why do we hurt the ones we love???

Answer 1

mostly not intentionally.
because the ones we love are the people who loves us just the same or sometimes more, they are often vulnerable to everything we do. thats why it's called a relationship, we have to keep it in balance and harmony. understanding each others flaws and never using it against each other. understanding is much better than acceptance, you can accept his shortcoming but never trully understand.
and even if you try your best you can never fully please anybody even the ones you love, just be yourself, but also be selfless.

Answer 2

Of more interest to me is why we love the ones that hurt us. Intentionality has to be considered--I don't believe we do purposely hurt our loved ones, but it happens. I just can't fathom, though, why many people keep going back or stay with people who are hurting them intentionally. We're suckers for punishment? It's romanticized in popular culture? But if any of us intentionally hurt those people who are always there for us, the ones that love us, then what hope is there of societies getting along? I don't think I've ever purposely hurt someone I love, but I know some people I love have been hurt by my decisions. No matter how we try, we can't please everyone and ourselves too. I think it's just the way life is--we unintentionally do things that may hurt others, but as long as we're not doing it purposefully, there's not much we can do about how others react.

Answer 3

We do what we do. It might hurt someone who loves us because they care about our actions in ways that strangers don't. (This caring is usually reciprocal, so we love those people like they love us.) Thus, we hurt the ones we love because it's pretty hard to hurt people who don't know us or care about us. They don't care what we do, and so aren't hurt by our actions. Similarly, we don't feel any desire to cause pain to strangers, because they don't mean anything to us. It's the emotional connection we feel toward a person that makes them relevant to us.

Answer 4

Why would we bother hurting someone we don't care much about? Hurting *can be* a kind of warped sharing.

Maybe, also, it's because we're the most connected to them, and them to us. Whatever we feel, we want them to feel it, too -- even pain: The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Answer 5

The ones we love tend to be the ones we're around the most. So when we lash out they're the ones we have no qualms about doing it around.

I've tended to minimize this as I've aged and learned tact. I also have people around me whom I can be myself around now. They don't misunderstand me.

My mom, whom I don't live by now still misunderstands me. As a consequence she gets her feelings hurt. I can't see things through her eyes, therefore it's harder to explain things that bother us about each other. With my mom I tend now to talk about nothing of substance, ie. "How's the weather? Great! How's Alabama? Great!." I can never be close to my mom as I once was because she's easily offended by things. It sort of gets in the way. It's sad, but I'd rather be able to talk to my mother than have her upset with me.

I digress, but there it is.

Answer 6

I don't think we intentionally try to hurt our loved ones. I think sometimes we just get so wrapped up in our own issues we become selfish and forget what our decisions or words will do to others.

Answer 7

The person who comes up with this ansewer is gonna wind with one of those prizes they give out in Sweden.There are myriad reasons why we do this,usually in a back-handed way of trying to keepm us from getting hurt,they do the opposite.After all.who can push your buttons(and vis versa)better than someone who knows you well

Answer 8

Dysfunction. When we are consumed with what is not us it controls are actions. Remember, we can do anything we want to as long as we don't hurt anybody, and that includes ourselves. When we hurt another, we are also hurting ourself.

Answer 9

Because it's impossible to hurt a stranger. Unless, of course, you hit him over the head with something.

Answer 10

we do hurt the people we love they hurt them self. they have a tendency to live in the past. They have tendency to control us trough guilt trips and other means they use. we have to learn to forgive them for what they do and are. They do not want to accept the reality of our life.