spreading fear and weakness by their negetivity, they are best to be ignored. If u can't ignore them, than just laught at their negativity in your head. It will make things much easier. Also one thing shouldn't be forgotten that sometimes it's good to think about the darker side, it keeps you down to earth which is a good thing. You can listen to what they are trying to say and think what's your judgement on that thought. It can make a realistic approach to your thoughts and energy. But don't over do it, that can make you negative. The best trick is just laugh at them silently!

Answer 7

Just try to emotionally distance yourself slightly from the situation. Think practically, remind yourself that x is just one part of this person and try to work round it and make allowances as you would if they told really bad jokes or always wanted to talk about themselves. If you recognise that it is a personality trait and watch out for it then you will hopefully find that you are able to not let it touch you and maybe even regard it as an amusing personality quirk that you can just roll your eyes about and move on from.

In fact, why not turn it into a private game, see if you can outweigh their annoying negativity with your own annoying chirpy positivity! Everytime they are negative, be extra positive, if you annoy them, all to the better, lol.
Good luck!

Answer 8

Instead of stressing about and on them, you need to use a subtler kind of carrot and stick. You can laugh off their constant dismal and negative outlook in a cheerful way (providing an example of a lighter outlook), and at the same time make a bit of fun of them, again cheerfully, by calling them silly and a bit too negative. Try to always make it sound in fun. If they are young enough, they may still be able to change their outlook with a little subtle push-and-pull.

If it doesn't help, whatever you do, don't let yourself get pulled into their way of thinking.

Answer 9

Even though these people are in your life you can try to avoid them or if that doesn't work just ignore them. When someone is being this way, take a deep breath and focus on it. That way you will not be affected by them. Also, you can be happy that you aren't like them.

Another way to deal is to imagine yourself in their shoes. Do they have a reason to be negative? They might just need someone to talk to and to act like they care about them. It could change their negative demeanor.

Answer 10

The best thing to do would be to tell them straight up that their negativity really gets you down, and that you wold prefer not to be around it. Civil conversations with people can go a long way... If this does not work, then just try to distance yourself from them as much as possible.