My husband and I went to a party for one of his coworkers. It was outside and we were there about an hour when my husband got up from the table and asked if any one wanted to play bags. I was up from my chair and said I would like to but he said this other coworker was going to play and she was still sitting down in her chair. So she went and played with them. 2 hours later my husband comes back to the table. He left me there for two hours with people I don't know all talking about work and I was left out of most of the conversation. I am just wondering after three games of bags not once did he come ask me if I wanted to play! If I was OK! If I needed anything! I am just mad cause this is coming from a guy who just asked me to give him a month to prove to me he respects me and doesn't want me to leave him. Would you be mad?
2007-07-08 09:19:08 · 51 answers · asked by confused one 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah. He was clearly insensitive....as for dumping him, yeah. I'd consider it.
2007-07-08 09:24:18 · answer #1 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset. Not only should you be upset with your husband, you should be upset with yourself. First and foremost, your husband is not only disrespectful, but during this party, get together, or whatever the **** you want to call it, he was being a jerk and a complete Asshole. Leaving you alone at a get together in which you don't know anyone is totally wrong. You were either not thinking straight or totally helpless to continue to stay at that party while your husband continued to have a good time. You could have easily took a cab home, walked home, called a friend, anything would have been better than being uncomfortable in that situation. Your husband probably was doing more than playing " bags" with this other woman. Are you sure the game that they were " PLAYING " wasn't " Teabaging " ? ( It is a sexual game, played with the man's testicles in case you didn't know.) He definitely did not want you around if he left you alone for 2 hours. That is indeed strange. i wonder, did he try to talk you out of coming with him to this get together. Either way, you have a serious problem that you need to deal with. Your husband was being a Jerk !!!!!!
2007-07-14 17:18:33 · answer #2 · answered by umcgpd5o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK I read alot of the answers here, and almost every one is right but there is a sequence here. First, he was disrespectful by not asking you first to be his partner in this game (Whatever it is). If it had been me the minute he asked someone else without asking me first, I would have calmly called a friend or cab and walked out of the party. When he got home I would have had a pillow and blanket on the couch for him with a note stating that I needed some time to contemplate the errors of HIS ways plus his disrespect. I truly don't think this man is capable of understanding the wrong he did... but if he did..it was intentional and that is unforgivable. It is a shame that some people never understand the consequences of their actions till the well runs dry. Oh and going out and "muling it" would only be disrespect for yourself and teach no one a lesson.
2007-07-15 14:41:32 · answer #3 · answered by GramsMel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might be mad and talk to him later about how I wanted to play 'bags' too (I don't actually know what game that is). But his answer would probably be that you should have gotten up and joined the game on your own. You could have just excused yourself and said, 'I think I'll join the game.'
Maybe what irritated you the most was that you were left with people you don't know who were talking about work. The thing is, that's what coworkers do and it is very boring for other people.
2007-07-16 02:42:54 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not going to jump on the band wagon with most of the posters in here.
I won't give you the feel good, your right pat on the back that your hoping for and expecting.
You ever sit there and think possibly that he is just being a guy and a lot of the problems that your marriage is having is caused by yourself?
Get with the program lady, this is a marriage and it takes two active participants. He is not your child and it is not for you to control his actions, when he married you he accepted you for who you were. And it would seem that you never returned the favor, too many times women marry a man and expect him to change into the person that she wants him to be, and then when he doesn't she wants to run off or drag him to some counseling and do everything else in her power to turn him into the man that she expects him to be.
Too often a woman lets her insecurities and petty jealousy rule them and thier relationships. Oh he isn't doing this, he doesn't love me. Oh he's doing that he must be cheating on me. blah blah blah. Ever stop a moment and think that everything you are doing is creating an oppresive environment that no man in his right mind would want to be around? Accept him for who he is and make an effort to let him do the things he wants and allow him some freedom. You might actually end up surprised and he just might come around seeking you out and wanting to do things with and for you.
Just remember contrary to what you might think, it is not all about you.
2007-07-15 19:37:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, one time I went to a wedding reception with my first husband. I was visiting with a group of ladies and later that evening when nearly everyone was gone I started wondering where my husband was and I found him sitting alone in an empty room. I didn't intend to abandon him, but he was very hurt by what he percieved as such.
I could have taken more interest in his goings-on earlier that evening and would have sacrificed social time that I hardly ever got to enjoy (I was a FT undergrad student at the time). Or, he could have sought me out and joined the conversation - he knew all these women.
Respect is a two-way street. I can understand your feelings are hurt, but be more pro-active in your approach with him and he'll reciprocate. If you end your marriage over this incident then you've not allowed yourself the opportunity to become involved in the solutions that will hold you both together.
Good luck.
2007-07-14 20:46:02 · answer #6 · answered by pinktink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be gone!!!! Watch what he does, don't listen to what he says is gonna change. If you see the change, then it is real. If you do not see the change, his talk was worth absolutely nothing. Just telling you what you want to hear. Having a tiny glimpse of what you said, about him changing for you a month ago...I wouldn't have been sitting there in the party when he finally did decide to come back to you. I've been in 2 marriages, and been out for a long time, I've learned more than I want to admit. Get out while you are still holding onto some kind of self-esteem. Or before he becomes actively abusive. In case you didn't notice, what he did at the party was abusive emotionally. You don't deserve it. GET OUT!!!
may Peace be with you always
2007-07-13 12:12:17 · answer #7 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk!!!
Look, you need to stop with the self denial and realize the truth.
If at all possible I would have left the party, not only did he disrespect you, He did this in front of all his co-workers.
And sadly the possible reality is this is minor compared to what really is going on under all the facade.
I would not wait a month...
He treats you bad because he CAN!!..You have allowed this behavior.
You need to feel good about yourself and get your
self respect back.
Seems to me this is not your first post concerning your problematic husband.
Trust me, When you start to feel good about yourself and have some self esteem you will not spend your time spinning your wheels. You'll just leave him in the dust!!
This is not only YOUR relationship, This is your husbands relationship also..And it seems you are carrying the majority of the weight to keep it going. I wouldn't do that anymore.
You were the only person at the party that really mattered.
I'm fairly certain he has never put you ahead of himself, he's self centered
And to add insult to injury he spent his time at the party with another woman.
My biggest question is why are you still there?
2007-07-16 00:45:46 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel and Nancy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question? Since the party was work related was he trying to network and get in with key personnel? And what is bags? He still should have at least come back to check on you. Did you explain to him how you felt. Sometimes people have to be taught how to express love. His intentions may not be to leave you by yourself or act insensitive. And he may need to be taught exactly how it feels. Is he a outgoing person where you are more of an introvert? There are always a lot of uncertainty involving a relationship especially if you are thinking of leaving. But life is too short to be miserable especially if you are in a marriage.
2007-07-15 21:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by ugcj10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he should have never left you alone for two hours. Even if a coworker was going to play why couldn't you have gone and watched? He is not trying to give you the respect that you need.
2007-07-16 08:11:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man I know better to not include my girlfriend. I feel he has a big lack of respect for you. Maybe he has a thing for this woman at the party? I enjoy having my girlfriend around,when she wants me there. We are kind of in the same situation. I'm ignored all the time. think it might be a good idea to talk to your husband with out using the "you" word. That would be an attack. You can tell him that you were hurt,because you were not invited. If he loves you,truly loves you,he will listen
Good luck!
2007-07-08 09:27:53 · answer #11 · answered by bigbro.rm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋