he's out and really dosen't know how to budget money and he's back on crack, his lil sis loves him, he's sweet to us, but he luvs crack more. i want to help him, i can't..but i can't allow him back home because he steals.
2007-07-08 13:19:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to do what is best for your 12yo. I am sorry about your 29yo, but as you already know there is nothing you can do for him.
2007-07-08 13:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by msims52 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you cannot allow him back home. He would be a terrible influence on his younger siblings. They need to see him for what he is and see his life for what it is. That is best done from a distance. I have raised two grandchildren because my daughter was on crack. I did not let her into the house after I got custody of the children and we had many talks (the children an I) about her life choices. They are now 18 and 21 and wouldn't touch even marijuana with a ten foot pole. The best way to help him is to get him into treatment. Prison is no deterrent, but treatment is. There are state funded treatment facilities if you can't afford it. Talk to him about it and keep talking. When he realizes that if he keeps going the way he is the drug is going to kill him, he will go to treatment. For my daughter it took two separate times, but now she is ok. We still take it a day at a time, because of the relapse she had that we never expected, but I think she will be okay. She now has four years clean and sober. Good luck.
2007-07-08 13:28:33 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a bad idea to let your 12 year old see your 29 year old while he's using. While you can't help your 29 year old's addiction, you can help your 12 year old stay away from that. I am sorry that your son has this addiction, but there is no helping an addict who doesn't want to be helped. By trying to "fix" things by helping him, you're really just enabling him. Tough love is one of the hardest things to do as a mother, but in this case, it's really your only choice. Good luck hun.
2007-07-08 13:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by Missy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to these people, I guess its easy to tell someone else to kick the kid to the curb.
Your his mother and its great you are trying to help.
Call a drug counseling place tomorrow.
Call your local government they may have some type of program he can get into.
Maybe your in a church or there is a church that can help you
You know if he doesn't get help quick he is going back
Don't ask the police for help, they will only start a fight and arrest him.
All you can do is try to help him and let him know you love him Tell him what this is doing to you and where he is going to end up if he doesn't stop.
You are in the worst possible place and you have a tough road ahead
2007-07-08 13:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by G O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what's your question?
You've already assessed the situation. He has to help himself. He has to want to change; you can't do it for him. And why would you want to? You're not his mommy!
You may say he's "sweet" to you, but one of these days that crack is going to make him explode. You cannot put your children in that kind of danger. And you already know he steals.
There is no future with this man, no matter how "sweet" he is. There are plenty of other people in the world, nice people who can also be sweet and kind as well as hold down a job, take care of elderly relatives, give to charities, and do it all with good character by not lying, cheating or stealing.
2007-07-08 13:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by D 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't quite understand what you are asking, are you the sister or the xwife? Either way, you cannot help him until he wants help. You absolutely should not let him into your home. Its tough love. That does not mean you don't love someone. Not at all. It just means you won't be a party to his illness. Clearly the prison term wasn't enough to change him, that is sad. You can't change for him. He has to want that. Keep your distance for the safety of yourself and your children.
2007-07-08 13:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the mind is willing but body is tired. 12 hours is a long shift and obviously the man needs his energy. A healthier diet can improve sexual desire but I guess a permanent solution would be to find a more relaxing job (not necessarily less pay). As for health wise, if your husband never initiate sex or wants sex, then there is something going on. Otherwise, nothing to worry for now.
2016-05-17 05:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a person is on crack, as much as they love their family, they will do things such as stealing to support the habit. you are doing the right thing not letting him back into the house. He needs professional help to beat this addiction. I am sure he does not want this type of bad habit to rub off on his little sister. He is exposing her to that. He needs to quit for himself and his family. You don't want your daughter to think this acceptable. Tough love is in order and one of the consequences is that he has to become clean before seeing his family.
2007-07-08 13:27:29 · answer #8 · answered by mntekor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of an adult who is now 24 and who was addicted to crack and also served time in prison I will say to stand your ground. You can't let him destroy you or yours any further. Let him know you love him always and ask him to please stay away until he decides that he loves life more than meth. Is all you can do.
2007-07-08 13:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to keep your 29 year old far away from your 12 year old. Do not enable your 29 year old. You tell him until he gets help, you can not have him in your life. Tell him when he is ready to get help, you will help him.
My sister is a recovering addict. I know how hard it is to not help them when they are using.
2007-07-08 13:25:16 · answer #10 · answered by happyteacher4u 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be strong, honey. You are doing the right thing by not letting him back. While he's using, that would just enable him and put you and the little one at more risk.
Have you tried to contact your local social services offices?
2007-07-08 13:24:02 · answer #11 · answered by Liam M 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋