how can i get ahead when people will be pushing me down?

Question

I am a thin, petite woman. For most of my life I was skinny. It's part nature, part nuture. I grew up very poor, and we didn't eat a lot. Furthermore, my family is thin. I used to get picked on as a child for my weight. Now, I'm a professional dealing with the same crap. I started a new job two months ago, and one of my co-workers was complaining today about people on the day shift. I told her she was making me want to avoid that shift. She and another co-worker of mine said the women on that shift would hate me anyway because I'm skinny. One of the women they were talking about is a superior of mine -- and a rotten person anyway. How should I deal with this? I was a waitress for 10 years and met some of the nicest people who don't behave like this. Go figure -- the nasty people are the professionals.

Answer 1

Hello Min;

I ,like you, was thin most of my life and couldn't gain a pound. My trainer told me " you are the only one who comes to the gym to gain weight". If you look the way i looked then yes, shallow people willl hate you. But take shelter in the fact that all people are not shallow, someone will want to rise above them ,for the sake of God!!!

When you do get to talk in a friendly way, remind them that we all have our faults and we thin people have jealousies too. Not of fat people maybe(however my obese friends married before I did). The most important thing is to be real. I worked in nursing for many years and I am aware of all the health related issues obese people run into as they age. If you work in that field you to will see how gruesome it becomes.

I was thin because I was active and had energy. Doing activities with heavy people is different, they are in a different ability group. The activity has to be planned around their abilities. Like if you go out to eat, do the booths accomodate obese people, or if you go to the museum do they have and elevator?

I probably overlooked this when I was young but I have learned alot since then.

Some how these people need to relaize that you are real and that you have feelings too, just like them. If you hurt them apologize, if they hurt you, let them know.

I feel that it takes alot of people skills to work with others. I have a friend who is in occupational development who is my mentor for situations like this, try to find a mentor who is good at workplace dramas and she can help you figure out the situations as they develop.

It is a good idea to take some spirituality to work with you, the work place should be a meaningful part of our lives. Say an angel prayer on your way to work.

Answer 2

Well for one, I wouldn't take the word of people who are just gossiping. You don't KNOW that the women will hate you because you're skinny. I wouldn't avoid a shift because of something a few people said. Secondly, it sounds like you've had bad experiences w/ people but you HAVE to be open. If you walk into a room EXPECTING people to be mean to you, then that's likely what you will attract. The fact is - yes, some women are petty and jealous over thin women. But in general, if you have a great personality, they will want to be friends with you. You have to find a way to not let this thought rule your life. It will affect how you carry yourself, how you speak to others, and your attitude. All of those things will affect the kind of treatment you attract from others. Goodluck sweetie - now go eat some steak! :)

Answer 3

the one who told you this didn't really focus too much on how the word "skinny" will affect you, she probably said this to you for no purpose at all. however you will take her words very personally because it's something that touches a sensitive thing about you. so i will say forgive and let it go. each one of them have a problem either weight, someone in their family hates them, or problem within the husband or wives..etc just don't worry about it. this issue is more senstivie to you but not to them.

Answer 4

Several thoughts: 1. You have to get over this. People are just catty and nasty sometimes. 2. When it is real offensive, you need to confront it in a profession manner, assertively, not aggressively. When you talk about the bad behavior, make it clear that you are not condemning you’re the individual, but what was said or done. Talk about how you feel, and not about him/her. . Say things like, "this made me feel bad" as opposed to "you made made me feel bad".

Answer 5

You are just annoyed because you can recognize how shallow they are. Good for you for being down to earth and knowing how to work hard to get to where you are. Someone like you doesn't give a damn about the size of them women, you just appreciate someone with a good intellect and values. Your personality has nothing to do with your size.

Answer 6

Ignore any comments on weight. We fat people don't hate skinny people, we are jealous of them. Do you hate them because of their weight? No, you dislike their attitudes, or what they do. So, smile....be nice, do you job. They won't have anything to b-itch about. Some people never grow up. Rise above all the BS and you'll get ahead on your merits.

Answer 7

ignore these kind of people. stand up firm and strong on your feet. have confidence in yourself. improve your lifestyle and show them how good you are. just ignore these kind of people, I say it to you again and again. no one is better than the other but some of us work more than the other. so go on be yourself and live your life the way you've always wanted.

Answer 8

They are jealous because they are fat pigs!

Answer 9

Screw them. They're just mad because noone likes fat chicks!

Answer 10

They're just jealous cause they're probably fat asses.