I am me.
Not who you want me to be.
I don't care what you say,
So get out of my way.
I'll do what I want,
And say what I feel.
The words from my mouth,
You won't believe they are real.
Yes, I do love you.
But do you love me?
Because if you did,
You would let me be me.
2007-07-08 18:27:00 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Meaning of it is really sound....
I like your self-confidence...
U could ve made a bit longer than it shows...
U treated an issue in your Poetry, and I liked that attitude..
It sounded very good to me, and I am sure u will continue doing well...
Best of luck
2007-07-10 04:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by FOREVER AUTUMN 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is a "nice" poem, and it has the ring of authenticity about it (youth writing about youth). However, your beats are off in places. For example, change "you won't believe they are real" to "you won't believe real" if you want it to match the feet of "the words from my mouth" (5 beats or feet each). Also, the beginning doesn't have to be a perfect couple (not rhyming is okay too), so you could try...
"I am me, not who
you want me to be"
followed by:
"Get out of my way
I'll do what I want"
and finally, the last line would be:
"you'd let me be me"
This keeps all lines at 5 beats, and allows it to almost be lyrical. Don't worry about the first two lines' last words not rhyming, there is enough internal rhyme to give it credibility. If you make the changes suggested, read it out loud and you'll see how much better it will flow.
2007-07-12 15:31:36 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one, as relationship is about compromise... It could be a simple thing like flirting, it's OK when we are single, but when we are not. it's hurtful to the ones we love. so when one asks another to stop flirting... and the other refuses to change. it can only end in bitterness.
What is me? a static unlearning person. or a dynamic person that learns and adapts?
you're poem rhymes, but I disagree with the subject.
2007-07-08 19:00:40 · answer #3 · answered by Ashamed2beHuman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a rant, and it is completely self centred and rings true. I think this is a moment in a time capsule. Brilliant idea !
2007-07-12 07:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by pat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you are you.
Be who you want to.
I'll let you lead the life you live,
those fiery words I'll believe.
take it easy and slow,
and so I'll let go.
that was great. I loved it
2007-07-09 01:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by the16th 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple yet very sincere. I like it.
2007-07-08 18:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Ghost 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it's great i think if anybody is mean to you i think you should do that ONLY if somebody is mean to you
2007-07-08 18:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by htang60 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thumps up
2007-07-08 18:41:09 · answer #8 · answered by ~ ANGEL ~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so far... quite good... two thumbs up for you!
2007-07-09 00:08:56 · answer #9 · answered by Ethan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeap its ok
2007-07-09 02:18:08 · answer #10 · answered by ILOVEU 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋