DNA
Blood drips silent
from a roses bud
till a droplet
taps the ripples
from the first
drop of blood
Over hangging
is the victim
with a noose on tight
and a sloppy
c-section
that wasn't cut right
Fading in the
distance are a
babys cries
as a monster
takes the infant
while the mother dies
No, he's not
the father nor
any next of kin
he's just a
heartless coward
comitted to sin
Two days later on the
news it's said the
monster's been tracked down
but, the infant
that he sorely took
was no where to be found
20 years later
the case was solved,
a rookie with curiousity,
he had a picture
of the mother, an attitude and
his DNA matched perfectly...
2007-07-08 15:06:10 · 9 answers · asked by ? 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
It's a bit "prosey", good twist, but a little too direct (which is why it sounds a bit prosey). Still, not a bad job considering the topic. This poem would be called a "grue". Check out www.newpoetspress.com under the word of the week section, down under "other words".
Again, nice job.
2007-07-14 17:01:07 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I loved it!!! WAOW! AMAZING! You caught my attention right from the start. I dont like rhyme but you were amazingly good. The idea was so creative, very imaginative. It had a very nice flow, a great concept, nice sentence structure.... I enjoyed the way you let the reader fill the things in between the lines. Beautiful work! 10/10
2007-07-09 00:30:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely written someone in answers said you have a talent for writing poetry. I would like to add some people have it others don't. I interpreted here some parts scary like a murder case dealing with DNA. But the poem was written awesomely.
2007-07-08 23:28:05 · answer #3 · answered by sweet_blue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good poem, a little bit on the creepy intense side but I assume thats how you wanted it. Good work, keep it up!
Keep Writting!
2007-07-13 06:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by Sh00ting_St@r! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you write this honey....if you did then you certainly have a gift for writting poems....it is a special gift and you should try and develop them....although this particular one is sad....but it tells the story with so little words....well done ;)
2007-07-08 22:11:33 · answer #5 · answered by soundfamiliar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds good. Keep up the writing.
2007-07-16 18:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Msbearr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting.
Unique subject matter.
Pace is good.
Perhaps slightly more visuals, but I digress, as heinous is implied.
Would like to see more of your work...
2007-07-08 22:35:47 · answer #7 · answered by zmanjohn00 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really like it. Its very dark and mysterious,but it very suspenseful and thats how I write. We should hook up.
2007-07-13 12:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by Argent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its kind of scary. But its okay!
2007-07-08 22:09:31 · answer #9 · answered by BLAH ♥ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋