My husband and i have been married since November 2005 We got married when i was 16 and he was 19 ( EVERY YOUNG.. I KNOW) in November 06 we split up due to a number of reasons, but never legally did anything. About 3 months ago i Moved to Florida because we decided to work things out. Since i have been here our relationship has been gold. Everything we ever wanted it to be. However, neither of us have been that happy. We both love each other. In fact i am deeply in love with him. He is having a very hard time in his life, and is very unhappy with everything all around. When he gets this way he pushes everyone away and wants to be alone, genuinely. I as well am facing a lot of hard times and feel as though i need to settle a lot of inner problems. We have decided to continue to live together for a number of reasons. We are still very close and the best of friends. We are trying very hard to not let this come between us in our friendship, However..
2007-07-08 03:42:39 · 9 answers · asked by Sera L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am having a hard time. I do feel this is the best thing we could do for us. We dont want a bitter ending and do want to stay close. It hurts to see him though. Neither of us are intrested in other relationships either so this isnt a concern. Nothing has changed much though. He always has worked ALOT so i didnt see him to much to begin with. On top of that he played games when he got home. I have a part time job and take care of the house. Nothing has changed in those ways. We still sleep in the same bed sometimes, and cuddle together. We even are planning to go to the movies together. The only thing diffrent really is we dont kiss, and we dont have sex. We arent speaking as much, as i do tend to cry, so i have been pushing him away. I dont want to push him away, but im not sure how to deal with my feelings. What should i think about this entire situation? How can i make it easier to take some one i have been in an intimate relationship with for years, and just be friends?
2007-07-08 03:49:24 · update #1
What's the question?
2007-07-08 03:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason that you're having any trouble is because, I KNOW YOU KNOW IT, BUT THAT'S THE REASON. You cannot get married at age 16 and 19. That's ridiculous. What the hell was the rush?
When you get married, you make a commitment to spend the rest of your lives together, till death do you part. That is only for adults that are ready to SETTLE! That is when they are certain when the man or woman of their dreams arrive, because they know what they want and then they naturally fall in love.
That should be when their in the late 20's, early 30's. They should also be together and learn everything possible about each other for about 3-5 years before marriage.
You two didn't even live yet. You're still babies! I hope for the babies sake that you don't have one.
Well, couples that get married at the wrong time for the wrong reasons are getting a divorce. You're definitely getting a divorce so instead of wasting more time, file.
2007-07-08 04:04:17 · answer #2 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused....you say that since you've moved your relationship has been gold and everything you ever wanted it to be, but that neither of you are that happy, he's having a hard time in his life and that you need to settle inner problems. How is this relationship "gold" if neither of you are really, truly happy? Sounds like you need to redefine what makes both of you happy and work on it, or go your separate ways and find it on your own.
2007-07-08 03:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by IceIt71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
continue being a good friend to him and keep the intimacy part out this is a excellant idea and i commend you for mot being intimate. becoming his best friend and loving him is all you need to do sounds liek he's already your best friend. you can't find too many young males who work and come home, he could be hanging out all times of night. you guys maybe be seperated but your closer than ever. reach out to him to be closer you make the first move. sometimes we get too caught up in what we want and forget about are spouses needs. so if you take care of him and he sees how much you care about him he'll come around and do the same for you. sounds like you have a great husband
there is nothing wrong with being young! it's being young and dumb that's is wrong
2007-07-08 05:26:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
your husband sounds depressed, and in fact, so do you.
and perhaps you don't know how to communicate with each other?
have you considered therapy? someone to talk with and to guide you and help you to SEE what is really going on with your lives?
you can consider going separately or together......
since you're both having "inner problems" therapy could be something to think about very seriously.
it works when we work it! take care of YOU... ok? hugs
2007-07-08 03:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please remember this is a site for questions, not statements or life stories. I wish you the best.
2007-07-08 04:50:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy! really, it can work wonders. if you go together or seperate, i still think you should go.
2007-07-08 03:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by eb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move into the spare bedroom....do for yourself let him carry his own weight....
2007-07-08 04:03:23 · answer #8 · answered by sayasyoulike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, what's your question?
2007-07-08 03:47:05 · answer #9 · answered by Sammie's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋