Can you pls share your stories with me of a boyfriend/fiance/husband who was immature and selfish and refused to change and then you broke up and he a few days later or so after thinking asked you back and actually changed his behaviours??? Does my man just need space to realize I'm the best thing in his life and we love eachother more than anything (in our case, his pot smoking). Pls share or give me some advice. Thanks.
2007-07-08 08:51:10 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I have both left and come back. We've changed over the years. It's not an overnight transformation. He has to be willing to change and be accountable for changes with out getting angry or upset. If he wants to make it work - let it be his move.
2007-07-08 10:02:14 · answer #1 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different but in my experience, and I am 41, when someone needs a "break", they are done. By the time he grows up, you will probably not have feelings for him anymore. Sometimes men miss you and come back and promise to change and yet within a month are back to the same behavior. I have a cousin that has been married for 16 yrs. They have 2 kids and her husband is an idiot. She supports the family and he is a total drunk. No one can figure out why she is with him. He got sober for a few months so she took him back. The other day, he called us and was on a 3 day binge. He does not want to make the change. I would not wait. Move on.
2007-07-08 15:59:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
this is only a guess...but if I were you, I wouldn't act in a hurry to take him back..there are worse things in life than not having a bf/husband. And one of them is having a bf/husband who takes you for granted, that you will always be there no matter what he does. don't shut the door, but .... "I'll think about it" will do nicely. Then, if he does not start chasing you hard, he is not the guy for you. Too many men want space AFTER the conquering...that is what it is all about..conquering. So don't be conquered every. When he acts like this, go on with your life as if it doesn't effect you in any way. He will be left wondering why you are not effected. He will come to the conclusion that you were not "as caught" as he thought ...and he will start all over again with the chase. If his life is going up in a cloud of smoking 420, then I would seriously think twice about this...420 reduces drive and ambition...not exactly what I would want in a mate who was supposed to support my kids...think very carefully about what you are doing.
2007-07-08 16:02:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is immature and selfish, this is part of his character, and who he is. he may pretend to change especially if he gets in a mess and needs u, but don't hold your breath waiting for a change. if he is a pot smoker and your not, it can't really work, because while one partner is out looking for pot, his whole life consumed with finding it, spending his money foolishly, and the other partner wants a normal life, and needs a straight partner, it usually means your both on different paths in life, and it won't work out unfortunately to your satisfaction. not in the real world anyway.
2007-07-08 19:22:07 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll come back, but back with his pot and some excuse as to why he needs it. You might be the best thing in his life but that does not mean he will change. Sorry have seen it too many times in my life, in fact watching it now with one of my children and their so called other. Sad thing is you will probably take him back anyhow.
2007-07-08 16:07:49 · answer #5 · answered by Pengy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋