what does it mean when you get angry at people for using severe terminology and words to describe your?

Question

circumstances? putting their slant on it, making it appear to be the truth.
for example my brief summaryof my circumstances is: im a 30 year old bpd sufferer, live alone, endured alot of trauma and hardship in my life, im lonely, live alone, but im still trying to better myself and attain my dreams and hopes..

then some woman describes my lifes circumstances as : he lives alone, in an apartment, curtains shut, never goes out, has no life....
i get angry at this, her putting that slant upon it, i wouldnt of never described me like that..i get angry because i feel the womans trying to make me look bad by how she says it...plus i feel its a incorrect interpretation.
hw do i deal with other peoples views and the way they talk about things, without becoming angry?

Answer 1

just talk with them calmly and ask them about thier opinion to you in a nice way.

Answer 2

Is not hard to imagine the environment a person lives when mentioning how he feels. If I tell you I am a frustrated student, getting low grades, hate my brothers and my father is a drunk who hits my mom every night...???? Would you imagine me in a Harvard School, chauffeur, brothers in the Army or Doctors or Attorneys, dad being a successful buss. man and my mom going to the Club every day? Would you imagine me in a mansion with gardens? No, I don't think so.
So,the attitude / message can give a wrong interpretation on your environment. Isn't there a saying that goes: Tel me who are you with and I'll tell you who you are?, very close: Tell me how you feel and I'll tell you how you live. Don't get upset, but that how many people will interpret things. We are only humans. Perhaps, you would need to ask how can I be better on what I do, or any guidance on how to reach these goals of mine? without describing you.

Answer 3

I think you don't want to be rejected by the apparent 'well-adjusted' people. The fact is is you may be exactly what they would reject. I mean, are you not in fact rejecting apparent 'well-adjusted mentality' in your life right now by not going out, having the curtains shut, and seeming like a recluse?

Those who are at ease in the emotional and social arenas are going to see you as someone who is not adept because of this behavior of yours. I think you don't want to admit that because you would devalue yourself for it (and you're afraid others would devalue you). There's a part of you that understands that you are struggling to gain a grip; and, for a person who is struggling to gain a grip, this is exactly the kind of reclusive behavior they exhibit. You believe yourself to not be normal, not socially successful, excluded, so you behave as if you are abnormal, antisocial, and reclusive. Yet, you don't want to be that way, that's why you don't want others to see you that way.

Get real honest. If ever this discussion about your living habits rises up again while you are around, get honest, at least with yourself. "She's right, I do do that. I don't want to seem weird but right now I'm going through a kind of tough period in my life where I don't feel real social. Sorry if that makes any of you feel uncomfortable." Blatant honesty, I find, sometimes diffuses a situation more quickly than anything. You may still come off as weird to some, but those who have gone through the same as you will know better; and, really, those are the people you probably want to relate to.

Answer 4

Like you have already stated in your own words. Humans will always view themselves differently than how everyone else sees them. She may be narrow minded in this particular instance, but just keep your awareness inclined to the fact you will always have multiple opportunities to alter, warp, or even re-conceive the ways in which people look at you. Becoming paranoid is just going to make you more angry, so try not to worry so much. People are always going to have opinions, and besides, what value does this woman in your example hold with you? She is nothing. What she thinks does not matter unless you let it get to you. Just also keep in mind that people might not always put as much of a positive incite through words as you would like them to. For this reason, you must emphasize your own personal attributes as often as possible in order to somewhat conceal the aspects of your personality that you do not wish to stand out. Over time those negative perceptions that people mislabelled you with will simple fade.

Answer 5

hw do i deal with other peoples views and the way they talk about things, without becoming angry? . . .

If you learn nothing else about life learn this and save your self a lot of grief. As long as your enjoying what it is that your doing, provided your not hurtiing any one else in the process, and that your not lying to yourself, saying your loner but in reality you need people around you, as long as you have it going on for yourself, then what
others think about you or the way you live
is absolutely irrelivant . . .

Now on the other hand if what i read above is what your doing then in my estimation quite frankly and with all do respect, your lying to your self as well as others . . .

I don't care who you are or what you do there's always gonn be someone who'll either question you or worse critisize you for it be it one reason or another, and also from what i read above, it appears to me, that your suceeding very nicely in giving other people the right insperation if you will, to be simply sticking there nose in your bussiness.

Sounds to me like you want others to see thing's through your eye's as oppose to how they realy are, well forget it cause it
realy doesn't work that way . . .

You wanna live in a cave go for it, but make sure it's what your real intentions are, but don't become defensive when others wonder why you like living in a
cave. You just simply ignore them and
go about your bussiness and not ask
them if they approve of you living in a
cave and then get mad cause they tell
your nuts . . .

Answer 6

I wouldn't say don't get angry but just don't let it upset you too much! Don't dwell on it! It's ok to be angry and upset at things-but remind yourself that she is forming this opinion through ignorance as she does not have all the facts about you, maybe if she did her opinion would be different! BUT her opinion is like a lot of others' - ILL INFORMED and maybe we should all try to be a little less quick to judge without all the facts and consider others more! Who cares what she thinks about you as long as YOU KNOW what's right! GOOD LUCK and try not to wory too much about insignificant opinions of others!x

Answer 7

You cannot change the way people perceive things, however you might want to take it for what it is worth. You sound like a positive person... so look at the bright side, you may want to take a closer look at what people are saying if you keep hearing the same thing over and over.

Answer 8

The poor woman obviously has sad issues of her own.You offer yourself as the perfect scapegoat, and she is happier to degrade you than to face up to her own problems. This is quite a normal behaviour from lonely disturbed people.
You must assert yourself, when she makes these derogatory remarks. Just grin back and say something deflatory like "thanks for thinking about me".
A good sense of humour will soon put an end to her bad manners.

Answer 9

It sounds like you are trying to control something that you can never control. You cannot control what people say or think about you so don't bother trying.
If you are happy with your life then that's all that matters.
If you are not happy with your life then you need to focus on what will make you happy. You should avoid negative people. If they are negative then that usually means that they are unhappy too. Don't take it on as your problem. That's my advice to you. :) Stay strong and focus on making yourself happy. That's all you can do. That's your span of control.

Answer 10

Words hurt, sometimes as bad as being struck. I have had people say things behind my back and a few times I happen to hear them. Life at times is very cruel. Sometimes it is not what they say but the tone.

Answer 11

Then you must tell those hard-headed people this:

Im sorry mam/or sir, but i believe you are misunderstanding my current situation, please be advised that iam living like any othe fellow here full of life, except that iam striving to retrieve my past goals of life, and i know that I will arrive to that point in life very soon.