My ex husband does not like my current boyfriend. When i told him that it wasn't my problem since we are divorced, he is now trying to drag our kids in to the mix. He tells the kids to monitor my boyfriend and keep notes of his behavior towards me and them. He also wants a document saying he can take the kids away if he dosent like my behavior or the behavior my boyfriend. He cites the fact that my boyfriend has alcohol in his fridge, and that his friends drink also. But i make sure that when the kids are at my house that they know that those drinks are for adults only. My ex also wants to challange if my boyfriend is fit to be around children. Well my boyfriend has kids of his own and they are very well adjusted from what i can see. In fact he even has full custody of one of them and he lives with us with no problems. I try to keep my exes out of my current realtionships as i don't care who he dates as long as they don't hurt my kids. The thing is my boyfriend has been nothing but
2007-07-08 12:48:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nice to my kids and treats them well. I don't think it's fair that my boyfriend should have to be subjected to this. Whats my ex's deal? Does he have the right to question my relationships in a custody battle?
2007-07-08 12:49:50 · update #1
No he does,'t have the right to question your relationship, since you are divorced.
He is probably jealous that you have a boyfriend.
His questioning the kids is wrong. I would make notes and dates, of things he tells the kids , date, time, etc...
He's playing with their heads and thats not right either.
If it was an abusive or emotionally abusive relationship, and if he had grounds for it, he would of done something already.
He's harrassing you.
Keep your own notes on how he harrasses you, what he tells you, etc....Conversations can be recorded and will hold up in court as long as one of the parties to the conversation knows about it. IE-you
I had an ex who did all of this, stalked me, etc..
2007-07-08 12:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Ask the dad who got his kids full time after their mom's live-in beau was found to be a child molester. Not hypothetical, I knew these little kids when they lived with the molester. They were really quiet, but when they moved, my preschooler insisted that they'd taught him all the curse words he suddenly started using and we asked where he'd learned. When I found out about the molestation, I knew he wasn't just making excuses.
You say this bf is "current," what about the next one and the one after that? Your ex has reason to be concerned about the man that lives in your house with his children, no matter who he is.
Lots of kids get drunk on, take pills or smoke cigarettes that are "for adults only." My 11 year-old learned to smoke at his friend's house while the parents were working.
None of this means that your bf is a bad guy or that your ex isn't being a d**k, but most of your arguments are specious and won't hold up in a court where the children's interests are really the issue. The lady above is right--you're setting a horrible example for your kids and his kid. You're also shooting yourself in the foot over custody. If this guy is great and permanent, marry him--the judge will give you a lot more slack if the beer is in the frig in the house of a couple.
2007-07-08 20:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep, current relationship IS relevant. If he has any reason to think that your boyfriend is not suitable to be around your kids and can prove such to the courts, your visitation will be affected (not taken away, but you'll likely get supervised visits). The fact that you're shacked up with another man will not help your case - courts don't like to see it. Why are you, by the way? Can't you date him and live separately until you're ready to marry? I'm not normally a prude about this type of thing, but you're putting your kids in an awkward situation. It's a bit selfish, don't you think?
He's doing what a good parent should do - he's watching out for his kids.
2007-07-08 19:52:05 · answer #3 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is Your Current Realtionships Relevant In A Custody Battle With Your Ex Spouse?
Yes.
Shacking up with some dude and his kids doesn't make you a very good role model. Isn't that hurting your kids?
2007-07-08 19:50:28 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They're HIS children too and so yes, he has a right to know who is in their lives.
The really pitiful thing here is that you're both putting the kids through this...you, with a new shack-up boyfriend and your ex too. And when your ex moves in with some shack-up honey you think has some questionable habits that will be around your kids all the time....then you can make judgements.
2007-07-08 19:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not unless your boyfriend is hurting your kids or being a bad influence. Sounds like your ex is taking advantage of the custody deal.
2007-07-08 19:51:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can question all he wants but it will not make a difference. You are in a new relationship as long as he is not dealing drugs, or has a police report out on him it makes no difference. The man is reaching for straws whether he likes your behavior or not does not matter in the eyes of he law.. What he is doing is trying to be in control of you.
2007-07-08 19:56:36 · answer #7 · answered by Pengy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one ever said divorce is easy open your eyes and get ready for it
i have been divorced for 2 years now and my ex still drags me to court over my new gf and i dont take my son around the gf till i no its gonna last longer than a month
2007-07-08 19:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by rage6996 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋