is this wrong??

Question

im stuck in a dead end realtionship that my ex is dieing to get out he doesnt want the baby and he wants to move on with his life...i on the other hand feel that if i do have this child it will be extremmly difficult on me and i have no one esle to support me i want to have an abortion and move on with my life until i get married and deffinatley know there is a way i can support a child ...im 25 ....what should i do???

i know he is not the one for me and he will never marry me

Answer 1

Personally, I think abortion should not used as a form of birth control. If you were old enough to sleep together, you were old enough to realize that sex is the leading cause of pregnancy...


You're 25 - not 16. Deal with the consequences of your actions. Get good prenatal care, and if you aren't fit to raise your child, start looking for a good adoptive family to place him with upon birth.

Answer 2

This is such a difficult situation. I read some of the answers that you already have received. I'm 47 I had an abortion when I was younger and now I am in a situation where I can't have children. I would do anything to be able to have a child or to adopt. At the same time, I could not have handled having the child. I had no money and no support.

I believe that women should have the right to choose.

Personally, I must admit that I regret having the abortion. I wish that I had been strong enough to do the much more difficult thing of giving the child up for adoption. I think that there would still be a sadness for the loss but there would also be a joy of knowing that someone else life would be touched in a very special way. There maybe some women who can have abortions and move on with their life and not have it interfere. I have moved on and it did impact my life more than any other event in my life.

This is a decision that I hope will come peacefully to you. I know how difficult it is. Do what you think is right.

Answer 3

Amanda,

I am so sorry that you are in this situation in your life. I cannot tell you what to do, only you can decide what is right for your life. But first things first, it sounds like you need to leave your ex and move on. Surround yourself with positive people, maybe a good church if you can find one, and Definetly some counseling. You need someone to talk to. I know it hurts to leave someone you care for, I'm not sure how long you have been with your ex, but you will survive.

As for abortion, it is something that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. If you can handle the emotional, physical and spiritual pain then you are stronger than a lot of people. But don't do it alone. A lot of women go through abortion and seperation, only to find themselves spiraling down into a dark place that they cannot get out of. A lot of your local churches have singles and womens small groups or will know where to look to find support through this difficult time.

Just remember, if you're at 4 weeks, your still at a very volatile time in your pregnancy. The babies heartbeat has not even started yet, so if you are going to have an abortion do it within the next week and move on. Don't wait until the baby becomes part of what you wake up and get excited about.

BTW lots of single moms have decided to make a run at being a parent even if the dad is not the best. It would be hard, but it is not impossible. There is also the option of adoption.

Anything you decide, I hope you will know that God loves you even when you think that no one does.

Answer 4

Its not the baby's fault for your situation.Can you live with yourself if you abort ?Over 90% of women who have abortions regret it and suffer emotionally through depression.If you honestly cant find a way to raise the baby even though you are a 25 yr old grown woman who should be able to take care of herself by now and not some teenager why not consider adoption?Dont be selfish and take away a life simply because you cant deal dont take the easy way out.Take responsibility for your actions if you new you were in a dead end relationship why did you have sex with him?In all honesty it matters little what the guy wants whenever he sticks his thing in he knows theres a chance just as well as you did.I hope you learn a lesson from this and hopefully not at the expense of your unborn child.Just think of all the couples out there dying to have a baby but cant and you are willing to just throw yours away.Not passing judgement just advising you to think before you act of the big picture here and not just yourself.

Answer 5

You won't be able to have an abortion and "just get on with your life". You will never forget that experience. It will bring future guilt. It is not the baby's fault that you did not wait until you were in a more secure relationship(aka marriage). I say that lovingly. If you are not ready for a baby, there is nothing wrong with that. There are many people who would love to have children(like me). Give it up for adoption. There is a lot less guilt with that option. At least you will know that the child has a chance at a happy life and that you provided that. Next time, wait until you are married to open yourself up to the possibility of children. I wish you and your baby the best!

Answer 6

I am totally against abortion so I would say yes it's wrong. Technically it is your body and you can do what you want, but I don't believe that the baby should die because you can't hang with it.

There are plenty of support agencies in every county, you can get all the financial and emotional help you need.

You don't need to stay with the guy and it's OK to be scared, but I will never, ever think that abortion should be in the equation. You should always take responsibility for your actions. Adoption is also an option, it's better than murder.

Answer 7

I think you have already told us what you should do... you said you do not want this baby... so don't have the baby. You can always put the baby up for adoption there are hundreds of couples who would love to raise your baby. But do not try to raise a child that you didn't want in the first place. The child will suffer and sowill you. Next time use protection!

Answer 8

This is a large problem in the United States, and we need it to stop! Many teens and young adults get abortions. Over 1,000,000 abortions are done in the US alone, each year. To reduce this risk, put into consideration of babies and give them a chance. They want to live! Not be murdered! Every child was put here for a reason, don't stop their chances of being something big - there are many infertile couples looking to adopt and can provide loving homes.

www.americanadoptions.com

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13-14

Answer 9

The decision to have an abortion is a personal one. No one here can tell you to go ahead and have an abortion. It is something that you have to decide whether it is right for you.
There certainly are other options, adoption and single parenting. I would certainly find someone you trust and talk this out with them, try contacting a planned parenthood agency and see if they can counsel you on your decision, whatever it may be. Don't let anybody tell what is right or wrong, do whatever you need to do, nobody can live your life for you so they have no right to tell you what to do. Finally whatever you decide never second guess yourself and never, never let anybody judge you. God bless you and good luck.

Answer 10

First off, leave him. Secondly, don't abort the baby. The baby is in no way at fault for your situation. If you really don't want the baby, give it up for adoption. There are so many people in the world who want a baby and can't have one.