Can you now live with the guilt?
If you haven't cheated then you can't really answer my question.
I cheated and want to know how other have dealt with it - PS I'm not going to do it again but hell it's in the past now and I'm certain that my wife wouldn't want to know.
2007-07-09 02:27:59 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It wasn't worth it and we went through a really rough patch. I did it to get back at her cause I thought she was set against me - Very complicated - her parents really!!
I feel guilty and it wasn't worth it but as I said what's the point in going over it? It's done now
2007-07-09 02:34:25 · update #1
SWEETIE - Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.....
She's not going to find out - there's no way she can, I was on holiday with my mates and they don't even know - the girl is from Sweden and doesn't even as much as know my name so it's highly unlikley.
Ur hubby must have some super duper manjuice!!!
2007-07-09 02:43:09 · update #2
Don't feel guilty.Past is past so be honest from now.
2007-07-09 02:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by mmrriad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kind of amazed at how judgemental some of these answers are.
While I do believe that sometimes cheating can be a one time thing, it is primarily an indicator that something is really wrong. You're not getting something that you need from the relationship, or else you probably wouldn't have acted on it in the first place.
That however, is neither here nor there. I've cheated (in a previous relationship, when I was very young), and I have to say, it was not worth it. Granted, the relationship wasn't working out. I knew that before I did it, and I knew it after I did it. I've also been cheated on. Let me just say this...in the instance where I did it, I should have been woman enough to end the relationship when I knew it wasn't working. When I was cheated on...I'm glad he told me, because that really helped me get moving into the next phase of my life.
2007-07-09 05:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was it worth it? Only you can answer that. Most people would say hell yeah it was worth it. It really depends on why you cheated (though there is no excuse) I cheated and at the time thought it was worth it. Would I cheat now no. I guess things change when you grow up. How do I live with the guilt.? I figure it isn't worth hurting my husband after all these years. Yes, I have been tempted to tell him but, I leave it in my past and feel any guilt I do feel is the price I have to pay for what I did.
2007-07-09 02:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand why people say that telling your spouse that you have cheated would be too damaging now that it is over and you feel that it wasn't worth it in the end, deciding instead that what you have is better than what you chased in lust.
But, I think that a real marriage is going to be completely honest at some point. I think my ex husband and I both cheated on eachother at the same time in our marriage, and I think if we had come clean to eachother that marriage might have survived.
Harboring a secret forever is never going to bring you closer to someone. Confessing and accepting that people make mistakes and learn from them is human, and would strengthen a healthy marriage. The problem is that too many marriages are already hanging on a string, and the confession is the straw that breaks the camel's back, as the saying goes.
2007-07-09 02:42:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely was worth it while I was in the middle of doing it, but the aftermath was definitely not worth it. Especially since I really did love the girl. How did I deal with it? Well I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years, not b/c I haven't had ample amount of chances, but rather I took the first two years of college to take a good look at myself, my mistakes in the past, and how I could become a better person. Learn how to never cheat again. And today I'm a changed man, better than I was, and I'm happy the way I turned out.
2007-07-09 02:31:56 · answer #5 · answered by tokarcjm 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well I have cheated before, and the only way that I got busted was the guilt inside me built up so much that I ended up telling my partner.....needless to say that was a mistake. He told me that he would have rather not known. We are still together but things are really not like they were before and every time we get into an argument he uses that to throw in my face!! I say if you know that she wouldnt want to know and you are sure that it would never happen again and there is no way that she would ever find out, then dont say anything and continue as you are. If you do tell her it could jepordize your entire relationship!!
2007-07-09 02:34:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you so certain that your wife wouldn't want to know that she's living with a man that thought the way to fix a problem is to cheat on her? The only way to get rid of the guilt is tell her. I wouldn't want to know I love a may who thought so little of me to have an affair and then lie about it. The guilt is going to eat at you and then she's going to see somethings going on with you. Just because you don't tell her, that doesn't mean she can't find out. Lies have a way of coming to the surface, and the longer it is for her to find out, the worse it's going to be. I'd rather find out from my husband than to find out I'm the topic of gossip!! I'm not the one who cheated, but the one who got cheated on and I'm looking at this from your wife's prospective. Anyway, who knows, after the initial shock, you could be rid of the guilt and still come out in a better relationship with her. If you don't tell her, just learn to sweat a lot!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-09 02:48:43 · answer #7 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cheated, I couldn't live with the guilt, so I left. I figured something was wrong enough to send me astray in the first place and after reviewing reasons why. I realized I didn't want to be married anyway.
Nor could I admit my guilt to him, because that would just cause him pain, and for what just to clear my conscience? Then I'd feel guilty for being so selfish.
2007-07-09 02:38:19 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me cheating is not worth it,esp. if there's kids in the picture. My husband did not to long ago with a married woman, he didn't have no reason but he still did it,and now my love,trust and respect are gone after so many years of giving my life and love to him.
People that do cheat never really think of what might happen if they got caught, men or women,and the result of it,broken home,broken marriage and lots of lies. I hope that what you did taught you a lesson that getting even will not come out of being even.
2007-07-09 03:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeh, I did it. I can live with the guilt, although I feel bad for the other person not knowing. At the time, we were going through a really rough period. What's dumb is that I would be really devastated and pissed off if they had cheated. But, it would serve me right.
2007-07-09 02:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by Pat Smear 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you seem to be going over it anyhow. Every case if different, but in my case I must say yes, it's worth it. My husband cheated many times first, but I'm not cheating to get back at him. I happened to find someone who chrerishes and loves me and I love him right back. No, I do not feel guilty.
2007-07-09 02:38:50 · answer #11 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋