I met my fiance a little over 3 years ago. shortly after we got together he told me that he was working on getting a divorce. i thought to myself, ok, no big deal, this will only take a few months to get that taken care of. as of june 2007 we have been together for 3 years, we also have a 20 month old little girl together. i am starting to wonder...why hasnt he taken care of his divorce yet...he claims it money, but there have been several time that money wouldnt have been an issue. i have often heard, why pay for the cow when you're getting the milk for free. i do love him, but im starting to wonder, why hasnt he taken care of the problem yet? i need advise on what to do, should i leave, should i stay? should i say something? i dont know.
2007-07-08 05:13:08 · 14 answers · asked by anewstart18 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Simple. "Honey, I really care for you. I also care for myself and my child. I have decided that I can no longer be involved with a married man unless the married man is my husband. So, you need to pack your things and move out. When you have a finalized divorce and are ready to discuss a serious committment, please feel free to call. I might not be available, but you never know."
Then you listen to none of his excuses and escort him to the door.
Either he will divorce or you will find a man who is ready to commit to you.
I filed my own divorce from my first husband for the total cost of about $300.00. We agreed on custody of our kids and there was no real property to split since we had been seperated for over a year. The divorce was final 3 MONTHS after I filed the papers. If he really wanted to divorce, he would have one by now.
2007-07-08 05:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its hard to answer a question when we don't have the big picture. Like what kind of man he is to you and your baby? Is he is till seen the other one and what is the relationship there ? But one thing for sure I can tell you. Don't let that ruin your life. Get the bottom of it with dignity by all means. Don't waist your time and life wondering why or is it. So my dear find out what this whole thing is? Don't leave him like that. When you don't know what to do stay put, breath, figure out, then work up on it. Talk to him clearly what your feelings are. If you don't tell him what you feel and want he is not going to guess even with clues. That way you too can work out something about it. May be there is much more that you don't know about. So be nice to him and get the information not arguing and fighting with him, that will back him off. So just get it bit by bit if it takes. You can do it. Don't live your life wondering. I hope everything goes well for you.
2007-07-08 05:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by tinybaby0120 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh My, Thats a BIG NO NO! My hubby was working on getting a divorce too. We were 2 months into the relationship when it finally happen. There is no reason for him to still be "married" to this other woman. Does he have feelings for her? Well they try and get back together? These are the questions I would be asking myself. What reason does he have that he cant break that tie between he and his wife? Sounds to me that he doesnt want to divorce her if its been longer thant 3 yrs....give me a break. Something is stoping him and I would deff find out what! I would give him a time period. Sorry honey but you have 3 months to "Start" your divorce or me and your child are outa here. But on the other hand if you are content with the relationship without the marriage then you have to make that decision, Im one that wont stand for it but this is your situation. GOod LUck!
2007-07-08 05:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by koooolbabe_20000 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are the reason women get a bad rap for being idiots when it comes to men.
You KNOW you don't need to ask us....you already know WHY. He's getting everything he wants from you. Why on earth would he need to get a divorce when it won't change anything?
If you had kept your damn legs shut and his hands OFF you and said "sorry I don't date married men" at the outset, then today you would either be with him (and he'd be DIVORCED) or you'd be on your merry way through life with someone who REALLY cares about you, instead of hanging around waiting on someone who clearly doesn't make you (or his child) a priority with a kid who will now grow up knowing that this sort of behavior is ok. Maybe you'll get to see her grow up, date a married man, have his child, and hang around waiting....
Won't that be nice.
It's not too late to scrape together your pride. Shove him aside and tell him you're finished being his whore and the last thing on his priority list. Tell him you have a "no married men" policy now because you have some self respect now.
Then I'd file for child support and make sure they serve the papers at HIS WIFE'S HOUSE.
By the way, once he gets a divorce after that, please understand that he didn't do it for you, he did it because his wife found out about you and divorced HIM....and he's still going to be scum.
2007-07-08 05:27:32 · answer #4 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make sure you are on good birth control. Does he typically put off things that are difficult? Is it just him putting off the divorce or are there other things? Be careful. Give him a deadline. Let him know it is hard to feel committed to when he is still legally married to someone else. Yuck. He doesn't sound like he's Mr. Terrific from here.
2007-07-08 05:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shoulda said something before having a baby with this guy. He's afraid of commitment and you're letting him off the hook easy. If I were you, since he's your fiance, I would ask him how long does he think the engagement is supposed to last. It's already been three years! Are you prepared to wait another 3 or maybe forever?
2007-07-08 05:24:35 · answer #6 · answered by ((♫♥♪♫♥♪♫ Shivers ♫♥♪♫♥♪)) 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You will eventuelly be referred to as the home wrecker by the wife. That is if this guy has even began divorce proceedures. He may just be using you as another bed buddy also. Get ready for the worst because after 3 years, it's on it's way.
2007-07-08 05:23:54 · answer #7 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am in the spot of the married woman. He has a girlfriend and does not even mention divorce to me. Why ?
Convenient for him isn't it.
Why did you believe him in the first place? I know love is blind and I assume that you still love him so close your eyes and keep loving him just the way he is.
I hope he will be around when the kid goes to the prom.
2007-07-08 06:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by silverwing_68732 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he is at home with the wife end it till it is done. If living together give him a time period to get it done or seperate where you can file for support. If you want a commitment make him do it.
2007-07-08 05:26:31 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was going to the mention the cow saying. But since you did i won't. If i was you. I would leave it have been three years, He obvious doesn't value you enough to make you an honest woman out of you
2007-07-08 05:19:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋