Where do the few 32 yr old women with very high IQs find a compatible empathic guy? No snob responses, pls.

Question

This is a hard age to find a compatible guy, and then I have heard the most compatible couples have IQs within 5 points of each other's.
So where are the really smart, in the, what, 0.005 or so percent of women in the the U.S. population, supposed to find a compatible guy?
Advice, please.
Please, no put-downs, this is a serious question, and if you can't offer anything constructive, please don't say anything at all! Thanks.

My 32 yr old niece is finding it quite hard to find someone compatible. It is because she is too intelligent. She meets men, and can see their flaws almost immediately. And they are SERIOUS flaws. She would really like to get married. She can't marry someone she can tell she isn't compatible with! What do the highly intelligent DO?????

She's already doing e-harmony, thanks for the great suggestion, and we just determined that she needs to go to the local university and take a class, thanks for that good idea too.

Any other thoughts?

Answer 1

There are a few areas where you could scout out some pretty smart guys... the smartest group I ever dealt with was my bird watching club - almost everyone in it was a successful something or other. When we went on our annual trip abroad it was some of the smartest and best educated people I ever spent time with - we went to Alska and several of the folks knew all abouit geology and filled us in. When we went to Europe it was like being on a history lecture tour. Another pretty good group was the Early Music and Chamber Music club... almost every member held an advanced degree - not in music, pretty often it was in computer science or health sciences. Another quirky but smart population was the Society for Creative Anachronism guys... these are all people to whom play and learning are inseparable....

I think you should probably move somewhere where there is a high proportion of PhDs int he population... like the Boston/ Providence corridor, or the Research Triangle.

Your problem is a real one, but then, you are smart, so you should be able to figure it out!

Answer 2

I'm going to offer some constructive critism and then some suggestions. It sounds like she's too picky. Intelligence is just one part of the package and in my opinion a very important one. You say she sees serious flaws in all of the guys she dates. You can't be a 7 looking for a 10. The chances that she doesn't have qualities that men see as serious problems is slim to none considering she's human. Maybe she needs to do some inward reflection and work on her flaws before she searches for a man without any. Back to the intelligence issue - I have serious trouble finding guys to date because most in my area are umm.... not the brightest candle on the cake if you catch my drift. The problem here is we can never carry on a good conversation when I have to constantly explain any quips or vocabulary words to them while we're talking. So I totally understand her situation, plus many men are intimidated by smart women. She needs to make a stategy. What does she want in a guy? Itelligence and empathy. She needs to look in places that generally harbor that sort of folk. Here are my suggestions:
*Charity- Volunteer with any group she's interested in and you'll meet empathetic guys.
*College - But on a post graduate level or most of them will be 20 year olds, unless she likes that thing.
*Take up a hobby and join a club- This can be anything from the local church choir, to extreme snowboarding. As long as she loves she will find men there with similar interests.
*Maybe join a book circle
*Attend poetry readings- many of those people are brilliant and intune with their feelings.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

Maybe SHE thinks she's smarter than she really is, otherwise, she would know where to find Mr. Right. Really smart people don't start a relationship pointing out the flaws in the other person. She shouldn't think herself so perfect. She also needs to adjust her attitude and know that there are tons of really wonderful men out there waiting for a nice (not snobby) lady.

Maybe the really smart men are too smart to get hooked up with such a self-centered person.

There are several people in my family who have a Genius IQ and they don't act like that.

Answer 4

Maybe you could take night courses at a nearby college or university. There could be some neat guy there who is also trying to expand his mind. Or, you could do something like e-Harmony and list this IQ or intelligence as a "must have" trait. I think you could have a good relationship with a guy who was wise and discerning, but not necessarily scored with the same IQ as yours--brains is just part of it. Good luck.

Answer 5

Determine where the professional men hang out in her community. For example - where do the attorneys have lunch around the courthouse? Have coffee or lunch in a hospital cafeteria. What bars or restaurants do the local bankers go to ? And believe it or not - your local home improvement store!

Answer 6

maybe at church, work or if you belong to a volunteer group.
not here and not on craig's list. the dating services are not a good place.
I hope you will meet someone eventually.
I actually gave up on dating some months back, too many losers.
Sorry to use such harsh language. but that is what I was seeing.

Answer 7

Eharmony.com or Match.com could help her possibly. Or....she could just wait for Mr. IQ to just waltz into her life by not being so frustrated as to why she has not met anyone yet. She should go to cultural events (opera, museums, lectures etc) frequently and who knows....she just may find the man of her dreams. Besides, 32 is just a number....being old is a state of mind.

Answer 8

Well this is a hard question. I am a man in that age group, so I know how mens can act like idiots in bars (including myself) so I won't advise you to find your soulmate on the bar scene.

Answer 9

there is a book you should read called 'is he mr right?' by mira kirshenbaum. it is an easy to read book i think you will benefit from it, just because your iq's are similar doesnt mean you will be compatible.

Answer 10

this question makes you sound like a complete b****. I'm not just saying that to be mean either, you're acting like the smartest women are smarter than the smartest men