she yells at my kids, fights with her son(my husband) and gets upset at me for every little thing I do wrong. I dont know if I have the heart to ask her to leave, I just dont know if I can stand the stress any longer, what should I do?
2007-07-08 10:06:18 · 15 answers · asked by What's up doc? 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Ok so what if we have discussed things together with husband, mom and I. They seem willing to continue on in this situation, and I am the only one wanting things to change. I feel like asking my husband to chose between his mom or me is my only way out. Is that crule and am I over reacting?
2007-07-10 07:02:11 · update #1
OH GOD! you poor woman. no. she shouldn't live there. you need to live on your own and learn to raise ur family the way you want it done. you should sit her down and tell her the way you feel as nicely as possible and tell her you would like your space and such. if you can get ur husband to back you up that's even better. unless she is incapable of living on her own she shouldn't be living with you. unlike that another person said, don't blame it on your kids. what happens when she says shes fine with the kids? its not about the kids its about you and your family i think you should talk with your family and come to a conclusion like that. plus not confronting her about the issue but forcing her to leave will not score you any points with her. I'm sorry and i hope everything works out alright.
2007-07-08 10:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by flare1234567 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got along tremendously with my inlaws, who are unfortunately both deceased now. Even though we got along very well, and they were great additions to my life, I don't think that we could have resided in the same household.
I do not think that having anyone in your household that yells at your children, fights with your husband and generally is making a great deal of negativity in your household, and is very upsetting is a very good thing.
I think that you and your husband need to be having a couple of discussions about this situation immediately by yourselves first; and then with your mother in law once you both have come up with a solution.
I think that a nice little home or apartment near your family would be a good solution. You need to keep her in your lives, but she is a bit too in at the present time. All families need their own space and do not need the pressure of an additional parent in the picture. You all deserve to live as stress-free and hassle -free as possible.
I wish you and your family the best.
2007-07-08 10:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your problem here is that there are no boundaries. Your husband like most, is in the middle because it is his mother and your his wife. Both you and your husband need to decide on who and how you are going to discipline your children. 2nd you are not a child and I don't know why you need to be told what to do. Both you and your husband should let her know that there is to much stress on all. Everyone needs to get along and RESPECT one another. House rules are being set up, you would like her impute. So things can run smoothly. If she can not agree then work on the issue she can not agree on. I am sure she would like peace as well. .
2007-07-10 07:15:58 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noooooo!
She is putting stres on your marriage. You are stressed out, the kids are stressed out and your hubby is stressed out. Not good for a nurturing family environment.
Your husband should be the one asking her to leave. He should protect you all from this stress. Do you want to be another divorce statistic?
Also, with her there, how are you going to raise your children the way you want to? or even cook/clean YOUR house the way you like it? She will always see your husband as her little boy and you as another child.
Parents should idealy not live with their children once they're married.
All the best of luck!
2007-07-10 06:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by pienk007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband and kids come first. You need to tell your MOM-IN-LAW to leave. But, before you do that you need to talk to your husband about the situation and let him know how you feel. Talk to you your kids about the situation as well. It is tough enough to make a family work without having someone from the extended family making things tougher on you and your family.
2007-07-08 10:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Having your mother in law living with you is a huge mistake!!! Think about what your saying...she yells at your children, fights wth her son and gets upset with you for every little thing. IT'S YOUR HOME! She is causing stress in your marraige and your family. She is behaving disrespectfully in your home. It's time for her to go. You will find the help she gave you around the house is not worth it.
2007-07-08 10:18:39 · answer #6 · answered by Mia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under the circumstances, it isn't wise to have her there. Does she help with expenses also? Has she lived with you ever since you were married? Does she have any income? Could she be working? What does your husband say? Are there any other siblings who could ask her to come for a visit? The stress is not good for any of you, including her.
2007-07-08 10:16:16 · answer #7 · answered by RE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you have more stress than necessary in your household. She may help out, but she is hurting the household. You could try having a talk with her first, lay down some ground rules and tell her to stick with them or she cannot live there. Your husband also needs to be there when you talk to her and both of you need to tell her about what is going on. You should stick to your guns for your sakes, and your children's sakes too. It cannot be healthy for them or yourselves, to live like that.
2007-07-08 10:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by omorris1978 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and let him know how his mother staying there is becoming stressful on you & the rest of the family.Let him knows that she has to go, give her an 30 day notice so she can make other arrangment forf a place to stay. God Luck.
2007-07-08 11:27:01 · answer #9 · answered by pleasant 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god...and you havent killed any one yet?????...Just sit her down when every thing is calm and tell her it would be best if you helped her find her own place,,,,because you know the kids are driving her crazy and you dont want to put her threw that....and a woman needs her privacy and calm a nd quiet time...and youll still be there for her and you really appreciate ALL her help,but you know she wants a place of her own,,,,for her own sanity....put it all on you and the kids and she wont feel thrown out...
2007-07-08 10:13:30 · answer #10 · answered by Betty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋