My ex husband and I are apart for over one year. I thought we could get together again. Then he says his?

Question

feelings for me are growing less and less each passing day, BUT........perhaps when we see each other again he may have the feelings back.........notice that we live in different Americas........so, I would just HOP ON a plane and get there to see if he still has feelings for me? Boy......is this TRUE LOVE? Maybe I am better off without him...........to me, true love never dies...........and true love grows fonder when we are apart.....and nothing really breaks a couple apart if there is this kind of true feeling.

Answer 1

Trust your gut. If he were in love with you, he would not need to see you to make sure he really loved you. He's your ex for a reason. Let things lie.

Answer 2

What you are experiencing is all too common with many females today. You "fall in love" with someone you really think you know but do not. You build your dreams on the ideal relationship you would like to have with this person, but you fail to identify the things that are important to you, your goals, your values in life and whether or not you have anything-- other than FEELINGS-- in common. If this man truly loved you, he would not have been satisfied to leave you alone for an entire year (except under extremely dire personal(incarceration) or environmental circumstances). He would have made the arrangements for you to go wherever he is and to stay there with him. You may indeed, have true love for him, but it is obviously, unrequited love of the most painful kind. If you have the financial resources and it will make you feel better to see for yourself what his current attitude toward you is, then that is your prerogative. However, from the sound of what he is saying "feelings for you are growing less and less", it hardly seems worth your money or your time. My advice to you is you will probably be better off without him.
Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

hey love is overrated. relationships are real and practical. if two people are no longer together because something between them doesn't work any longer. either one or both want to find someone new or has changed so much over the course of several years that they no longer are compatible.

love will stay with you since you have spent many intimate years together however, you have to put this relationship behind you. sooner you do it better it is for you.
i have been there and wasted a lot of emotions and time on a dying relationship( husband of 4 years started dating another woman). i was young, professional and had other men interested in me but i couldn't get over my husband. i dwelled on the past, always felt i lacked something or should have been more loving and better wife.
but today looking back, i wish i had loved myself the most. i wish i was selfish and could move on fast like he did.
but he had long list of past flames while he was the only man i ever lived with. so, i guess i understood love differently.

today, i know self love is the best love. always love yourself the most. keep your sanity and force yourself to move on. meet new people, enjoy with friends and cut all contact with your ex.

all the best.

Answer 4

I would stop and take a long hard look at the situation and remember what the reason was that you broke up in the first place. Let him come to you. Hes the one that states that his feelings are getting less and less if soemone is going to break your heart wouldnt you rather have is happen were you have support around you.

Answer 5

I agree with you on how you define "true love".
And it sure doesn't sound like he feels that way in return.
So maybe he's not deserving of "your" love.
Wouldn't you want someone that feels that way about you?
Then don't settle for less, keep looking, you will find it when the time is right.

Good luck to you :)

Phil & Chicago,
I take it your still single and have never felt the feeling of "true" love?
I hope you will one day.
There's nothing else like it ;)

Answer 6

If he's doubting love then all of the characteristics of a healthy relationship are absent. The feelings just aren't there and in order for the feelings to change the person needs to change and be in a different place in their lives....It dosen't sound very promising and remember, you are a person too and you deserve to be respected.....by someone that feels the same way about you that you feel about them! Good luck!

Answer 7

I wonder why you split? If you were to ask both of you separately, would your answers conflict? Maybe he sees things differently now than before. or maybe you do. Things seem like they could work between you once your out of the mix of the day to day life of your old relationship. There was a reason you guys split up. Why do you feel if you were to reunite things would be any different?, I wish you Well.

Answer 8

Ms.Cook, You are divorced for a reason remember that!!! You can never go back it's just not the same and feeling will change. I to have an ex and i don't trust him as far as i could throw him.I soon run him down with my car as to have to see him. He did a lot of bad things to me and what love i had he kill it. Just remember why you got a divorce and don't play your ex's stupid games. A Friend Who Knows.
poppy1

Answer 9

In a fairy-tale world, you would probably be correct. However, we live in the real world. Take a look at all the Hollywood marriages that have shipwrecked because the couples couldn't keep it together while they were apart. How practical is "hopping on a plain?"

Answer 10

There are 2 schools of thought when separated: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And Out of sight, out of mind.
He's an ex, let him stay an ex. Move on.