I get on so well with my best friend...late last year we were talking one day and she asked if i have ever been attracted to women...i said yes...a few days later she admitted she was attracted to me...but she has a boyfriend. I admitted to her i was confused over my sexuality too and that i also had feelings for her. As time went on we chatted and one night ended up cuddling and holding hands...it happened on a few other occasions but nothing else happened...Then something happened which stopped her feeling the same...My feeling continued. We talked about that time every now and then but shes happy and confident that shes straight. A few days ago i admitted to myself and her for the first time that im gay. She then asked if i still had feelings for her. I have always been honest with her so i said yes. But i would never act on them or do anything to make her feel uncomfortable. She is now finding it difficult to deal with...although she said she'll stand by me..she says she needs time
2007-07-09 00:43:34 · 8 answers · asked by pstwix 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
has anyone else been in this situation....i keep telling her im the same person as i was a few days go...but i can understand that hearing your best friend has feelings for you is a bit scary...as before she probably never thought it was serious..but now she knows i am gay its scaring her! She originally said she needs to get away from me because im messing with her head..but then said i was her best friend and respects me for coming out and being honest with her.
Can anyone give me any advice...i dont know what to do....if i give her space she thinks im acting differently but i dont wanna crowd her. I know nothing will ever happen..i have told her i would never do or say anything to hurt her...will she be ok?
Will things get back to the way they were?
2007-07-09 00:50:20 · update #1
It sounds like there's some serious stuff going on in her head. There's a strong chance the relationship may change. How much I have no clue. Just see if she's willing to talk to you about what's going on in her mind. It sounds like she has some big things on her mind and she's trying to work through them. If you two are best friends, you two should be able to talk about whatever is bothering her. *Be very gentle with her* as this sounds like it's tough time for her. It may be that she still has feelings for you. *Just don't rush her.* She does need time, but a friend by her side can be a blessing in a difficult time.
2007-07-09 12:10:12 · answer #1 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, time could help. In this case, what choice do you have? If she says she needs time, then give her time. Otherwise the situation might get worse. At least she's still talking to you. I experienced this once and I was ignored for 2 years. But now we are friends again.
Yea I do understand what you mean when you say what's so scary knowing that your friend has feelings for you? Till now I still do not understand. =) I guess we never will. =)
It's not gonna be easy to keep a distance from her as u gals have been best pals; spending most time together. She might start spending less time with you or intentionally does not answer your calls or reply your sms-es.
Through the journey, u might feel hopeless that the friendship would ever be the same again and at times you might even doubt whether have you made the right decision by admitiing to her your feelings. You won't. At least she knows. =)
Trust me, you will survive this. =) Stay strong!
2007-07-09 05:54:44 · answer #2 · answered by Liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there
You have done everything within your powers to make this situation less ugly.
You have explained all to your best friend, coming out, feelings you have for her, how you wouldn't act upon it etc etc
She has told you she needs time, the proverbial ball is in her side of the court, you must now sit back and see.
(The fruit of paitence is ALWAYS sweet)!
Only time will tell, stop banging your head against the wall.
If she comes back and realises that she has been silly, she'll apologise and you will carry on as normal.
If she doesn't then it will have been a learning curve for you, such is life. Once she has made her decision, accecpt it and enjoy life!
Pav xx
2007-07-09 01:57:38 · answer #3 · answered by Pav Akhtar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can't see why she's needing space. Because no matter how you feel or what you've told her shouldn't change anything. It may be a little ackward for her in the beginning but you have to give it time. Even though she told you she may have had feelings for you, it hasn't changed. People go through mix emotions at some point in life, but she will come around. It's going to hard to catch a hold to the whole thing, but she still care and she will come around. Just give it time.
2007-07-09 00:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by singlelez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THeres no easier way to put this. Best friends shouldnt get into a relasionship Or bump uglies. It usualy turns out this way. U have changed the relasionship. It's gone to another level now. Thats why I always say to ask yourself which do you want most the friendship, or being a lover. Which do you want most. U may loose both.
Good LUck
Alabama
2007-07-09 01:09:42 · answer #5 · answered by James R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her at her word, she needs time to adjust, same as it would be if someone you knew well made a significant change in her life, you may go back to being best friends, or, she may never adjust your recognition of your sexuality. We really can't force people into being what we want or need. We just have to find people who already are what we want or need.
2007-07-09 00:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well!! just give her sometime as she asked let her know your true feeling once and for all and then just let her have some time to think it over I am sure she will do what is best for you both ...u know whats best for her but you wont be sad coz you just want what makes her comfotable Right??!!!
2007-07-09 00:54:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give her space...im sure in time best things comes your way... believe in saying that if she comes back she's yours
2007-07-09 02:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by aRhOn28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋