The curtain has closed,
the play now finished.
A sigh emerges,
the audience diminished.
The theatre is swept,
no memories remain.
A script once held excitedly
falls to the floor in vain.
Walls once lit,
now stained and peeling.
This old theatre
is lacking so much feeling.
Where laughter once resided,
there is now silence.
The applause was calmed—
part of Death’s compliance.
Seats once red
Are fading and stained.
Everyone’s giving up—
Old days not regained.
The lights dimmed,
I return for a last glance.
Nothing remains,
Fate’s not giving another chance.
It’s too late—
a lit stage now black.
Nothing can restore the essence
Death made you lack.
It's a rough draft. I didn't edit it or anything.
2007-07-08 12:55:16 · 10 answers · asked by Savannah 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
He was not an actor. I just feel like life is a play so I wanted to use a theatrical theme. I know it's rough, I haven't edited it at all. I just want to know if it's going in the right direction so that I know whether it's worth editing or not.
2007-07-08 13:36:46 · update #1
i think its a great poem, its a bit dark but since your talking about death you cant help but be, my only ????? is was this man you write about somehow involved with stage , shows, drama, an actor???? cause if so, the way it is similar to life and death is amazing, i think you have talent, you should use it, good luck
2007-07-08 13:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by mbpisano 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its a great poem... but why are you asking... shouldnt matter if anyone else likes it. Thats the great thing about poetry. Its open to interpretation just like art. People dont have to like it for it to be an amazing poem.
2007-07-08 20:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by luvmy3clipse2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a sad poem with great meaning..I feel you really put your heart into it. I'm sorry for the loss of this man he must of meant something to you,or you had great respect for him. Job well done.
2007-07-08 20:09:01 · answer #3 · answered by sissy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great as it is except as in a play you should assign a personage to Death. Perhaps Charon(the ferryman) or maybe the Grim reaper.
2007-07-12 17:41:43 · answer #4 · answered by Emissary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shows a very dark view of death and afterlife...is this the message you want to send? Kind of like your saying that life is a waste because it ended in death .....
2007-07-08 20:44:47 · answer #5 · answered by naniannie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it.! It all made sense it went together perfectly. You should take it off of here before some person trys to steal it. You should try to publish it. Very Very touching poem : )
2007-07-08 20:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by fdffhhjyuj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some of the ryhmes were forced and a little cheesy, but I think it evoked enough emotion to be able too ignore that.
I'd work on the rhymes though.
2007-07-08 20:04:54 · answer #7 · answered by Jeska 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It IS really good!!!!!
But some of it seems like I have read it before, Not that I think you stole it or anything. Just something is very familiar.
Very Very Good!
2007-07-08 20:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's very rough. The rhymes are forced. I sympathize with the sentiment, though.
2007-07-08 20:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is your thoughts and memories. it is alright
2007-07-08 20:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by lek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋