My husband has abandoned me but he has returned!!!?

Question

My husband abandoned me about 5 weeks ago we also have 4 children and I am pregnant with our 5th child. He comes to my house and apologizes and says that he was being a coward and he is so sorry. I do not trust him anymore because this is the 5th time that he has abandoned me and I am not going to fall for his fake apology. I think that he is just being nice because he knows that we have a court date coming up on July 24th and he is trying to get me to change my mind. I am going to court no matter what because I need to have that security for me and my children.
It is so hard to forgive someone who keeps doing the same thing consistently. I am not going to fall for his crap and that is final. Do you think that I am overracting? If yes, why? I do not think that I am overracting because when someone keeps doing the same thing over and over they are being disrespectful.
I do want him to be here for his children because it is going to be hard for me to do it alone.

Answer 1

if the trust is gone so is the relationship, bc a relationship with out trust is not a relationship at all anymore...it sucks to be caught in a cycle like that but only you can break it before it causes damage that cannot be fixed

Answer 2

Actually you have answer the question yourself already. It is very hard for us to forgive someone who is consistently doing the same thing over and over again. However if you want your husband back just bcoz of the kids, I feel that it may be another mistake. No doubt you may find it diffcult to cope with it alone but if your husband have records of abandoning you and the kids, he will just do it again. By then you get hurt another time and it will alos affect the kids upbringing too. Nevertheless the final decision lies in your hand. Think over carefully and decide what is the best way out for you and the kids.

Answer 3

Do i think you are over reacting honey, you should of acted two kids back not to mention the one you are carrying.Your right about him trying to fool you into thinking everything is great and he is back because he loves you.The only thing this man loves is sex.He could talk you into anything any man that can convince a woman that he loves her and he has made a mistake and it won't happen again but it does over and over again and again.Is this a pattern with him to get you preg. and go out and find a different piece of a s s then come home like nothing is wrong. I'm sorry but i call it like i see it and i can see right through this man it's just a shame you couldn't until now.

Answer 4

I am thrilled you are sticking by your guns!! You will be amazed how much respect he will have for you after you do what you have to do.
As for him coming and going well that may be your next challenge. I can understand how you need him because of the kids but it's because of the kids you may have to let him go. It's good to have a Dad at home it's bad to have a bad example of how to be a man.
You will have it hard being alone with the kids but the kids will grow and you will have their love & families before long. I know I have grand children & a great husband. It is hard when they are young but then so are you.

Answer 5

Are you wanting someone to say you are over-reacting? He keeps leaving you because you are letting him ! Don't allow any person to treat you and your children with such deep disrespect!! You deserve better than that.
The one thing in life that I have come to realize is that you are never alone. You always have yourself! This man does not deserve you and you need to end this cycle of emotional abuse. Yes, he is the father of your children and should always be allowed to be part of their lives. But, honey, you don't need him and he obviously doesn't really want you. If he did want you, he would be there for you 24/7 , not when it is only convient for himself!

Answer 6

Well, it appears that you've already made up your mind to let him stay for his children and your inability to make a go of it yourself. Child support can help. He has forgotten his vows, possibly cheated on you and you keep taking him back. That's why he does it. Don't let him back in this time, unless you don't mind being treated so disrespectfully and being there for his convenience should he feel like making his way home. It shouldn't matter if you have one child or five. He's left one time for every time you've been pregnant, what's up with that?

Answer 7

if this has become a pattern of behavior out of him he is trying to sway your decision to go to court, go forward with it, sounds as if he is the type of man who really doesn't want responsibility, and he is probably cheating on u also, but maybe the relationship didn't work out so now he is back on your doorstep. they say a bad penny always returns. look at what he has done in the past to u, and u will be able to tell what he will do in the future.

Answer 8

You are doing the right thing, it is ok to forgive someone but that does NOT mean you have to trust them again.

Go forward with your court date, you are right, you have to look out for you and your children, not giving much thought to him because of his actions.

He is just paying the price for the actions he has taken.

Stay strong!

Answer 9

Well yeah and he should be there for his children but you cant make him just like when he left. This guy sounds like he is gonna do what he wants to do...whatever is conventant for him. I say your 100 percent right on this and dont take him back.

Answer 10

ummm....do you need security for you and your children or money? sounds like a possible money issue. Maybe he is feeling overwhelmed with five kids and working and whatever else... try professional help or marriage counseling. I think the better question is why is he doing what he is doing. He doesnt know what else to do but run and hide...its obvious....