We are very happily married and are very open and honest with each other, but want to enjoy other people, with each other and alone. Three-somes and the like.
2007-07-08 02:33:09 · 24 answers · asked by pantylover8 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, it depends on your marraige and your partners feelings on it. are you both comfortable sexually? do you feel like your marraige could survive any bump in the road? could you deal with seeing him kiss and touch another woman? if you both can say yes to those questions and are comfortable talking about it, then i say it's OK to experiment. i mean everybody has a different idea of a healthy sex life.
2007-07-08 02:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by VW Girl :o) 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I married my husband because I wanted to be with him and only him for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I did my exploring before we met so I was no where near a virgin. I feel that swinging or swapping is going against the vows you took on your wedding day. If you are very happily married why would you even think about this? In my opinion this would be a way to introduce new complications into your relationship. Sure my husband and I have talked about a threesome and things like that but we know it's only talk. An open marriage is not a marriage.
2007-07-08 09:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Been there ~ done that.
It is definitely NOT for everyone.
Unless you have a rock-solid relationship, don't even consider it. If either of you is prone to displaying feelings of jealousy or self-image issues, you're heading for trouble.
That said, a lot of couples go through an "experimental" stage and it usually doesn't last all that long before they return to a more standard monogamous relationship.
There's a lot of risk involved, the greatest of which is STDs. Even if the men use condoms (which they should) there are other ways to contract STDs.
A lot of couples do NOT honestly represent themselves in many ways (smoking, hygiene, emotional problems). Just forewarning you.
The odds are basically against you having totally satisfying connections, but I guess odds alone don't deter people - look at Vegas.
The "interview" process with other couples can get tedious in a hurry.
2007-07-08 14:32:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is an eye-opening experience for some people, but a relationship-killer for most.
I'm in an open/swinging relationship, and have nothing but good things to say about it.
But you have to really, REALLY trust your significant other. We have seen a ton of couples be ripped apart by it, because they got jealous.
I would start with a threesome/foursome, and work from there. Doing stuff together is one thing, but doing things alone is whole nother can of worms. Work up to it very slowly. Talk about what's going on frequently. Set rules. Check in often. BE HONEST.
It can make your relationship even stronger if you do it right. But if you do it wrong, it can ruin your relationship.
I have done things both with my partner, and alone. We have a policy that we always tell the other everything we do with other people. Honestly, I feel like it's brought us closer.
If you want to talk about it further, just drop me a line.
2007-07-08 09:41:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I believe the right couple could do that and still have a healthy marriage. There has to be a LOT of communication especially about jealousyand also a lot of alone time with each other. Rules about what you will/will not do with someone else also. Some people believe it's cheating, but if the spouse knows, how can it be??
2007-07-08 09:39:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who bragged about swinging and three somes I told him one day you will be sorry. He would tell me I should do that with my husband. I told him no thanks. I married one person if I wanted to have more I would have remained single. So years went by and he seemed like a jolly happy type of man, filled with advice to others. Go ahead swing its the way to be etc. Well low and behold his wife fell in love with another man and left him. He was devestated. He now is married and puts all his efforts and his love to his one woman. The problem with opening your marriage to swinging you become desensitized to love and your wife or she will to you and you will end up hurt or she will be. My friend blames his first wife saying it was her idea not his and she ruined the marriage. So my advice get some costumes and play and enjoy who you are married to. Otherwise you may be very very sorry.
2007-07-08 09:48:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can answer this question from two different perspectives: Love and Lust.
I've actually asked my wife to do the same thing and it was motivated by a lustful desire to engae in the activity, but deep down I knew that it didn't represent any sort of commitment.
When it somes to love, you're not sharing yourself with one select individual when you swing...you're sharing with more. Relationships are difficult enough and introducing a third, fourth or even fifth person to it would complicate it more...
You have to consider the fact, as well, that there maybe someone out there that could pull your spouse away from you... ever thought about that?
OH...and by the way, my wife responded to my request by saying, "STFU...we're married! Did you forget that?"
2007-07-08 09:53:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it is really working for both of you... big if, then why are you asking the question. When you discover your reason for concern, then you can decide what you need to know. This can work if both people are ready and want it, but rarely ever does over the long term.
2007-07-08 09:36:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
me and my wife talk about it ,if you have a really really strong relationship then i dont see the problem. you go for it BUT keep tabs on jealousy and always swing together never on your own.
trouble usually starts when one partner really likes the other party and push for more, it has to be a two way thing
2007-07-08 09:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by vwpanelvan74 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a personal matter between the two of you. If you can do this and still love each other then that is your business, not anyone else's.
2007-07-09 05:34:00 · answer #10 · answered by duaneb_59 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋