things between me and this guy ended really badly. we both said hurtful things we cant take back. more him then me. it bothers me that it ended so bad. i even told him i hated him and to never contact me again. he told me he cheated on me. should i contact him and if so what do i say. i dont want to try to work things out, but it bothers me alot that it ended so badly. i loved him and unfortunatley still do. but the trust is gone. he hurt me alot. i dont know if i should just let it go. it takes alot out of me to have this much anger towards someone. advice please.
2007-07-08 17:31:57 · 19 answers · asked by questiontime 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this happened about a month ago
2007-07-08 17:40:19 · update #1
Let it go.
You say you love him - how could you when there is no trust? Things end badly sometimes - you yourself said him more than you said bad things- just let it go, you don't need the drama.
2007-07-08 17:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by so Fresh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drop him.
There are plenty of guys out there, why go back when you can go forward. Learn from this guy and move.
Love is one of those things that doesnt always disappear, thats ok. After I got married, I met a girl I was with for 3 years, and I loved her dearly then. We had some problems in which we grew apart and the relationship wasn't healthy anymore, to say I dont love her anymore would be false, would I consider being with her again? In another life, maybe. Love is not a card you can just turn in when your done. It may be there for a very long time after all is said and done.
Unfortunately relationships revolve around many things other than just love. Like trust.
2007-07-08 17:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't want things to work out, the best thing you can do is not contact him. I definitely wouldn't contact him if he cheated and admitted it. If you need to talk to him to let the anger go then maybe you should write him a letter or email telling him how it made you feel and how he hurt you. If you call him , what if he is rude and makes you feel even worse than he did when you ended things? Good luck :)
2007-07-08 17:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by Twinkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
You call him this GUY? Is it you boyfriend? Well what ever.
How serious are you.? Do you have Sex with him? If not and he told you that there could be 3 reasons. One could be he wanted to be honest with you. Wanted to provoke you to see if you would have sex with him(if you haven't had with him yet) and if you have then I would really try and find out how did he fall into that. If he is young sometime younger boys have more problems in holding back because they think they will be called ****** or something like that or the girl just provoked to much or he hasn't got to understand the meaning of true love yet.
I wish i could know about your circumstance to help better but from my questions and answers maybe you can think a little better.
Good Luck
Rosy
2007-07-08 17:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by rosy14rb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More love advice from a sixteen year old guy. If it ended badly, and you want to patch it up, so that its still ended, only, not as badly, call him, and say that you want to work out some sort of a way that it could end less badly. after a little negotiation (if the guy is anything like anyone I know) you should be able to get everything off of your mind, and he should be able to say everything he wants to say, and you'll both end simply saying goodbye. Not a sad goodbye, not a loud and voilent goodbye, but just a goodbye. Hope this helps.
2007-07-08 17:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you need the closure, then contact him. Tell him that you know in your heart it wont work between the two of you, but you would like to part on good terms. Even if he doesnt say hes sorry and decides to continue to say bad things, just let them go. Dont feed into his anger and hatred, just be as nice as you can and hang up. Then at least you look like the better person in this whole deal. Trust me I know its hard. I have been there, but it is better to try and get the closure for yourself and to stay calm while doing it. You will feel better within yourself
2007-07-08 17:37:19 · answer #6 · answered by Kandice R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you just wrote sorta says it all. This being the case why don't you sit down and write him an old fashioned letter. This will give you a chance to let him know exactly what you feel and why. I would imagine just writing it all out will help you feel a little better and you don't have send it until you have it just right. As a matter of fact, you may change your mind about things and not send it at all. Good luck. Hope you feel better soon.
2007-07-08 17:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by Spade, Sam Spade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the look of it, everything from you guys have been broken apart and this one you'll have to let go.
He said he cheated on you and he hid it from you from all this time right? Well he already made a mistake with you and that's hard to take back, with all those negative comments going on back and forth in the end.
I suggest just let this one go. Find a platonic friend. Like someone who's been there for you from an opposite sex. They'll help you and keep you company until you've move on
2007-07-08 17:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its time to move on, he's cheated on you and broken your trust, that's not something you will be able to get back so easily especially with how much he has hurt you, in-spite of everything if he really cared then he would make some form of an attempt to apologize or contact you, he hasn't and it seems like you're the only person who wants to make things better, while he isn't giving what happened a second thought, it might be best to move on and just go on with your life...
2007-07-11 18:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the most important part of what you said is that he cheated on you. period.
someone who cheats on you should not have a second chance. no way. no how. no matter how it ended.
someone who destroyed your trust in him should not have a second chance. no way. no how.
someone who hurt the way he did should not have a second chance. no way. no how.
contacting him will not change those factors nor will it make the situation better.
we women are very emotional creatures. so it is normal that you are feeling all sorts of things - hurt, anger, betrayal - all of it. and only time will ease your pain.
contacting a man that has hurt you, cheated on you, and betrayed your trust would only intensify what you are feeling and would take even more out of you.
even if you loved him/still love him, dont you love yourself more?
2007-07-08 17:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by miss lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I onced kicked a guy out of my house (and ended the relationship) because he said to me "If you would just shut up for a minute". You know, you can't un-ring a bell and this is a big freaking bell he rang. I kicked him out and I never looked back. Oh, yeah, he stood at my door for hours knocking, banging, apologizing, begging. Bottom line, I didn't deserve to spoken to that way and if I had allowed him back into my life that would have been given him approval to treat me that way. NOT COOL!!!! You are better than that, you deserve better than that, and you will find better than that one day. When you find that someone who doesn't treat you that way, you'll be glad you didn't make that phone call, you'll be glad to be rid of him. You don't need him or any man to be whole, but you will find the right person that makes you feel complete and you'll know when it happens. They will treat you like you are their world.
Post the bad guys and gals at warningsob2avoid group
2007-07-08 17:50:50 · answer #11 · answered by leitharenea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋