Why does it hurt us more if someone takes us for granted rather than the case of someone misunderstanding us?

Answer 1

Actually, it hurts me more to be misunderstood rather than taken for granted. I may be in the minority in feeling this way but taking things and/or people for granted is natural and normal. We all do it and usually it will take some sort of meltdown to appreciate what we have.
To have someone that is close enough to me to take me for granted but also perhaps misunderstand me is far worse simply because they are telling me that they do not know who I am. I allow very few people close access to me and when I do I don't care if they see me as the person I am but it scars me tremendously if they perceive me as someone I am not.
Cool question.

Answer 2

If someone misunderstands you, they don't really mean you any harm. Your feelings wouldn't be hurt because you can just clear up the misunderstanding & all is well. They haven't devalued you, only misunderstood you. However if someone takes you for granted, then they don't value you. They are disrespecting you. This can be particularly hurtful when it's someone you love. You want them to care about & appreciate you & if they don't then it hurts.

Answer 3

It's an issue of trust and expectations.

A misunderstanding would be unexpected, so no disappointment there.

Being taken for granted is a betrayal of trust, and a big let down wen it comes to the expectations of that relationship.

Bottom line, there's more emotions involved with being taken for granted, although sometimes both can hurt equally.

Answer 4

A misunderstanding is generally a single event occurring in the short term, hence a momentary discomfort. It is un-intentional and usually impersonal.
Being taken for granted is usually a long-term event occurring continuously in an established relationship. It causes more discomfort because the relationship is a closer one occurring repeatedly over time.

Answer 5

I think it hurts more because no -one wanted to be taken for granted and not cared for or left out or ignored its mean and so many humans do this to one another especially family with fights and not including certain people at party invites etc....

In misunderstandings you have communication to always make things right but someone taking another for granted by their actions is hard to forgive at times and we get hurt because of them................Nice question my buddie Small make a 360 page already hahaha :))))

Answer 6

If someone takes you for granted, it is a misunderstanding.

Answer 7

If someone misunderstands you, it simply means that she/he is trying to understand you, but if someone takes you for granted, it simply means that you are not important in their life. When we care about someone, we do want that they at least ACKNOWLEDGE our presence in their lives. If even that does not happen, then we feel hurt....

Answer 8

Ego.

If they misunderstand, they listened first.

If they take us for granted, they judged us unworthy of the listen.

Either way, if we choose to be hurt we abdicate a piece of our reality to the judgement of another. Either way, we allow outsiders to vote on our worth and choose to believe them.

But, it's alluring to believe the mediocre others we see around us are less mediocre than ourselves.

Answer 9

In the first case it is the one way communication and commitment where you are the target but in the second case it is half communication and least commitment.where you are not the target but referred person.

In the first case the confidence level of the other person is high for you but he is not bothered about your feelings, and in the second case it is low and disconcerened.

That is why the first type of persons hurt you more than the second type one.

Answer 10

I guess it depends on if they know you or not, because if they 'know' us they don't find us interesting, and find us shallow, then presumably they are right about what they are thinking. Actually they probably don't have enough depth themselves to see us. We're afraid they are right,and we are shallow. We also are trying to maintain our self image which is hard in a competitve world where we're not appreciated and looked down on if not successful and hated/envied if we are. A no win situation. A c0-opperative society is such because of mutual understanding and hence appreciation. That comes from understanding ours depth first and then we can see the depth in others.