my husband earns a lot more than me and I contribute to the household relative to my salary, so I technically live beyond my means as it wouldn't be practical for me to eat economy beans on toast while cooking him fancy dinners, or whatever. But now he wants to trade in my old Renault Clio so he can buy a nippy little convertable. He's got a jag estate, but I don't want to have my car bought for me, and would feel uncomfortable driving it to a place of work where people are on much smaller salaries- I'ld be embarrassed- should I let him have what he wants?
2007-07-09 05:16:17 · 27 answers · asked by emily_jane2379 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
eerr.....you're married right? If you are, why are you having a mindset of a single woman? Why do you deliberately separate yourself from him? I thought marriage means 'us' and 'we'. Why all the 'me' and 'mine'?
Anyway, sounds to me you're really lucky to have such a loving and generous husband. One like him is really hard to find. Plus both of you put in equal monetary contribution with regards to your earnings. No problems there.
Have you ever wondered that maybe he just want you to be happy? Buy something for the wife he loves? However, if it makes you uncomfortable, why don't you tell him how you feel. Hopefully come to a compromise? I'm sure it will work out.
Cheer up and be happy.
2007-07-09 06:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by Borneo Babe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What he wants is to make you happy, whats the harm in that. You are married so I'm struggling to understand why you are separating each others worth in the relationship. Marriage means two people have decided to combine there riches and life experiences together.
You both have important roles to play in your marriage and should be 50/50 all the way, unless he is making you feel inadequate I don't see why you would make it an issue.
He's not talking about buying a car for you, he wants you to have a sporty number, for you out of the MARITAL funds, and if we constantly feared how spending are hard earned cash would make everyone feel bad cause they couldn't buy the same, we'd all have large saving accounts and miserable lives.
Relax and take some comfort in the fact your husband thinks you're worthy of such a nice gesture, and don't be in a marriage with a single persons mindset, your leaving yourself open to feelings of inadequacy.
2007-07-09 05:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you feel that a part of your independence will be taken away from you. You don't want to feel like you live well because of him, you want to be proud of your old renault, because you paid for it.
There's nothing wrong with how you feel.
That old car isn't going to bring in much on a trade-in. So why doesn't he let you keep it and also buy the convertible? If you can't afford to keep the renault too, then it sounds like the convertible is out of your financial zone anyway.
Is there room enough for three cars?
2007-07-09 05:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could offer an alternative. Look around and find a nice, new car you like and suggest that. It could be something like a Camery or something to that nature so you would have a reliable, nice car without going too far over board. Just explain that you do not care for the whatever he has picked out, and you would love to have such and such instead. Thank him for wanting you to have nice things, and let him see you are excited about getting a new car. It just does not need to be extravagent.
2007-07-09 05:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apparently he's wanting to do something nice for you because you serve something nice. If you're uncomfortable driving a sporty car; tell him. Maybe he'll compromise and buy you something more practical and nice. Besides, why do you care what other people think? If my husband bought me a convertible, I'd be showing it off to everyone.
2007-07-09 05:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Tell him how much you appreciate his generous offer, but you'd be much happier with your Clio. Tell him you'd worry about a new car getting damaged, especially as all the other cars at work are a bit tatty already. He only wants the convertable so's HE can drive it. Be warned - it'll never really be yours. Stick to your guns.
2007-07-09 05:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by proud walker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Because then you wouldn't be True to your self; It wouldn't be fair for him. You must keep the lines of communication open and express how you feel. If you do not he will assume that getting the new car is what you want.
Also, by constantly sharing your concerns, thought, fears it demonstrates to him that you are capable of deciding for your self on the things you do and don't want.
Don't allow him to make all the decision on matters that concerns your happiness
2007-07-09 05:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by jamesrichmond28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres this lady at my work whose husband recently bought her a Land Rover. People in her department definitely dont make that kind of scratch..Im not even a girl and I hear people talking behind her back...Offices are a lot like High School..its sad.
Get a new but modest car...why not?
2007-07-09 05:23:30 · answer #8 · answered by Mergler 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to tell him how you feel and perhaps he would understand. Boy's toys should have some limits. As for living over your means, that is what alimony is for. You can't expect a spouse with little or no income shop at the second hand store while the larger income spouse gets hand tailored suits.
2007-07-09 05:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by Willie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have so much guilt for accepting nice things from your husband. You are going to create unnecessary drama in your relationship. Take the car, and girl be proud of having a husband who wants to take care of you.
2007-07-09 06:05:29 · answer #10 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋