When i was in 7th grade i became very close friends with a girl and we have been very close since then, She has all ways just said that we were "Just Friends" and its killing me!! I have watched her go through 2 different relationships the last 2 years and both were horrible not only for me to watch but also for her. both boyfriends treated her horribly and i just dont know what i can do to show her how much i really care. I really like this girl, but i just dont know what to do! me and her are very close, i mean we go see movies together and hang out. I have had a crush on her since we first met. but im afraid that im stuck in the "Friend zone" but i love this person so dearly that i would rather have her in my life as a friend then not at all, and im afraid if i try to become closer then just friends then i will loose a very close friend. so somebody PLEASE HELP!!!!!
2007-07-07 21:12:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is probably not good for you. Your romantic energy is being spent here, where it can do no good. You are most likely a person who's afraid of intimacy and are in this 'almost' situation to solve a problem: How can I get my romantic needs met and not get into a relationship? The answer? Be friends with a girl and dream about what it will be like when she comes to her senses and realizes that you're the guy for her.
She also has problems with intimacy. That's why she's maintaining this relationship with you and choosing boyfriends who treat her badly. She always has an excuse not to get to close to them, because they treat her badly, and then confide in you about the bad treatment.
Both of you are dancing. Dancing around the issue, trying to get intimacy/romantic needs met while not calling this a romance. I doubt you will be able to do anything about this other than just not talk to her anymore. You can try to make a pass at her but I think you know what the answer's going to be. But just try anyway. Then you'll know. You can walk away knowing you gave it a shot. Take her out. Make no bones about the fact that it's a date. Act like a guy who's here for romance. Don't confuse yourself by constantly flipping from romance to freindship. Act jealous when she talks of other guys.
Why do this? Because it's real! What you're doing now is fake. You're pretending to be something you're not, a guy who's here only for friendship. You're in a phony relationship. Phony relationships always cause distress. You have to hide all kinds of feelings from her. This wears your self esteem because when you hide feelings you tell yourself that these feelings aren't OK. You aren't OK because you're having these feelings. It's a terrible thing to do to yourself.
I also doubt you will be able to forget about the romantic feelings. I tried this many times and was unsuccessful. I don't know if you're ready to end this. But, as I see it, one of three things will happen, you end it, you go for it, or it keeps on going the way it has been for many more years. Don't expect the situation to change on it's own.
Yeah, if you try, you may loose her. And when you loose her you WILL miss her. But, loosing her may be the best thing that ever happened to you. Because now you open yourself up to someone who wants to return your love. Are you ready for that?
2007-07-08 10:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did mention she's been through 2 bad relationships. Try to figure out without asking directly if she's even interested in starting a new one. That way you won't exacerbate your situation.
If you think she's interested, try to figure out if you would do any better than the last two - honestly. If you've got that down, try being suggestive in an appropriate way.
I'm not a guy, just saying what I'd rather a dude would do.
2007-07-07 21:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by The Agent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you like to have friends?Then visit the below sites.Any social networking sites should allow the user for placing comments and discussions without any restrictions.You may see more information in http://malaysiasocial.blogspot.com/ and http://malaysia-myspace .blogspot.com/
2007-07-08 02:32:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel, she may feef the same way but is afraid to tell you for fear of loosing you. Otherwise I can't tell you any thing else.
2007-07-07 21:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how u feel mofo tell her that u care for her as a friend to and u jsut need to know what she feels abou u
2007-07-07 21:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by castro134 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk 2 her about it. if she afrees n says yes tell her no mattar wat happens ull always b just as close. i did that n we went out n broke up n were actually even closer now cuz we understand eachother.
2007-07-07 21:15:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the trick is to help her in her relationships with her bf, then she will be like you cared for me all along and boom
2007-07-07 21:16:02 · answer #7 · answered by bornonaplatein1988 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
forget it, she doesn't like you enough
2007-07-07 21:15:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her what is your feeling to her...
2007-07-07 22:27:58 · answer #9 · answered by trixie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋