What could it be if the husband is always the one asking his wife to make love?

Answer 1

A day in the life of 97% of all marriages.

Here's the thing. Men have a physical need for sex. It's who they are.

Women have as strong an emotional need for intimacy.

Now, most men wonder why their wives don't initiate sex, and it's often because, once the honeymoon is over, sex becomes something we like but can live without on a day-to-day basis. Especially after kids enter the picture, our thoughts are taken up by that. Since we don't have the PHYSICAL need for sex, it doesn't occur to us to ask for it a lot of the time.

Similarly, men don't have the strong need for non-sex-related intimacy, so they don't often automatically look to fulfill that need in us.

In my marriage, it's not that I don't like sex, by any means, but that I am so dead tired at the end of the day, it doesn't occur to me to ask for something I don't need (sex).

My husband and I have a deal. He asks for it when he needs it, and I try to remember to ask even when I don't occasionally, but he has to accept that it doesn't occur to me to ask, and if I say "yes" when he does, that's a good thing. This is especially the case, since the ONLY time he wants any other intimacy is when it will lead to sex, so he's not exactly bothering with stepping out of his way to fulfill my unique needs.

In our case, too, something I've noticed is that my husband will ask me -- about ten minutes AFTER I've finally gone to bed, after hours of laundry, taking care of the kids, dishes, cooking AND having an outside job. It helps him relax so that he can sleep. It gives me a second wind, and I'm up for hours after, and quite frankly, I don't need one other thing keeping me up, and I don't appreciate him saying nothing for the time I'm AWAKE, then waiting until I REALLY don't want to do anything that will wake me up to tell me that he needs sex.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my husband, and I don't 'feel there's a lot missing in our relationship. Sex just isn't something that comes to my mind all that often. I'm usually preoccupied with everything else, and without his reminder to keep sex as a part of our relationship, I could just let it go, simply because it's not something I need like he does.

Answer 2

The wife may not have the same sex drive as the husband has.

Answer 3

Either that's all the husband asks and never gives her a chance to be the first one.... or she has fallen out of love. You know, loves but not in love. Don't assume cheating!!!!

Answer 4

I had the same problem for a number of years. I finally broke down and let her know just how I felt. Turns out she just didn't feel comfortable making the first move.

After we talked about it, things really got better. She now realizes its okay to be playful and drop the hint. For me, it always seems better when I know she wants it too.

Have an adult conversation with her and let her know how you really feel.

Answer 5

It's called marriage - all too often women seem to lose their libido soon after the honeymoon. Either they were in a more 'giving' mood when they were trying to find a mate (and feel they don't 'have' to do it once they're hitched), or the stresses of life and marriage affect their feelings, but it's the most common complaint of couples I know!

Answer 6

Women are constantly thinking about a million things and are stressed, tired, and just not interested sometimes. Men are aroused almost instantly, women are not. We need more than just "hey baby, let's do it!" lol

Do not beg! Talk to her, maybe there is another reason for the disinterest but remember it's common.

Answer 7

Just go on a silent strike and before you know it your wife will be doing the asking.

Answer 8

Maybe making the first move is embarrassing to her. Like 50 years ago, they taught the woman that it is not lady like to do such things, and some of those woman passed bad feelings about sex to their daughters. Some woman need to be told it's okay for them to enjoy sex.

Answer 9

You know, that's common for most relationships. Maybe we want our husbands/boyfriends to prove that they still want us, or maybe it's because men have a higher sex drive then women (most anyways). Most nights, i'm too tired to even think about sex...Men seem to have more energy...

Answer 10

the wife isn't interested in sex. maybe she see's it as a duty. the guy needs to go buy something sexy to turn on his wife. sex toys or a tong would be nice.