would you be upset if your sister wudnt let you in the room whilst in labour.?

Question

Well ever since my sister found out she was pregnant i had been asking her if i could go in the room with her whilst shes in labour and she said no right from the beginning.
we are really close sisters tell eachother everything pretty much. and shes in labour right this minute since 5 this morning. just got put on methadine. or however you spell it lol.
and shes inviting her friend in the room with her.
im extremely upset and annoyed.
if your wondering why im not at the hospital its because me and my mother got kicked out at 8:30 cause visitoring hours are over. and were just waiting for a phone call now!
would you be upset if you were in my situation ?

Answer 1

When my sister had her first baby 6 years ago, I wasn't allowed in the room either. I could come and go to visit but when it was time she had made clear to everyone that only her husband was allowed. It didn't bother me because I wasn't sure I wanted to be in the room with her while she was in that much pain. (no epidural)

Now that I'm pregnant, I can totally understand her reasoning. I don't want a hundred people in there watching whats going on. I want my husband and my mom, because they are the only two people I feel will comfort and help the best.

Sometimes at the time things happen we don't understand the reasoning behind it, maybe when it comes for you to have your own little one you may get where she's coming from.

Congratulations on being an Auntie!

Answer 2

I am 29w2d and the only people that will be in the delivery room besides the medical staff are me and my husband. I do not want anyone else in there. I have 3 sisters, a sister in law and my mom, grandma and mother in law who will all be at the hospital, just not in the room. If your sister is not comfortable with the idea of you seeing her give birth, respect that and back off. She isn't taking anything away from you. She and her comfort are what matters. Be a good sister and don't give her hassel over her decision.

Answer 3

One of my daughters didn't want me with her after a certain point, the other wanted me there to the end.
Its up to the woman who is there, when it comes to family, some women feel self conscious or like they have to be brave and are afraid they may not be so brave when the time comes. You sister may ask everyone to leave when the going gets rough. Or she may feel a need to rely on one special friend that she may feel safe enough to trust.
There was a time in the not too distant past when a woman always went through labor and delivery with no family or friends anywhere around. Enjoy the baby, and lose that sense of upset, its not that wonderful to watch and the baby is more fun than the grunt work.

Answer 4

I think your sister has the right to have the people she wants in her room. You are wrong to feel upset about that. As far as being kicked out, most hospitals have a waiting area for this type of thing, was there not one you could go to?

Answer 5

While I can understand how her not wanting you there hurts your feelings, try not to let it get to you too badly. There are some women who don't want that many people in there with them while others invite a whold crowd. Even though the two of you may be close, she has a significant other it seems. It took the two of them to create the child, perhaps they just want it to be the two of them (hospital staff withstanding) to be there when the child comes into the world. They are the parents, she carried this child, allow them that. Once the child is here, I am sure she will be more than happy to share with her family. But for now, allow them their time.

Answer 6

Im 38 weeks pregnant and due for a C-Section next week. If I did have a natural birth I sure as hell wouldnt want anyone in there with me while im trying to have a baby besides my hubby and the hospital staff thats doing there job! I think that its pretty selfish of you to be pissed off because your sister doesnt want you in there!! How would you feel trying to push a baby out of you and having your sister right there bugging you? Give her her space!

Answer 7

Don't give much gravity to it. Once she come home with the new born, just do your duties as a sister and continue to be nice.
It's her right to decide who she wants in the room, and you shouldn't insist on staying, since she is already in a difficult condition.

I am sure she doesn't mean bad to you though. Don't prood over this. I can understand you are hurt but don't let it ruin your happy experience with the new visitor who comes to your family. Good Luck.

Answer 8

I would want my midwife, doula, partner and maybe best friend, maybe.

She really needs to concentrate hard on each contraction, and her body knows who she can see right now and who she can't. You shouldn't take this as an insult, if every woman brought in every person that wished to be present, the room would be packed, and birthing would be horrid.

She told you from the start no. So, why now are you letting this upset you. This is her time, and she deserves you to be selfless and there for her, not angry and upset for her choice.

Answer 9

I think it's weird that she lets her friend in and not you when you're so close. I can see why you're hurt. However, try to not be too mad about it. Your sister has every right to decide for herself who she'd have with her while in labour. When she's given birth and everything is back to normal, you could try to tell her how you feel and ask her why she wouldn't want you there. She probably has a good explanation.

Answer 10

It's your sister's choice who she wants to have in the delivery room.

Of course you have the right to feel however you want about it

Think about if it was you though, I don't think I would want my little sister "south of the border" when I was going through that!! I don't even think I'd want her holding my hand!!

When my sister was in labor I was in there with her, until she got all whiny and mean then I left to go to the waiting room - I went through Lamaze with her - that was enough for me I don't think I could handle seeing a live birth!!