Wife had an affair for 9 months. How do I get over that?

Question

Have a little boy and don't want to be a part time Dad. She regrets the whole thing and has horrible guilt etc. How do I get through this?

Answer 1

dude...
this will be something that you probably won't forget, but U can forgive.

If she loves you & you love her, make this a growing point in your married life.

If you forgive her and try to make things better between you two, I guarantee that she will LOVE YOU THE MORE!!!

talk things over with her. ask her of her needs. try not to be too judgmental. be honest and fair with her.

also, try not to use this affair thing AGAINST her. if you love her and she loves you, YOU can do this and make all better.

Just think MAN, she is still with you.

build a better life now and talk things over, OK...
don't give up just yet.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

When i found out about my husband having an affair it was absolute torture i was so out of it anyone could of did anything to me and i wouldn't of none. It hurt so bad i couldn't think past an hour without wanting to die.I remember being in the shower and crying so hard and praying to God to please don't let me wake up tomorrow because i didn't want to live with all this plan. I can say i truly know what a broken heart feels like.Something inside of you hurts so bad and if that isn't your heart then it should be.This happened to me 10 years ago and there hasn't been one day sense it's happened that i haven't thought about it. I'm crying now just thinking about it. The only answer i can give you is hold on to your memorizes from before the affair happened and the love you once felt towards your wife and the love you felt when your son was born. I love my husband but it will never be that close love i once felt if you know what i mean. I won't let him get that close to me again Good luck with your marriage .

Answer 4

It takes time to get over something like this. dont put pressure on yourself to start feeling it all in one day. choose to trust her, and to talk to her about your feelings. also, know that it's not all on you, and perhaps there are things that she can make an effort to do that will help you. (even just telling you more how she loves you, or setting aside more time to spend in each others' arms...) counselling could be the key because it helps you open up, and also the counsellor is there to keep the conversation on track instead of either one of you going off on "all the things" that caused this and hurt you. There is a solution for every problem that you have you just have to work together and compromise to find it. Good luck to you. and congratulations for wanting to try, it's not always easy to let go of the past and move on.

Answer 5

9 ****** months?
I'm sure she feels bad now that its out in the open, but for nine months all was good, nine months of intimacy with another man.

Get counseling.
You need to really soul search on this one.
Dont create the super angry household by trying to live with
this and you can't.

When I was younger my folks went through the same thing and stuck it out for a few more years, it was a nasty violent few years, screaming, breaking ****, alchohol, and a spiril of misery for everyone.

My father never quite forgave my mother, and she was sick of living with the guilt.

The divorce was no better at that point, broken phones, screams about child support. Whatever you do just keep it civil in front of the kid.

Answer 6

You DON'T get over it so much as "get past" it. You have to make the decision to move forward. If you love her, and you want to stay together, you have to give her a real shot at it. If it is something you don't think you can handle, you should seek counseling (with her of course) and take it from there.
It's hard to get through something like that, and you have to be willing to put it behind you and trust her again.

Answer 7

You're just going to have to let it go...don't dwell on it. She probably won't do it again if she sincerely has horrible guilt. Sometimes a person doesn't realize how wonderful what they have at home really is (that's you!) until they do something like this. Let it be a challege, in the past, that has made your relationship stronger in the ppresent...

ALSO....IT IS NOT RIGHT TO SEEK FULL CUSTODY AND YANK A CHILD AWAY FROM HIS/HER MOTHER JUST BECAUSE SHE MADE A MISTAKE IN HER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU...I GUESS NO ONE HERE ON YAHOO ANSWERS HAS EVER MADE A MISTAKE...

Answer 8

Family Counseling

Answer 9

You don't. And you may never trust her again. She broke her vows and you and your boy are going to suffer for it. If you decide to keep her, and it is now your decision, make it separate rooms. It's really hard to sleep in the same bed with someone you don't respect and don't even want to see right now, let alone want to be with.

You probably don't even want to be polite to her, but you have to for your son's sake. Get a lawyer today and start setting up custody just in case.

Answer 10

CK sorry for what your going through. Mine did as well for 2 months and have 3 kids but the thing that you need to do is really think, will you ever forget what she did? could you be intimate with her knowing that she done it with another man. This were in my mind, and yes he was feeling with so much guilt that he told me that he had deep feelings for this married woman.
I will forgive him one day but I can not forgive him for loving another woman then come back to me.....I didn't do no wrong to him so for your sake please really think this through for the sake of your baby............