MY significant other, (I'm gay btw, but don't use that against me or what not, i really need help with this), is socially retarted. No sense of fashion, clue, can't tell bad vibes from good vibes, or innocense from guilt, or rich from poor, or anything really. He's totally oblivious. All he cares about is getting from point A to point B, doing his thing, TOTALLY absentminded when it comes to ANYTHING. If someone had a mercedes, and someone else had an old junk hooptie, he wouldn't even care or really notice the difference. If someone was wearing quality clothes and was a quality class person, he couldn't really sense how those people are different ffrom someone who was the opposite.
How do I make this work? Is this a form of stupidity or something? He's otherwise smart, works with computers, yet he has NO clue about people. Though when it comes to people who he feels may try to steal me away from him, he gets very jealous, and knows them inside out, and tells me epic stories. HELP!
2007-07-08 11:39:38 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I would dismiss him as just a social retard, and I guess there are people like that and that's a cruel in a way, but what keeps me from doing so is the fact that there are times when he is actually quite bright about people/things, etc.
So I'm not sure if he's just that way when he doesn't care, so it comes across as he has no clue. That may be the case.
But it's frustrating for me because what comes SOOOOOOO Naturally to me, and so easy, is this huge effort for him.
I can size people up and read them like a book usually in a first few seconds. I'm really good like that, and I think that's a form of intelligence, who knows, maybe I'm just really "street" smart. Anyways, he's not like that at ALL. Just when he really wants/has to be I guess.
It's irritating. Someone please help me because I feel like it's apples and oranges here.
2007-07-08 11:42:47 · update #1
you are apples and oranges. Alot of highly intelligent and intellectual people lack what some of us call social graces and street smarts. (I talk from personal experience ) Enjoy the differences in your personalities. I call mine a little anal retentive. truth is he has taught me to take people at face value and not to be so judgemental - who cares whether you drive a mercedes or a sunfire - probably only the guy driving the mercedes. Try to be open minded enough to learn from your partner and live every day with a good sense of humour
2007-07-08 12:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you overestimate your abilities and underestimate his.
What does this matter? There must be a lot of things you love about him to be with him in the first place, so enjoy the differences. Do you want him to be just like you? Wouldn't that be rather dull? Or are you really saying you are embarrased by him? If that's the case, then maybe you need to think why you are with him in the first place.
2007-07-08 11:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by cobra 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Birds of a feather flock together. It is erroneously seen as opposites being attracted when it is the subject of the focus which is the attraction factor. Wanting or not wanting, liking or not liking, have nothing to do with it except that it can provide passion or energy to the attraction.
2007-07-08 15:05:31 · answer #3 · answered by canron4peace 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your significant other doesn't sound like he wants to play games, so why don't you have this discussion with him? You said you can read people....what did you miss about this guy before you hooked up with him? I wish I could find a straight guy like him. Sorry about our luck.
2007-07-08 11:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think he just dosent judge people if any one has a problem i think it would be you thats just me though
2007-07-08 11:54:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋