Is This How Single People Act??

Question

I'm not single, I've been in a happy relationship for 3 years. But, most of my friends are single or who are in very casual relationships.

I find that a good majority (not all) are very loose in the sexual aspects of their relationships. Now, I believe in pre-marital sex. I'm not against it, but there is a difference between having sex in a meaningful relationship and then having casual sex.

I find a lot of my friend have sex in casual ways. When I was younger, I had a one night stand. I regretted it and have never done it since. I disrespected myself that night. I learned a valuable lesson. I was very young about 20. The girls that are my friends are 23/24 years old. Don't girls get smarter about sex and relationships as they get older. It seems like my friends are becoming more dumb in their sexual relationship as they get older. One of my friend's new (only 3 week old relationship) cheated on her w/ some random girl. My friend took him back with in two

days. What's up with these girls?

Again, I'm not against pre-marital sex. I have sex w/ my boyfriend. I

But, seriously. Do lots of single girls act like this? I find smart, college educated girls aren't even using birth control or condoms in casual relationships.

I know if I were single tomorrow, I would not be sleeping around. If I did date someone else and have sex, I would be smart about it. I would protect myself.

My friend aren't ashamed. They openly discuss these events.

They don't use protection and are at serious risk for STDs and AIDS.

I do think it's discussing. Sex is fine, but why sleep around w/ people you don't care and risk getting diseases.

I'm not judging, I'm sorry. But, that's stupid. Especially w/ all we know about STDs, AIDs and HIV. This isn't the 60's anymore, you can't have random hook up every week. My friends have them quite a few times a month.

Answer 1

What if everyone doesn't think like you? What if some people are ok with casual sex? What if some people have found it makes a friendship stronger and not weaker? What if some people think a safe and consensual one-night-stand can be fun?

I had a one-night-stand with one of the most intelligent men I've yet to meet. I couldn't have dated him, and 2 days after we were together he was flying back home to Russia. But we had a conversation that changed my life, and some REALLY good sex to boot. I don't regret it at all.

I've had friends with benefits with whom I've had a good time without things getting complicated. It was comforting to me, in a sense, and besides that it was just fun.

I'm not ashamed of my sexuality, and I don't limit my experiences to the ones deemed "appropriate" by people who don't even know me.

If that makes my "slutty" or "loose," fine. I'd rather be a sIut than someone who is unhappy and controlled by what others have to say about my private life.

EDIT:
If they're not using protection, that's a whole different issue. That's just stupid. I won't do much of anything without barrier protection. And I'm totally clean because of it.

Answer 2

I agree with you. I think you are more in touch with yourself than your friends are. The feelings you have are very typical. Your friends have these feelings too but are either unaware of them or don't value themselves enough to not do that to themselves.
Usually people who engage in much promiscuous sex engage in other behaviors in order to avoid the feelings that follow sex: Getting away from the partner as fast as possible after sex, ending relationships as soon as there's sex, switching partners often, getting "bored" with one sexual partner, drinking or doing drugs after sex and so on.
You may have done it one time because that was what everyone you knew was doing. So it seemed cool. But then you felt the consequenses and didn't do it again. This is normal behavior. You know the saying: The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over again and expecting different results.
I think casual sex is a big huge myth. It's a very attractive myth though, which is why it keeps getting propogated from generation to generation. Reducing human intimacy to sex; I can just have sex whenever I want and FEEL intimate without having to deal with all the messy complications that accompany human relationships. It's a beautiful dream for some people who have serious intimacy issues. But, unfortunately, it's just not reality. Try as they might, they just can't get it to feel and work how they want it to.
So to answer your question, no. This isn't how single people act. There are plenty of singles who don't buy into the whole casual sex thing.

Answer 3

I think the primary factor is to continuously be conscious and respectful of his marriage and household. True friendships are difficult to come back by way of, and it's unhappy whilst you lose a connection like that. I might ask myself a few questions if this has led you to search the evaluations of others. The the first thing I might ask is how fundamental is that this "friendship" to you? What do you get out of it if whatever? If for a few cause you had been not equipped to converse with this man or woman might or not it's ok with you? I might additionally ask myself if the hindrance was once reversed and it had been your husband who has a friendship with a unmarried feminine, how might you think approximately it? At this factor it does no longer appear to be hurtful to someone, but when at any time you begin to look matters that you simply think are beside the point, or think that it's disrespectful to his spouse then you definitely must certainly remember finishing it. If you might like to grasp if his spouse is mindful of your friendship simply ask him. I think that there are regulations to be adopted while conducting friendships like this so simply preserve your eyes open.

Answer 4

wow not to be rude but it sounds like you maybe you are being a little to judgemental....your friends probably regret when they do it too but dont want to talk about it. maybe they are doing these things because deep down they are lonely and are looking for comfort in the wrong places...or maybe they just like sex and dont want commitment....

just cause your friends are doing this doesn't mean all single people do it...i'm single and dont act like that and neither do my friends (i'm 21 and my friends are 20-25)....

sounds like your friend who took that guy back is just desperate for a companion.... thats probably why she has one night stands....she just wants someone there

maybe you should mention something to them about being safe and stds and pregnancy and they'll get the point....cause they will probably be real offended if you tell them they sleep around lol

Answer 5

I think you said it, no self respect or self esteem. If you don't protect yourself now , you are crazy with HIV and everything. Young women are the fastest growing group for new HIV cases. They need to start using there brains for something. If someone is your real friend, tell them to use protection.

Answer 6

I am completely with you on that. But yes, unfortunately that is the way many single girls act these days.

Answer 7

Yes. That is the typical way singles act today.

Answer 8

being older does not mean being wiser,just consider yourself lucky for even having a relationship don't be too hard on us single people there are ones who think the same way you do..............in my opinion we don't grow up till about 40.

Answer 9

keep your sense it seems you have plenty of it and yes some girls dont care but dont be like them . keep thinking like you are,