Okay, so I have been reading a lot of the answers on here pertaining to different sex acts in the bedroom and how it is veiwed by people. Not to go into graphic details, but why is it that some women find certain acts as "disrespectful" or one man said if she does [that] than "she is not marriage material." Another woman said that only wh(O)res give BJ. And if her husband ever gave her a "pearl necklace" she'd leave him because he obviously didn't respect her. My husband and I have a very intense "bedroom experience" always mixing it up and constantly trying new things, products, toys, lingerie. I have never felt anything that we do together has been disrespectful to one another. So what is the problem? Why do some people harbor so many inhibitions? Or Am I just to loose and unreserved with my own sexuality?
2007-07-07 19:05:58 · 9 answers · asked by Uhg....... 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My 1st response to this question is that making love and sex are 2 different things. But what is gross and disrespectful about the other stuff?
2007-07-07 19:14:32 · update #1
I think the people who get worked up about things being disrespectful are often young and inexperienced. If they aren't young and inexperienced then they are just being crusty. Life is too damn short to judge what other people are doing in their bedrooms!
I used to think certain things were 'icky' when I was younger, but now that I am in a very trusting loving marriage I feel free to express myself sexually however I please.
Uninhibited women unite!
(for the record it has NOTHING to do with morals and ethics!)
2007-07-07 19:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Morley 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a highly charged subject - and people react strongly to highly charged subjects.
Like you and your husband, my husband and I are pretty communicative in the bedroom and together have tried a lot of things. We haven't tried everything, but I'll qualify that with a "yet" and say we're always open to discussing something new -- as long as one of us isn't completely opposed to the idea, we'll give it a shot. It's only disrespectful if one party engages in something they know the other party dislikes! Otherwise, it's just experimental. :)
So much of our sexuality is tied up in our upbringing... familial and religious influences play heavily here, teaching us what is "normal" and what is "decent" versus what is "weird" and "freaky." Some people just have a harder time setting aside those early lessons and deciding for themselves whether they like something or not. :)
2007-07-07 19:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do some people think its wrong to eat meat? We respect people who choose to be vegetarian, we dont say they're inhibited eaters. Why do some people choose to be pacifists? We dont say they're inhibited fighters.
Everyone has their own set of ethical mores. For some people, sex is an issue that they have strong ethical convictions about. And, when someone else tries to force them to act against their moral code, they find it disrespectful, just like a vegetarian would if you tried to force-feed them ground beef, or a pacifist would if you tried to force them to beat someone up.
If you dont have any ethical quandary about sex, and your husband doesnt, then that's great for you. If another couple both feel more proper to be more sexually conservative, then thats great for them. And, just like with everything, when you get a couple thats not compatible, then it becomes a source of friction between them.
There's no value judgment on either extreme...people that enjoy more wild kinds of fun arent "bad", and people that dont arent "stuffy".
2007-07-07 19:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by droid327 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Making love or sex...,.people who try and even mix morals, respect , etc into sex are insecure and tend to be or are the same ******* that mix religion and politics, just doesnt mix. You have a healthy marriage dont you?, you and hubby are healthy, other people who cant or wont try for their spouse are either insecure or selfish arent really comfortable or arent rally in love to me, i was a raised a good catholic girl, i was brought up to believe not to give oral sex that only whores do that, i do to my husband , why not, hes my husband he loves me and all of me and appreciates all i do or will try for him, for me for us etc, and even though i have faith in him and trust if you dont do for your spouse theres always some other chic out there who always will ,,,,,,,sex or love isnt disrespectful, wether we are having sex or making love my hubby and i have a good enough relationship in and out of the bed that i know wether its love or sex that he still loves me that love is always behind it, i mean damn after years youve got to keep it alive the love and sex, if you cant be your husbands lady and bad girl behind closed doors than your marriage will go stale and chaeting is inevitable or being miserable
2007-07-07 19:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you! Your marriage sounds pretty perfect from my point of view. I think other people have their own hang ups due to limited experience, prejudiced perceptions and religious and cultural taboos. If you are both consenting adults, both enjoy something, and what you are doing is not biologicaly dangerous to your health...then....enjoy. As for oral activities, Bon Apetite
2007-07-07 19:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, as between a loving couple, anything goes. That's personal between the couple. What business is it of anyone if I like to suck my wife's toes, or anything else? What if she likes to clean my fingernails, or anything else? Whatever we do is between us, and in the privacy of our marriage. I always question the motives of those who criticize the private lives of others. I suspect they are projecting their own insecurities.
2007-07-07 19:21:14 · answer #6 · answered by judgebill 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Things just need to be figured out between the couples themselves.
2007-07-08 01:20:13 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're married...then it's all good when it's consentual between the two of you. That's it. That's the whole reason for marriage...so you can get your freak on with no worries!
2007-07-07 19:21:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on ones morals and ethics that they carry, but I say to each his own!
2007-07-07 19:15:48 · answer #9 · answered by JESSICA G 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋