What do I do if my kid admitted that he is using illegal drug? He is 28-years old living at home.?

Question

My 28-year-old step-son finally got his undergraduate degree from a not-so-reputable private college a year ago and moved back home since. He took 8 months to find first job, but is about to lose this job recently. He is a loner living in our nicely furnished basement. Our relationship is going downhill for the last few months since he had repeatedly disrespected me in front of other family members, threaten me, and use violent language to against me. I couldn't get my husband to make any changes because he is always trying to protect his son. Few weeks ago, I smelt strong stinky smoke at the basement and told my husband. He is shock when his son admitted that he is using illegal drug. He is hurt but still can not do or say anything to his son. His son is sleeping, watching TV, or playing baseball. I can't communicate with my husband to help his son to get back his life and find another job. His son becomes the problem in my marriage. How do I protect my 3 other children?

Answer 1

Your husband has no back bone shame thats his own child you think he would want him to grow up right. well this is tough for you to come down like the hard and heavy but you have 3 other younger children at home and I can see you don't want them learning its okay to swear at mom and tell her off. YOU ARE THE mother.

I would say he's 28 he should definately no better. my guess is he knows his father is weak and won't say anything and he knows that he won't get kicked out.

You will have to put your foot down and say this is my housse my rules as long as your living here you will abide by our rules of the household ( and type them out for him on a sheet so he can't say he didnt' remember the rules)

there will be no drugs in the house ( especially with 3 younger children in the house)

You will participate in the house function as do the rest of the kids if you care to live in this house. and you will NOT swear at anyone or disrespect anyone he's not above all of you and you have to show him your the boss. the guys getting free living and im sure free laundry food and a roof over his head if he doesn't like it. say theres the door if you think you can do better than what we are giving you by all means go out in the real world . ( he'll learn soon enough its not all about him he sounds very selfish to the rest of the family here and is only thinking of his needs and not caring about everyone else's feelings.)

Doesn't help your husband is weak in this area. you should also have a talk with him and that you both have to be on the same page with your son and can't show that your devided your son will sense this between you. Be the strong one here since hubby isn't

good luck

Answer 2

We all want to help our children during hard times, but your husband is enabling his son. He is 28 years old and needs to get off his duff and find another job and move out on his own. As far as the drugs, what is he using? Because some things are really bad. If he is threatening you, you have the right to call the police, but realize that whatever you do against your step-son, your husband will probably not like it and this may cause problems. But you really have to consider the safety of your other children above all else. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Ok I can see some people here do not understand that you are in the situation where you do not know what to do. Some people think that just because he is 28 and at home that is not normal, You should be happy that you have your son with you, better there then on the streets doing God knows what. You can start by talking to him , tell him that is wrong what he is doing, ask him if his other brothers/ sisters wants him to follow his footsteps, make sure that he understands that using or selling is not right and that if he gets caught he will go to jail , you also need to sit down and talk to your husband , only two of you need to come to conclusion what you can do about this situation, just all 3 of you need to sit down and discus this situation because if you don't thing are going to get out of control .. Good luck

Answer 4

You tell your husband that his son having drugs in your house puts ALL of you in physical and legal danger, and that as a mother you will not stand for it.
As long as you allow him to freeload, you are only enabling him to continue down his current path. If your husband lets him keep doing this, he is only hurting his son in the long run by not giving him the tools he needs to be happy and successful! He should be saving every dime he can make at some kind of job so that he can move out and start a real life.
I'm 28 years old, and I'm a mom of 3. My husband and I do well for ourselves. The time for responsibility has come and gone at almost 30. There is no reason why he has to live with his parents.....most people his age ARE parents.

Answer 5

There is no room in your home for a drug abuser. Bottom line. Your husband needs to grow some &alls and start respecting you and your children. Drugs are illegal and wrong. Tell the 28 year old man to hit the road. He can either go to rehab or get the heck out and go wherever. You are 100% right that you want him out. He sounds like a lazy, disrespectful druggie. He would not last 5 minutes in my house. If you know that he has drugs on him, call the police.

Answer 6

This is truly a sad situation.

Your husband is blind to the fact that his son is a user and a loser! I've been through it and it isn't pretty.

You have to talk to your husband, not in a demanding way, but let him know that with disrespect follows more disrespect and then violence.

Don't let this shiftless good-for-nothing run or ruin your lives... If you do, your marriage is doomed!

I'm serious here. Tell that loser/user that he has to make his own way in life or sink.. DO NOT give an option to help or the offer to come back.. If you do you will be sorry!!!

Many of these shiftless, useless, helpless, users think they can live off of others like a leach.... Sorry, but that isn't the way life is. Kick his butt to the curb... If you condon what he is doing and living off of you both, he will continue doing it.
You are the enabler that allows these actions.

Until he reaches the gutter, he will not appreciate what it is to live as a responsible mature adult.

Good luck.. I feel for you and you both.

Answer 7

I think you better get a handle on this right now or he will be leading your other 3 children down the wrong path. Have seen it in other families. You need to use a little tough love...maybe on both your husband and your step-son. Let them know that you will not stand for him doing drugs in YOUR home. If it's okay with your husband, then maybe they need to find a place of their own. I know this sounds harsh, but you need to protect your 3 innocent children. If your children see their brother getting by with bad behavior what lesson is this going to teach them. Good luck and god bless.

Answer 8

Although he is your step-son, he is still under your charge. Have you tried talking to him and show him that life is more than just drugs. If he needs a boost, get vitamins instead. Life is precious and tell him that he needs to live life to the fullest. He is still young at 28 and maybe he should try looking for another job. He needs to keep active like getting enough exercise by jogging, running or playing basketball. In fact, any sport that he fancies. Hope that helps.

Answer 9

from what you say he`s your husband`s son, not yours. i mean your husband`s son with his ex-wife or something. no wonder he has no respect for you, he doesn`t see you as his flesh and blood, you are not his mother.
He is 28 years old, living in the basement, about to lose his job AND he smokes weed? LOL this seems like an Afroman music video. i think you need frame his son using illegal drugs or doing something bad, so your husband gets angry at him and maybe wakes him up to reality. he seems like a damn loser, keep your 3 other kids away from him.

Answer 10

This is your house too. You need to kick him out. He is old enough to take care of himself, and sometimes it takes some tough love to get a kid to wake up. Explain to your husband that you want your other children protected from drugs and poor behavior and that his son is setting a bad example. If he won't stand up to him, then you tell your husband that you are going to tell his son that he can't live with you unless he gets a job, keeps it, and does not do any drugs in the house!