Married and receiving emails from old flames?

Question

My husband and I share a MySpace account. He recently received an email from an 'old flame' from over 10 years ago. At first he lied to me about who she was (claiming he didn't want me to think there was anything to worry about) But after the truth came out, he told me he has no interest in communicating with her, they only went out a few weeks and he had no idea why she'd email him after 10 years of not talking. As his wife, do I have the right to respectfully email her and ask her why she felt the need to email my husband? How do you even ask that respectfully? I have no intention of insulting her or making accusations but being a woman myself, I can't imagine sending an email to a boyfriend I had 10 years ago, especially if I knew he was married. Would you email her? If so, what would you say?

Answer 1

you should tell ur husband to email her and ask and let you read

Answer 2

If you share a myspace. .then she knows you are two are married. Be friendly. Don't consider it a threat.

Your husband may be flattered but if your marriage is stable then it is a temptation and nothing more.

Try to be easy about it. Old flames are just curious. I am sure they had some sort of fling before...if it was before you were married, so what? He didn't cheat.

More than a couple emails or if he isn't including you in the conversations should be concerning. Tell him to stop...but it is him that is the problem, not her.

Temptations are everywhere. You are just seeing this one.

Ask yourself if you have a stable marriage.

Answer 3

You didn't mention what the old flame had mentioned in her email. Perhaps it was just genuinely to keep in touch with no hidden agenda. She could be in sales and just wanted to maintain her contacts.

Your focus should actually be your husband and not the woman. If your husband's conscience was clear and he didn't have anything to hide, there was no need to lie to you initially. True, he did come clean later but that could have been prompted by the realisation that you shared the MySpace account and you would find out the truth eventually.

Forget the woman. Talk to husband to find out his real thoughts and take this opportunity to establish ground rules about ex-es.

Answer 4

Being a wife gave you all the rights to do the right things, and for this woman to write your husband is a bit odd but your husband finally told you the truth. Yes you may write her but like what others says let your husband do it,in front of you so that way he can prove to you that it was past nothing less.
Just talk to him and don't hide anything that bothers you, don't do what he did by not telling you, be more class than him. Remember you are the wife and that means everything needs to be open...............

Answer 5

Quote "he's likewise been staying out all hours of the night along with his acquaintances, without even a phonecall or textual content fabric message to assert whilst he would be lower back. Or, he sends me a message to assert he would be lower back in a million/2 an hour, and then comes abode 6 hours later. in the start i became hesitant to assert something because of the fact i assumed it became purely a one off in spite of the undeniable fact that this is exchange right into a daily element. i'm left on my own at night and paintings in the time of the day on an identical time as he spends the day in mattress. He does little or no interior the flat and that i paintings 2 jobs yet sense i'm nagging him if I ask him to do his honest share, or a minimum of this is how he makes it look." crimson FLAGS - a million. He does not admire you. 2. he's a liar. 3. indicators of cheating with yet another woman. 4.he's utilising you. 5. he's failing to furnish, preserve and love you like a husband could desire to. circulate away and for gawds sakes don't have a new child with this guy.

Answer 6

this same thing happened to me, these relationships only lasted about 2 months and ended 15 years ago, we were friends for 3-5 years after, i moved out of state and have been gone for 10 years and my wife still gets defensive about me talking to them, like you all she sees is the 2 month relationship and just can not understand that its dead and over she refuses to acknowledge the 3-5 year friendship after the relationship, there is nothing going on (in my case), this is like saying i cant reminisce about the crazy stuff i did in my teenage years with an old friend, you can send her an email and risk looking like an insecure jealous wife, or you can trust your husband which is what relationships are all about, if you really believe your man is only faithful because you keep him on a tight leash then whats the point?

Answer 7

Neither of you should email her yet. I would wait and see if she continues trying to contact your husband. If she does keep emailing and they are getting "too personal" then I'd have him email and say "great to hear from you, but Im happily married, and dont want to hear from you."

I think you should wait b/c you never know, it could be harmless and just friends. I am happily married and I still email back and forth (maybe once every 2-3 months) just to catch up with my ex from HS. Hes married too and we know that we're just friends. Nothing more. You never know, maybe shes just doing the same.

Dont get me wrong, if she is trying to get to your husband, definitely put the KABAM on that!

Answer 8

First, I would tell your husband that you are not happy about it and would appreciate it if she makes no further contact. He should not have tried to hide it from you. Just keep an eye on the MySpace account and see if she tries to make contact again. If she does, your husband is not telling her where her place is and is disrespecting you.

Answer 9

You should be able to trust your husband. It is possible that she just wanted to see how an old friend was doing. Both my fiance and I have ex's on our myspace accounts. It's a fun way of communicating with people you haven't seen in a long time. Don't worry.

Answer 10

I think you should leave it up to your husband to email her and tell her that he's happily married, etc... You would only embarass your husband and yourself if you did it. Unless of course she continues to email him after he tells her that he's married, etc.. Then, you should email her. Perhaps she's just wondering how he's doing and has no intentions of trying to break up your marriage. It's really your husband's place to let her know he does not wish to communicate with her.