if youve lost your faith in humanity, because youve had to endure some immense trauma & hardship in your life?

Question

at the hands of others throughout your life, how does your faith in humanity get restored?
how do you find love and light, and learn to love again? when all that your lifes circumstances have left you with is hate and great anger and rage, when in the first place you didnt wanna be that way, you didnt want things to finish up the way they have.
its almost you could say, people have implanted that hate, anger, rage inside you, because of the prolonged trauma and victimization youve had done to you at the hands of others.

so what im saying is, how do you find your way back to love and light and humanity once more? is it possible or are you permenantly screwed?

i do respect religious answers, iam religious myself, iam christian, but i would prefer answers coming from your heart, from you yourself, and cast religion just to the side for this specific question.

Answer 1

You will I hope excuse the fact that I haven't read every single response before writing this, but I wanted to answer this question before it was closed to responses.

I think the one thing that you can do right now is to forgive. That is - I know - an incredibly difficult thing to do and I know that you may not feel like forgiving now or perhaps at any point in the future. However, forgiving is not about the perpetrator, it is about the 'victim'; I used that term reservedly because in some quarters it has become a perjorative term. You have had bad things happen to you and you are a victim then in the classic sense. Forgiveness is about you ceasing to feel anger or resentment. Once that happens though, you can begin to move on. There are various sites on the internet about forgiveness and you can just google them.

As other here have suggested, you should look to your friends to build you up. And friendship is like love, you take the good with the bad and the rough with the smooth; your friends will accept you in the same way that you will accept them. It is human nature that we continue to seek each other out regardless of our idiosyncacies, our pasts and our faults.

Lastly, think about what you want from life. One of the things that is going to help you move on is to think positively about yourself and the rest of your life. Think about all the things that you want to do and learn to do them regardless of what anything else may think or say. And remember that the point is not to do them well, it is for you to do them. You may never play piano at Carnegie Hall but you may just be able to hold a tune or three at a friend's dinner party. Likewise, you may never win the MotoGP championship, but you may just ride a motorbike well enough to impress all your friends.

Be hopeful and remember that no matter how dark the night or how bleak things look hope always arrives to the hopeful.
Maya Angelou said, "There are defeats in life. The point however is to remain undefeated." No matter how bad it gets, remember that.

Answer 2

Life is tough, there's no debating that, and someone has to get the short straw. "But why me?" you ask. Would you rather it happen to someone you cared for? Once that inner turmoil is settled then you can start taking the first steps to believing in humanity again.

Your faith in humanity can only be restored when YOU take steps to restore it. There is no use sitting around thinking about how you have been victimized and how your life sucks because it's a self-affirming, never-ending cycle. Easier said than done.

Start by learning from the mistakes that got you into this trauma and hardship. If no mistakes were involved, then remember the process that got you out. Then look at life a different way - do you want others to go through what you have been through? Therein lies your answer: Help yourself by helping others. I can't even begin to remotely understand the trauma and victimization you've been through, but once you see the gratitude of others that you've helped, you will start to realize that all everyone is doing is finding a way to get by. And by then, you too would have found your own way.

Answer 3

These people have given you good suggestions. I just want to add a few things. It's going to take time to be able to trust others again. They will probably have to earn it. It is vital that you learn to forgive the people who have hurt you. Because your anger, etc. is not hurting them. It is hurting YOU. It is causing you all sorts of problems, including your unhappiness. From a religious point of view, you are supposed to forgive. That does NOT mean, you have to be part of these peoples lives. I would stay away from whoever they are. By hanging on to the anger, rage, and hate, you are in essence continuing to be a victim. Keeping busy and meeting new people (because not everyone is like that), along with my previous suggestions and the suggestions given by the people here will help. It's going to take a while. These feelings developed over time. It will take time to heal.
Do not let people hurt you any more. You can tactfully stand up for yourself. If it comes to that, you can call the authorities or whatever. Since you believe in God, look to him for guidance. Read your bible. It will help. Pslams is a really good book to start with. I am not on here all of the time. However, if you want e mail me at
[e-mail]
If you don't that's fine too. I feel a lot more comfortable talking to people online. They can't see you, etc.

Wishing you the best, peace, love, and happiness.

Answer 4

Stress, of whatever nature, if too prolonged and too severe, can eventually overwhelm any person, now matter how well developed the person's adaptive capabilities are everyone has a breaking point, and that's why people tend to adapt to stress then need to find their journey back to a different road in life.
let's try this
learn to understand what people are communicating to you ,non verbally as well as verbally insight into other peoples feeling can minimise tensions in interpersonal relationships

Study those around you to see how they cope
Pace Yourself
Relaxation exercises
Realise that you are your own best friend and look after that friend well. diet, exercise, staying away from negative people and situations
Working through your issues slowly this is what will help with future decisions
I wish you all the best life has to offer in the future hope this helps

Answer 5

Create a nice circle of friends around you. Be helpful and giving. You don't need to pretend. Let your friends know what happened to you earlier and give them a chance to understand you moods. It might be that you have to give at the beginning more than you will get in return, but you will be liked, loved and respected in the end. About real love, it will find you, don't try to push it. Start with friendships and understanding. Wish you all the best for the future.

Answer 6

Your question is really excellent and hard to answer.

I suppose you have to focus on yourself rather than what others did to you.

I suppose you have to say to yourself the best revenge is living well. By living well, I mean living a good, fulfilling, meaningful life.

You have to put the trauma aside (even though it still exists) and think about what you want to do with your precious life - your goals and start working towards them.

Here are the lyrics to "That's Life" sung by Frank Sinatra

That's life, that's what people say.
You're riding' high in April,
Shot down in May.
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top in June.

That's life, funny as it seems.
Some people get their kicks,
Steppin' on dreams;
But I don't let it get me down,
'Cause this ol' world keeps spinning around.

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.

That's life, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting,
But my heart just won't buy it.
If I didn't think it was worth a try,
I'd jump right on a big bird
And then I'd fly.

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.

That's life, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting,
But my heart just won't buy it.
But if nothing's changing come this here July
I'm going to roll myself up in a big ball and die.

Answer 7

If you are a true Christian you can not put you conviction to one side, it will color you your answer. I may gripe about the way mankind is going or how society is stepping on me but this is the best that man can do with what God gave us. You whine or rant or rave about the injustice but would you really want the alternative. Beyond what I have stated is the world so live it.

Answer 8

You can best rid your mind of any wrong doings by socialising more making new contacts , giving your thoughts less time to dwell on the past, only then will you come out of it

Mechanical Eng.!!!

Answer 9

I am sorry, but I can't cast it to the side, as it is the only true answer, to all problems...good luck though, hope you find the happiness you deserve

Answer 10

There Is Definitely Hope, and Help Out There! I adapted and condensed several things I've written to try to come up with an answer that could help you. I went over it several times, but there may still be some repetition. I hope something in it helps you, Love, and gives you peace. Good Luck and God Bless!
……………………………………………
I was a victim most my life. Though repressed, my abuses resurfaced years later in full force! When it did, I was with someone abusive, telling me I was pessimistic; couldn't be trusted; violent; a bad mother… Then there were the punishments! Oh Lord! After 20 years of this, I totally lost myself. I no longer knew who I was! My confidence was gone. I was shattered. I couldn't believe friends and family who said I was a good person. All the good I'd done dissolved into a grim, dismal haze. I turned to sleeping pills and nearly died several times.

Eventually, I realized I had to escape. When I saw what I had endured (severe abuses, lies, deceit, manipulation, isolation…) and witnessed, And Allowed, I became enraged! Furious! The only things I could feel was depression, rage, or absolute numbness! People avoided me, due to my anger. I lost dear friends that can Never be replaced! I finally hit rock bottom, which created change. I actually began to face my anger and pain. I got off the pain meds (too tempting to hide) and decided to deal with the physical pain.

I realized my thoughts were molded from birth, and forgave those who taught me for they were also taught. Blame is pointless; forgiveness, EVERYTHING. Now here is the hardest part... forgiving my abusers! And I've been able to... that is, all except one. I am working very hard to forgive him too, since my anger and pain only poisons me, not him! Mom often quoted the saying, ‘Poison destroys the vessel in which it is kept.’ Then she reminded me of my grandfather’s face—the frown permanently etched in it from years of anger and hate. I won't be a vessel like my grandfather. I saw the devastation he created that still ripples out today! Dreadful emotions fester, spilling over to contaminate all that's precious, leaving merely empty wasteland. I won't allow my abusers’ cruelties to infect me like that.

Sometimes we must remove ourselves from negative situations, especially when people try drawing us back to old patterns. Change frightens them. It is scary because we become a different person. Sometimes friends and even family no longer play a part in our new life. I found myself grieving for awhile because I didn't seem to fit in. But it passed. I discovered new friends that inspired, rather than drained. Family can learn acceptance and may even change, because you've set an example.

This part is most important; the way I saw myself. I had to see myself as strong and worthy. I had to value myself before others could. I had to see myself for who I was. A book called “How We Choose To Be Happy” helped me with that! It really changed my life, along with other powerful books. I also had to consider what I wanted in life… something I never really gave much thought to because I was taught to please others! It took some time to consider, but I finally left California to find myself. I'm still in the process of that, but I've healed tremendously. I had to face the fact that I was groomed to be a victim! There are things we do to remain victimized... AND there are predators who recognize this to prey on us! I have been working very hard on my feelings, mind set, and behaviors. I am changing for Myself, and as an example to my daughter and son, who have also suffered.

I suffered excessive negativity and sleeplessness. Because of sexual and emotional abuses and traumas, I had night terrors. I used to scream when I finally fell asleep. I have gotten so much better because of self help books, color therapy, and meditations. These have changed my life, though it takes time, work and lots of commitment. Perhaps it could help you. I've been working very hard changing myself and my thinking (like seeing what I've gained, Not what I've lost). I'm happier because I've been changing the way I see myself and the world. But change takes time, so be patient. It's doesn't happen over night. If you are interested in meditation, let me know. I will provide a couple that helped me. Or you can purchase books on meditation.

Energy is real. We actually carry negative energy left behind by our abusers. I have spent a great deal of time releasing that energy into the earth. There's so much more that I have done, like change the way I allow myself to be treated, learning to love myself, realizing I AM worthy! God Bless You, Love. Recovery and healing is a difficult road… but definitely well worth it.

The Rewards and Peace Of Mind are Indescribable!
Take Care, Good Luck, and God Bless!!