growing up my parents drank every night. they would get wasted and start yelling going crazy on each other, then they would gang up on me and start yelling at me how im a terrible person etc after many years i stayed away as much as possible and married at 18. 18 yrs. later still married to a great man and have 12 yr i would have my parents over and my dad would get drunk and try to beat up my husband. I put an end to all relations w/them up until 3 yrs ago they told me they will never hurt us again and all has been so good i felt we had a family finally and my child could share this too. soo they invited hus. and dght. on vacation last wk. soo excited for them went 2 dominican. got call from daght. crying so hard that granpa got drunk and started yelling @ her dad. i could not believe it. only there 4 hrs and he srewed up! he was saying horribly things about my family i flew there got new pl. 2 stay w/ them feel sick n heart and cant stop feeling bad!time 2 let go again?guilty
2007-07-08 23:32:30 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand that you want to maintain a relationship with your parents, but you need to understand that alcoholism is a disease - it isn't something they can control. I'm not sure if just your dad or both your mom and dad are alcoholics? Either way, after 36 years of abuse I think you need to look at what's best for you and your family... yes, it's time to cut the connection again.
Tell your dad (and mom?) that you love him (them?) but you cannot subject yourself or your family to the abuse you suffer when he is drinking, and you will no longer have anything to do with him as long as he drinks. Offer your support if they should choose to get help for their addiction, but be firm about refusing any other contact for any other reason.
You cannot control whether or not he drinks, but you can certainly control whether or not you let him abuse you and your daughter when he drinks. Your parents chose not to protect you - please do not do the same thing to YOUR daughter.
2007-07-09 00:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people choose to drink, they have chosen to suffer any consequences that may occur from the results of it. It is not your place to feel guilty. Just avoid any long term stays, and if the liquor comes out, leave immediately.
Your children should not be exposed to this type of behavior, and you need to tell your parents that if they want to see them at all, it had better not occur again in front of them!
2007-07-08 23:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man has a drinking problem, and he needs to check into AA before he seriously harms himself or another member of the family. Talk to the rest of the family; ask them for support in this matter. Then talk to him together -- preferably when he isn't drunk.
But if he absolutely refuses, and there's nothing any of you can do to change his mind, then it's time to let go. When it gets to the point that your own child is in danger, you have to give her welfare top priority.
2007-07-08 23:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by Riven Liether 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your parents are just awful (if you're offended, don't be. i'm just stating the facts). if my parents did that to me i would renounce them as my parents until i was guaranteed they would not be like this (maybe if they went to alcoholics anonymous) and even then i might not take them back. the answer to your question would be that your parents are just like that. that is how they just are unfortunately and for some reason not going to change.
by the way, i think you could use a hug.
2007-07-08 23:41:48 · answer #4 · answered by 3nathn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents have a drinking problem and until they sober up and stay sober, they will not be able to control their abusive behaviors. I think it would be best to limit contact with them if not completely cut them off.
2007-07-08 23:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please read the book Toxic Parents. it will open your eyes.
And please talk to your parents and tell them that you are no longer willing to put up with this behavior. it is not healthy for your family, your children are learning from you.
if you put up with this behavior, they will think it is acceptable to put up with it from someone else who can abuse them more in the future and i know you wouldnt want that.
Maybe after awhile your parents will see you are serious and change.
2007-07-09 01:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u need to get your parents help.. they are in need of it .. keep your children away from them{}
2007-07-09 00:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by who ?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4get bowt them onece they are abuive they will all ways be abusiv it aint good on you or your partner.
2007-07-08 23:37:18 · answer #8 · answered by kimmy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep away from them forever..they dont deserve your time and company
2007-07-08 23:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by sheru 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are inherently abusive.
2007-07-08 23:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by saumitra s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋