I know some people feel differently about this subject, but I wanted some opinions. Do you think it's inappropriate for someone to contact their ex after many years when you know they're happily married?
2007-07-09 03:27:04 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
May S - I agree whole heartedly...my husband got an email from an old flame. I was just wondering how other people felt about.
2007-07-09 03:45:48 · update #1
yes it is totally wrong. makes you look like you never got over them. even if you didnt do you want to go crawling back.
2007-07-09 03:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by Yes I am here!! 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I have thought of this question myself! My first love broke up with me 12 years ago! If I see him out and about I still get butterflies! Even though I am happily married with a gorgeous daughter. I don't have feelings for my ex, but I will always love him for the friendship we had (We dated for 1 and half years, never slept together, were only 16. Old these days though!) I thought of getting in contact with him to be a friend, but why would I risk or even remotely jepodise my marriage if feelings were to arrise? I suppose it is also a chapter in your past. Why go back there? If my husband had a call from an ex flame 'to catch up' I wouldn't want him too. Ex is ex is ex, move on.
2007-07-09 03:42:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be dangerous. It depends on what your true intentions are. Do you truly want to see how the person is doing with everything in the conversation remaining completely innocent. Or do you have an alterior motive because you wonder what could have been or you are having some problems.
I am married and an old flame went out her way to contact me. My wife is aware and it took some work but I had to reassure her that the conversation was innocent. I personally would not go out of my way to do this because it's just not worth the hassle, risk, temptation, or aggrevation from your partner. Every situation is different though. hope this helped.
2007-07-09 03:35:55 · answer #3 · answered by Renaisannce Man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
~~*~~ I think it has a lot to do with the way the relationship was. If it ended because it just didn't work then there should be no harm. If it was more serious, then it would be less appropriate. Since all relationships are different, it's difficult to say if it is always ok or not. However, if your spouse has a problem with it, sever contact because the spouses feelings need to come first. They are the here and now and the chance for any relationship with the ex has passed by this point! That's just how I see it.
2007-07-09 03:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by ionwheels03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that we choose to be married for a reason. It shouldn't be that we choose this person for a while until we find some one else. That's the wrong way of thinking. Old flames (exe's) are exes for a reason. Our husbands/wifes should be forever, till death do they part. That is the problem in this world. This world doesn't take marriage seriously. Why, to many people, is it fun to get married and they don't give up on that idea, but it's never fun to put effort and work on their marriage. They just want to give it up cause it ain't working for them at the time? So, someone should let those feelings go and focus on who their with, and think of who they chose and who chose them to be married...............
2007-07-09 03:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by Ericka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are an old flame there is a reason why. What kind of contact? An old flame of my husband contacted him to tell him about something that had happened to a mutual friend. My husbands friend did not know how to reach him. I knew all about it and had no problem. While there are reasons to contact an ex it is not appropriate if it is just to try to rekindle the flame.
2007-07-09 03:35:16 · answer #6 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is not necessarily wrong, but it could spark some problems in the current relationships. My ex husband thought that it would be awesome to reunite with some old friends from High School.....well it went a little farther than that and he ended up hooking up with one of his old flames that was happily married (or so we all thought) and left our relationship for her. I say just let the past be the past and instead of trying to meet up with old buddies, go out and make new friends!!
2007-07-09 03:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wrong to do that. My husbands ex, not just girlfriend but fiance, wanted to get back into his life. I was not happy at all. These two had a very intimate past and I wouldn't have been comfortable for them to renew old acquantiances. I told him that she was his past and I'm his present and future, we should just leave it that way. If you are comfortable with the idea and that secure as a wife, then go for it. Or if you are the girlfriend, maybe you should leave well enough alone, just in case.
2007-07-09 03:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An ex-bf from 15 years ago, emails me from time to time, telling me how "unhappy" he is, how he "made a mistake" by letting me go, how he should be married to me and not her, how happt and different his life would be with me and not her etc.l etc. etc.
Blah, blah. blah.... I can read through that BS and I know all he wants is to get me on the sack. I always ignore his emails and cries for attention. I don;t care! That's his wife's problem and not mine and I'm not entretaining his BS because I'm a woman of morals and ethic standards.
Good luck
2007-07-09 03:39:11 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely inappropriate. My feeling about it is they possibly want to start up the relationship again and want o find out how "happy" the ex is. If they just want to say "Hi", they can to that the the High School reunion.
2007-07-09 03:37:24 · answer #10 · answered by Lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. I think it is fine to contact a person from your past. I have zero feelings for any of my past boyfriends but they were friends. I have said hi to them....been a while now but they are happy with their other and I couldn't be more in love with my husband than I am right now. So I assume those who see it as being a big deal is either A. Jealous B. Still in love with their past loves or C. Are to ashamed to admit that it didn't work out.
Either way....you can say hi just to say hi...no strings attached.
2007-07-09 03:32:22 · answer #11 · answered by Dream V 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋