exchange student (I was as pure as the driven snow) and I received intensive counseling years later, but have never shaken the experience or gone back to feeling normal. I actually feel kind of a physical sense of loss or something I can't quite describe in the private region. I just can't believe that one second can change one's whole life. I did make the decision at the time to just "go through with it" and that it "really didn't matter" (his words actually) and so feel it was partially my fault. Yet it turned what was once an open and friendly girl toward men into someone who feels ugly, changed beyond remedy, and simply not comfortable joking or flirting with men - I have not have a boyfriend since - and never married (I am middle-aged now). I also never pursued my career (I am a lawyer). So now here I am at middle-age feeling my life was robbed of me. I have decided to pursue my legal career with a vengeance, but can anyone provide re: my sadness at never marrying?
2007-07-07 23:26:21 · 6 answers · asked by sweetpea 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Please know that the Committee for Safety of Foreign Exchange Students is working for the protection of foreign exchange students. It was instrumental in changes to the U.S. Dept. of State federal regulations inMay 6, 2006 and now the federal regulations are proposing sanctions/termination for placement agencies that fail to make the health safety and welfare of exchange student the most important priority. Please send your comments to the U.S. Dept of State at jexchanges@state.gov to strengthen child safety measures for these vulnerable kids. Refer is RIN 1400-AC29
2007-07-09 14:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be completely honest with you. I was dated raped. I went to a party with a guy who was a supposed friend and he had put something in my drink and to make a long story short, I was no longer a vigin.
That happened when I was 17 and I'm now 23. I'm married to a wonderful man, I have a beautiful 1 yr old daughter and I have a great job. Sounds like I have a perfect life right? I can't complain. But what I do want you to know is that I still think about that night and what had happened to me. So I guess you could say that I forgave but never forgot.
So you never married? Why not? I'm sure your a beautiful woman with a lot of great qualities. But you probably still hold a grudge towards men in GENERAL. You were not raped by every man in this world, so don't hold it against them. Get yourself out there but tread carefully. There are plenty of bad men out there.
Congrats on pursuing your career finally!
2007-07-11 19:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by jessica s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear this.
Perhaps the counseling you were recieving was not the appropiate one?
You have to change the way you are thinking about yourself. It seems that cognitive behavioural therapy has helped a lot of people. It is a school of psychotherapy that helps people overcome their emotional problems
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/therapies/cognitivebehaviouraltherapy.aspx
Please look for help and yes concentrate in your carreer, it is never too late. You have the power to do this. Have confidence in this power. Have confidence that you can let go of the past an begin to live a happy life. You can do it!!
2007-07-08 06:52:43 · answer #3 · answered by Flyinghorse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, that you missed out on your best years of life, but not necessarily. You need strength to re enter the dating scene. There r plenty of singles groups as well as dinners that you can be in a group environment to meet people. But you can only judge if you are ready to over come the step that has been holding you back and keeping you in the dark from your happiness.You seem like a lovely lady that shouldn't be deprived of a beautiful for filed life.. I wish you the best and please be strong and happy with in.I fine socializing with good friends is a great way to talk and express feeling that sometimes are best to be off your chest rather then congested in side and build up.. Please look after yourself.
2007-07-08 08:44:23 · answer #4 · answered by Honey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did nothing wrong and have nothing to feel ashamed about. I'm sorry this happened to you but you are still young enough to find a partner it dosn't matter what your age is there are decent respectable men out there have faith in yourself and them. Good luck.
2007-07-11 09:08:57 · answer #5 · answered by holly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what happen with u is not the end of life, mishaps do occur in the world and one should overcome its consequences wisely. Enjoy this world, make most of it, look for a better life partner who help u to get u out of it.
2007-07-08 07:16:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋