Ok, I have always been confident about my age... I look younger than most of my friends, I hang out with 20-something people... I am happily married. Until now. I am a week from my big 3-0. I am close to panic. No big career (just a job), no kids, and feeling soooo not ready for an adulthood!!!!!!!! Should I change my life rapidly (change a job, get a science degree or start my own business--- inject hormones---- get fat and then pregnant if I am lucky)---i.e. achieve goals of so-called "real life" ------or maybe I am still too immature for that and should wait another 2-3-5-10 years to get a grown-up life? What if I'll never be ready? Share your own experience of a midlife crisis at 30..everyone... please! Especially women...How do/did you deal with it?
2007-07-07 23:43:12 · 7 answers · asked by nice2meetya 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hi Nice,
I have 12 years on you. Thirty was MUCH harder then turning fourty. I had many of the same fears. sometimes still do.
I think you hit on something though, maybe somewhere deep down you have a nagging feeling you should be doing more with your life by now.
You are having a time in life meant to sit back, evaluate and decide what direction you want to go. Set some goals and start to work towards them (this also has the WONDERFUL side effect of great self-esteem as you move closer to your goal).
You've been a real adult since 18, maybe it has been a nagging subconcious thought for a while that by 30 you should be doing "XYZ". AT 42,. I don't feel that much older than at 22, but a hell of a lot wiser. I can personally thank Laura's School of Hard Knocks and Slower Learning for that.
What I did in my 30's? I started them like you...wondering if I should do more. A financial set-back due to divorce convinced me to go to school (I did it!) and secure a better job.
The high anxiety leaves just like it came on...about a week after the birthday. Still, this is a great opportunity for growth and change. You can play the "when I grow up" game and pick one option and do it.
Good Luck!
2007-07-08 00:04:49 · answer #1 · answered by Laura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a real "milestone", but it DOESN'T have to be a drag. When I turned 30 (16 years ago, do the math! ;) , I was newly divorced and ready to 'rumble' (LOL...)
The thing to remember is that you don't have to uphold any one ELSE'S "standards" of what you should act like, dress like, or "be" like... the only person you have to please is YOURSELF.
Don't make any big or "sudden" changes, you'll send yourself into a tailspin... just take it as another day and you'll be terrific.
Oh, and by the way? 30 is just the START, honey... it gets BETTER and SWEETER when you know what you want and aren't afraid to reach out and grab a handful! ;)
(and I realize that can be taken ANY number of ways, that's why I worded it that way!) ;)
Happy birthday in advance, and don't worry... I still haven't figured out what *I* want to be when *I* "grow up" yet... for my birthday, I have tickets to see Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance - PFFFFFFFFFT on age 'constraints'! ;)
2007-07-08 00:16:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I panicked at 30 also because I realised how quickly life was slipping by and how little I had to show for it. 35 was better as I really felt I had arrived and started to understand who and what I was - My confidence level grew at 35 and I stopped worrying about things/life so much. And then I realised that I didn't need to care what other people thought about me.
It's a good thing...... the answers will come to you .....it's just another step in the journey....
Take care
2007-07-08 01:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by flip 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you sure you are going to be 30? for one, "hang out" with adults your own age. two, stop being so panicky. it's really not that bad. you act as if your life is going to end.
hell, i'm going to be 40 in 4 yrs and it doesn't bother me!
not because ppl say "you don't look your age". you are only old if you want to be.
one more thing. "mid life crisis" is not at 30. women live a very long time. honestly i don't think women have those. i think men do.
just my opinion.
2007-07-07 23:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Charmed One♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did have some pains in those aspects that have been purely the Braxton Hicks contractions that practice you for hard paintings, yet what you're describing sounds greater like the rigors I felt for the period of truly hard paintings. each and every woman is diverse inspite of the incontrovertible fact that, and has diverse ranges of soreness tolerance besides. If those pains proceed i could call the wellbeing practitioner. they're going to inform you what to do.
2016-10-01 03:18:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead, try to be grateful about being 30.
2007-07-08 00:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Kinsey says a woman doesn't start to live before she's 30"
2007-07-07 23:50:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋