She recently told me she thought he was cute, and I recently found out he had the hots for another girl and ended up in couseling with his wife. I've noticed her checking him out at family sporting events. My wife tends to be a people watcher and says she does not have the hots for him. Should I be concerned she has an interest? Is attraction OK as long as its contained? I don't want to be paranoid and keep her in a plastic bubble. Your thoughts?
2007-07-09 04:20:29 · 7 answers · asked by Jake 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As he from your sources, has "strayed before" it is not a leap think he might "stray again" and not a good idea to "get to know the other couple better" if you already realize something is amiss..trust you gut instincts.
If you want to stay in the marriage, get into counseling or get involved with other couples with the same interests that you both have, be it bowling, dancing, board games, etc. who are like minded and looking for companionship, not to possibly swing with someone elses spouse.
2007-07-09 04:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're afraid that she doesn't just like him, but has an infatuation.
Well, she was open and said he was cute. If she was having a lot of secret fantasies about the guy sexually, I doubt she would be telling you that he is cute, or telling you anything, she would keep her mouth shut out of guilt.
I think she likes him. Nothing wrong with that. We do like other people of the opposite gender after we marry. It's not threatening unless you notice her obsessing over the guy. Don't worry about it, if she obsesses over him at some point in the future, you will know it, you don't need to worry about it beforehand.
Then, if that happens in your future, then you talk about it openly with her.
But don't spend your time worrying about "what if's" That's the path to paranoia.
Certainly there's a woman or two out there that you admire besides your wife. Should she feel threatened? Not unless you are mentally having sex with those women.
2007-07-09 11:38:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would express your concerns with your wife without accusing her of doing anything wrong. It might help to point out that though she is just being friendly, that the couple has been in counceling and it may cause more harm than good. I think you can be friendly without being overly involved. And finally, yes, attraction is normal and can be used in a positive way in your own relationship if she isn't made to feel like she's wrong or bad for her thoughts.
2007-07-09 11:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by BeenThereDoneThat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After watching him does she jump on you in bed? Maybe she's imagining her with him while you do it.
I'd be careful, if she had means, motive and opportunity the deed might go down (as well as her).
2007-07-09 12:01:48 · answer #4 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you trust her then I wouldn't worry about it. If you feel you can't trust her then I'd spy on her.
2007-07-09 11:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with your first impression!
2007-07-09 11:46:27 · answer #6 · answered by Geoff 62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be attracted to people is ok its when you act on it that its not...............only you know your wife well enough to honestly asnwer this question
2007-07-09 11:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by mmedina96 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋